Sometimes, at night while laying in bed with Sylvanus, I think about things I shouldn’t think or worry about. Sometimes I can’t help it. From time to time, my mind drifts into wishing that Sylvanus and I had met in our 20s. He says I say that quite often and I ask him if he knows why. Sylvanus tells me that it’s because our bodies would be even younger back then. Though that is true, I just wish we had met in our 20s because it would give us more time together on this earth.

The tears begin to flow and I hold back the sobs. I bury my face in his chest, a thin sheet between my tears and his chest. I lay there, tears streaming down my face and wonder how long it will take for them to pool and penetrate the thin fabric beneath.

My mind is locked on how short our mortal lives are. Having met in our 20s, we would have that much more time together. Yes, we are both very aware that we met when the time was right. It’s why we love each other so deeply and appreciate each other so much.

Through my tears, I confess to Sylvanus that I have very silly thoughts. I wish at times that there really were vampires in this life. We could live together, immortal forever. Our story is just too wonderful to end one day. We could be together forever. He was sweet enough to tell me I was not being silly.

I am scared of getting old. I don’t want to. I want us to both be young for a very very long time. I don’t want to think of our bodies getting old and unable to keep up with the lives we want to lead. I know that this is YEARS away from happening, but you know, each year passes faster than the last. Time just seems to tick away.

I guess what I am saying is.. right now… Sylvanus and I are really truly happy. This is the time of our lives and I can’t help but want that to last forever exactly as we are right now. I love you Sylvanus and I wish we could have hundreds of years together.

At the Bizarre Bazaar, I finally treated myself to some dyed hemp bondage rope. Of course, new rope calls for new tricks, so Mina has been having to put up with my incessant desire to practice. This is the Star Harness, on Half Nekkid Thursday. Enjoy.

—

HNT Gallery 2009

Today I am hosting a pity party… won’t you come join me? Today is just one of those days where the reality of everything just sets in. It gets overwhelming sometimes.

Times are tough financially for me (for us?). I have past debts that I still carry with me. It was fine when I was employed, but now I am unemployed and have been since March. My unemployment checks are barely enough. If my calculations are right, they do cover my debts as well as handle the household utility payments. However, that leaves very little spending room for anything else, like trips to the grocery store.

The reality is, I’m not very good at denying myself from things either. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t go to the store and spend hundreds of dollars on things I don’t need. Every once in awhile, I cave. Like this past weekend. We went to the Bizarre Bazaar and I spent $20 on a heart lock necklace and $15 on a soft rabbit fur glove. Sylvanus bought a few new canes, so I was really wanting a soft fur glove to counteract the ouch. Is $35 really so bad? No, it isn’t, but it’s $35 I spent on something I don’t need. I’m doing the best I can. Every day I try harder to resist. There are some things that I can’t resist with. For instance, Lady Gaga is in concert here next month, I’m not missing that and so bought tickets using my credit card. (I know, bad girl). Her new album comes out in a few days. It’s only 8 songs so it’s going to be $8 at Best Buy. I can’t help it…. I will own it.

Why don’t I just get a job? Well, here is the problem. Every possible job in my area that I would consider taking, currently pays me half of what I make on unemployment. I am not over exaggerating. It is the truth. I was making really good money at my old job and so get the maximum for unemployment. Right now, all the jobs in my line of work (don’t ask cuz I won’t tell) offer part time at minimum wage. So you can see that taking a job for the sake of saying I have a job, does not help me financially. I have been applying for jobs in my field. Everything I am qualified for is out of state.

Which brings me to the fact that Sylvanus and I really don’t want to leave CA. It’s looking inevitable though. Even though Sylvanus makes great money, he also struggles. At least, that is the impression I get. He has a lot of his own debts and handles our rent. He can’t help me on my debts and make his ends meet. If you’ve been a reader for awhile now, you know he’s been miserable at his job and has been looking for a new one. Unfortunately, everything he has been looking for is out of state. His boss has come back and said that he has a new job that Sylvanus could possibly take. A different position that Sylvanus likes the prospect of, but a) he’d still be working for his miserable boss and b) it would come with a pay cut. Neither of those options work for us. So it seems to be painfully clear that if Sylvanus and I want to survive, we may have to pack our things and move somewhere else in the hopes that one day, we can come back.

I really liked my job. No, I take it back, I really LOVED my job. Yes, it was hard with one day off a week and being on call constantly. It was physically and mentally draining and towards the end, there was a lot of bull shit going on. But, I loved my actual job and was willing to work there till the day I retire. I miss that job. I can’t think about it without tearing up (many of you may not be able to understand. When I lost my job months ago, I made a protected post that allowed those close to me to learn just what it is I do.) I can go back and visit anytime I want, but the thought of it just makes me sad. It’s just so hard. It was a unique job and I loved it and I’m not going to find anything like it ever again. I can say that with great confidence. Now if I want to stay in my field, I have to consider jobs I’ve never wanted to take for much less pay. This frustrates the hell out of me.

It may be time for to consider going into a new career. One easier to find work in and will pay me better. As I look around my home, there are many things I could part with. Many material objects … but no one is buying anything these days. I have one item of value in my home right now, my parrot. I’m considering it more and more each day.

—-

People suck and not in the good way. I’ve been hurt many times in the past. You learn from it and you get smart and sometimes it makes you look like a bitch. I don’t put up with people’s shit and I don’t make excuses for them for very long. Actions speak louder than words. Don’t make me any promises because ALL promises are made to be broken. I have learned that not everybody has to like me and not everybody has to desire me in order for me to feel validated as a person.

It seems that when I let people into my more intimate life, they disappear eventually. Yes, I know, not all things come with a guarantee. People are people and you can’t expect them to be around forever. Is it too much to ask to find the few that will? It’s been 1 week since Vic last contacted me. I have contacted him through text and email. I am not making any more excuses for him. It’s done and it’s over. Someone who doesn’t have the time for me or have the courtesy to tell me life is a little hard right now I’m going to be MIA for a bit, doesn’t deserve to fuck me or have my time. (you are already making excuses for him aren’t you?) Don’t worry about it, what’s done is done. He may call me one day with an explanation. I’m not holding my breath.

I hesitate to make anyone who came into my life as a friend, cross that line into intimacy. In my experience, it’s setting them up to disappear. There are some people I don’t want to have leave. I would very much like the people that share the bedroom with both Sylvanus and I to be more than just a booty call. We would like to be able to be friends as well. We would like to be able to hang out and talk. I’d like someone who can also talk to me during the day. Tell me naughty things and get me excited for when Sylvanus gets home at the end of a work day.

The internet works the very same way. Obviously because of distance, there are many people who come into my life through the internet. There are those that show up one day, we have a bit of flirtatious fun and then that’s it. No harm, no foul. Nothing more.

I am, however, always craving the proper mind fuck. There have been people in my past that I have instantly connected with. There is this primal spark. There is this immediate knowledge that we mesh well and have great chemistry. Those are rare and they should be. One of two things happens with these people. One: they also disappear. Two: They just don’t have enough time for me and so, disappear. I keep myself very guarded now. On the internet and in person. I won’t let myself give in to someone. I am convinced it will all end in disappointment. So why set myself up for hurt when I can settle for disappointment? I can let myself fall for someone in time. They prove to me that they are special by giving me their time and their efforts along side of my own first. It’s been awhile since I’ve met someone like that.

In a perfect world, I’d meet a woman who is my friend and my lover and makes me feel comfortable sharing her with Sylvanus. I’ll want all of us to spend time together. In a perfect world, I’ll meet a man who can excite me with his words and be invited into the bedroom with Sylvanus and myself. In a perfect internet world, I’ll meet a special person(s) that I connect with strongly and we spend lots of time being naughty and seductive over the distance. Photos, stories and inspiration exchanged. An exciting mind fuck. A relationship that goes beyond IMs and emails, into video chats, text messages and phone calls and maybe one day meeting in person.

Sylvanus asked me last night if it’s worth it for him to go on a new search to find me a “boyfriend” with all this disappointment and hurt that keeps on flowing. “It took me more than ten years to find you,” I answered him. “There’s always hope that the right person is out there and it may take just as long.”

~”It’s never too late to live happily ever after.” (quote on my bracelet I’ve been wearing since the day I got married)

As promised, we are unleashing the best contest ever. This was born from the amazing birthday fuck we had together as we sensually taunted each other with our play with others, and the realization that there is an amazing twist we could put on this that would add enormously to our lives. What makes it so great? Well, let’s start with the most important thing:

The Grand Prize: Mina.

That’s right. The winner of this contest will get my wife. Well, a date with her, to be specific. And, if your dating skills are at least as good as mine, well, there are a lot of possibilities. Which leads us into the contest.

The Contest: Describe the date you will take Mina on if you win the contest, any way you like. You can do video, photos, words, origami, finger puppets, anything. You can be male, female, transsexual, or a couple. Simply throw out what your dream date with my wife will be, and see if it clicks with us.

The Rules:

1. Email your entry to longingsend (at) gmail.com
2. If you win, you have to do the date you described. This means that you can’t promise having an orchestra on the beach of your private island to play Brahms as you seduce her and a flock of doves to release at climax. Unless you really are that loaded. No, it has to be a date you really have the means to pull off.
3. You need to either be in or willing to travel to the Los Angeles area, or wiling to fly and accommodate both Mina and myself to where you are, or be somewhere that we are planning to travel (at present, Atlanta, Las Vegas, and  New York City.)
4. The winner(s) will be chosen by Mina and myself, based on the entries that we like the best. We are the sole judges for this contest, and our decision is final. We reserve the right to choose any number of winners, including zero.
5. We will expect to converse with the person (or persons) we select as the winner prior to executing the date. This is for our safety and your happiness.
6. No sexual activity is promised or implied. Granted we are trying to pick a winner here, and hopefully that means that there will be a special time for all, but let’s be honest (and legal!) here.
7. By submitting an entry, you are granting us permission to re-publish it on this site, whether or not it is chosen as the winner.
8. Any entrant will be subject to a background investigation at our discretion. If you are married, we expect that your spouse will also be involved in the date. We have no interest in supporting cheating spouses.
9. We reserve the right to impose other conditions for our health and safety as they become necessary.

Folks, I am completely serious about this contest, which is why I have to be careful. There will be NO contest anywhere with a prize like this. You’ll notice that there is currently no deadline for this contest. We realize this is awful timing due to holidays being around the corner. This makes both time and money pretty tight. Winning now, does not mean the date can’t be put off till a little bit later. In the near future, we will begin running a companion contest as well, with a taller, more masculine grand prize. Until then, we look forward to receiving your entries. Good luck!

Hi, mina here… I think I need to jump in here and say, this is not a contest about who can spend the most amount of money on me. I am a simple girl, who truly enjoys the simple things and finds beauty in the life around her. I don’t need someone to plan an elaborate date that drops hundreds of dollars on me. The best dates I have ever enjoyed involved fantastic food, good drinks and amazing conversation. I like being able to talk to someone and get to know them better. Conversation is a simple joy in my life. What I’ll be most impressed by is someone’s creativity and inspiration. How much thought did someone put into it? Did they maybe include something personal that they knew I’d enjoy? Anyway, I just felt that it needed to be said. I don’t want people thinking that unless they drop the cash, they don’t have a chance because that is farther from the truth.

xo mina

In front of me are two brilliant acrobat demonstrating some of the more terrifying laws of physics on the rue de la mort. Behind me is an Oscar winning actor and his family. Next to me is my amazing wife, who looks sensational tonight. Inside me are several glasses of wine, some spectacular hors d’oeuvres, and a sense that this is going to be one amazing night…

It’s really hard to figure out where to begin the story of my birthday. At the most mundane level, I woke up and went to work. Mina had a card for me on my computer by my wallet and keys (where I was sure to find it). She has a talent for finding the best birthday card in the store, and this year was no exception. I went back to the bedroom for an extra goodbye kiss, and then made my way for work. When I get there, I do a quick check on the twitter timeline to find this message:

Mina: LADIES! Please feel free to send @sylvanus very special bday pics to his email. “bishop.sylvanus” at gmail. I know he’d love that. ;)

Well, this is going to be an interesting birthday. What I DIDN’T see, though, was this one:

Mina: And MEN, don’t feel left out. Please feel free to send whatever you like to my email. ;) “mydesireblog” at gmail.

This would wind up coming into play later.

The Cirque du Soliel cast is taking in an amazingly well-deserved standing ovation, as we get up and start working through the monstrous crowd. Rather than wait for the shuttle bus from the Santa Monica Pier back to the Civic Center, we decide a nice beach walk at night would work. Mina is absolutely ebullient, and gushing about Kooza specifically and Cirque in general. We get to the car and slowly make our way home. The night has worn me down, and it is nearly midnight when we get home. Mina ditches her heels and lies on the bed. I lie on top of her, kissing her. She pauses, saying she needs to walk the dog. My stomach is churning furiously. Inside, I’m frowning, this night is not going well. I head for the bathroom and she leashes the pup.

As my day went on, I had a new attitude. Most days, every buzz of my phone sends my pulse and blood pressure skyrocketing as I wonder what insanity my boss is about to inflict on me. This day, every buzz signifies the arrival of something new and sexy. I find myself frequently scurrying back to my office to download images on my phone. Mina even sent me a set herself of glistening pussy held open for the camera, and me, to see. I am also entertaining an avalanche of well wishes on Twitter. Amazingly, work turns out to be the first good day I’ve had in a long time. I come home early with some serious spring in my step. She is halfway through getting ready, having donned her new fishnets and new top already. Mina looks really good already. I decided that my chocolate brown sport shirt and black jeans will do for the evening’s festivities. She finishes her look with makeup, smoothly brushed hair, and a black trenchcoat, and her look absolutely freezes me in my tracks. She’s gorgeous and I look like a slob next to her. I dart back to the closet and pull out my tuxedo jacket from the wedding to dress myself up a little more. Now we look like a nice hot couple ready for a special night out.

I’m still in the bathroom when she gets back. I am feeling mostly okay, my stomach finally settling into an uneasy quiet. I go back to the bedroom and Mina is very quiet. It’s almost 12:10 now. I am close to deciding that I might just go to sleep tonight. It’s been a good day, and I’m not as young as I used to be. Alcohol and a full-time, 60-hour-a-week job mean that I’m not still a track star in bed after midnight. I am 32 now. Mina finally looks up at me. “It would be nice if you got the under-the-bed restraints out.” She walks to the bathroom as she says this. Well, then. Game on.

We arrive at 6:56. The Tapis Rouge starts at 7. On cue, the tent opens and we pause to get our picture made. We receive ticket #1. This is a great night indeed. As we continue in, we are greeted with a “Welcome!” and an offer for wine or champagne. In the tent is a private merchandise store, an hors d’ouerves buffet (plus several servers passing more around by hand) a selection of sofas, and a bar. We spend an hour around drinking and relaxing, and enjoying the crowd. Hilariously, Mina found herself at the bar next to famously exuberant Oscar winner. He just gave her that sheepish knowing smile, she smiled back and came back to me, pointing him out. He was out with his family (his young daughter has AMAZING eyes, by the way) and Mina is not the sort to clamor for attention, so we let them be. It is, however, one of those moments that lets you know you are in Los Angeles. The reception flew by, and soon we were under Le Grand Chapiteau enjoying a sensational performance.

—

While Mina was in the bathroom, I pulled the restraints out from under the bed. As I did, I thought for a moment. Was she going to tie me down? That would be, quite literally, a first. Once, very early in our relationship, I donned handcuffs for Mina, but after about five minutes of stalling, she declared “You’re no use to me without your hands,” we ditched the cuffs and kept going. But it wouldn’t make much sense for her to have me lash her to the bed and tell me to go for it. Kinda topping from the bottom, that. I started stripping down, and adjusting the lights. I was looking with futility for the candle lighter when she came back.

She began stripping down to her new underwear as she told me to lie in bed and began binding me to the mattress. I experimentally pulled at the straps, seeing how much play I had. Once down to her striped bra she crawled up to me from between my legs, her breasts landed against me, hitting me slightly uncomfortably. What began then was a dance of stimulation and confession. It felt, if not rehearsed, very planned. And what came from her mouth was a shock.

My wife had spent my birthday being a slut. That tweet that I missed for men to email her had gotten a response. She told me who it was, and that he had sent his cock. Apparently, he had been gifted with a cock that strongly resembled mine, the official Perfect Cock. She had told him so, and decided to tease him. Her tease ran from naughty emails and direct messages. I was smiling, as she was telling the story with a mix of different teases on my erection. She was holding it in my hand, rubbing it in her cleavage, and taking it in her mouth. It was a dance of physical pleasure and mental teasing as she slowly lowered her bra, then took off her panties, and finally lost the bra completely. Then she shocked me.

Mina laid back, facing away from me, opening her body, letting the thick smell of her wetness fill the air. She rubbed herself for me, asking if I wanted to taste her. Of course I did, but rather than give me her cunt to lick, she pushed her fingers in my mouth. She revealed that she had given him a webcam show. She had let this stranger watch her masturbate while he was at work. She had never checked with me if it was okay. Even more, the pictures of her wetness she had sent had come from this chat. I knew that she didn’t just get wet because of the sun shining, but I didn’t realize she had broken so many taboos that day. Earlier this week we had had an uncomfortable situation about her showing herself on the webcam to Vic without asking. In fact, the conversation had left in me in quite a funk for a while. And now, here she was, again, confessing an even greater transgression as an act of foreplay.

My mind reeled. I was shocked that she had done this, and gone with it. Somewhere in my head, the sadness just never emerged. Mina and I have made mistakes in this area, and learning about it had always inflicted a mix of things, but most of all, it was a just a powerful sadness that tinged to disappointment. Here, though, it was shock, but then…what? I couldn’t find an emotion. But I felt a surge of electricity from my cock with her mouth on it. With that, I gave the issue a mental shrug, and relaxed into a happy cloud of arousal.

Sensing the relaxation, the moment changed from confession, to dialogue, to creed. There in the bed as our foreplay was raging with fury, I was bound to a bed, our voices almost angry with intensity. Her body carried my cunt, and mine carried her cock. Others may get to fuck it, but it’s always her cock. I may let others taste the pleasure I own, but I always own it. Finally, she mounted me. We began grinding on each other. She dismounted, sucked my cock some more, then held hips just in front of my face. After some teasing, she afford me a few licks before mounting me again. She writhed on me some more before pulling off again, this time feeding me her nipples to bite between her own play with my erection. Every one of her moves she narrated for me. “Yeah, bite that one. Now the other one.” Mina was in charge, and her sex was driving her thoughts, and her words.

As she settled back onto my cock a third time, she cradled my face and looked down at me, her hair draping around us. “Do you want to come?” I smiled. I was enjoying the contact just too much.

“Eventually.” Her face broke out into an even more wicked grin and she continued to thrash about on my body. We were suspended in that amazing moment of intercourse where you are simply enjoying each other’s bodies, more than clawing your way to a climax. We fucked like this for a long time, challenging each other with our respective ownership of the other’s body. I could feel the changes inside her body, her muscles hardening as she began to swell inside from the excessive stimulation. I started groaning uncontrollably as the knowledge that she was wearing herself out on me hit began lighting synapses in my brain. I started groaning, and she greedily continued to ride me until she saw my face break into the beginning of the orgasm. She grinned and giggled as she could feel the pulses shooting inside her. She happily took it in, and began moving again slowly, but my engorged cock was far to sensitive to handle her movements.

Mina, seeing my discomfort, or perhaps driven by her own desires, gently pulled off of me and then leaned over again. She decided that she wanted me to make her come orally. She added, with a smile, “because I want to come and you’re really good at it.” I had some pride spilling out of me when she said that. She leaned over and began releasing me from the restraints. With my wrists freed, I sat up, slightly confused at the sensation of my newfound freedom. I turned over as she adjusted to lay on the bed and give me access to her-no, MY-cunt. I slid down and began licking her clit, happy to find that familiar feeling of her body under my tongue. I slipped two fingers inside her and feel how amazingly heated and swollen my cunt had become. Her muscles were already tight, and she was very close to orgasm already. I pressed against her hip bone, and her moan came out a sharp cry, almost painful, and I felt her muscles relax. Hmmm, that’s not the right move. I left my fingers relaxed inside her as my tongue did its well-practiced moves on her clit. Her moans began building and I could feel her body tighten on me. She swung upward, and rode the arc to its apogee, her body bursting into fireworks of orgasm. As the orgasm peak passed, her moans began to break into sobs, as her body released both energy and emotion. I slid up and cradled her under me as her body shuddered, and the sobbing sounds slowly died away. Eventually she was calm, and I rolled off, holding her.

—

The next morning, we talked a bit. You can say a lot of things in the heat of the sexual moment that you don’t necessarily mean when the highs of alcohol, adrenaline, endorphins, and simple emotion have worn off. Was I still okay with her playing on her webcam? Yes. Was she okay with it? Sure, since she can keep herself anonymous. What about me? What about you? Are you going to be okay when I start getting my flirt on with women and bringing that out in bed? Yeah, I’m fine. What about phone sex (since I’m at work during the day, and can’t exactly give shows)? That’s okay, too. Anything non-physical is definitely okay. Anything physical we need to talk about beforehand.

So, as far as the online/telephone world goes…it appears to be open season. Since these flirtations are adding to our relationship, it serves us well to work with it.

—

There is another matter. In the heat of the sex, and the afterglow, we happened upon an idea for a contest. For an absolutely epic, no-way-to-top-it blog contest. We brought it up again on Sunday, and we are both still excited about it. I am putting the details together, but soon we will be raising the curtain on the best blog contest EVER. Please check by for the announcements.

Happy Birthday to my wonderful husband Sylvanus. All you lovely ladies out there, feel free to send him some very special birthday messages with pictures if you like *wink*  He would love every special message in his email “bishop.sylvanus” at gmail.

***Thank you Madeline and Fleshbot for Fleshbotting this post!***

first, we talk….

Time is rough on relationships. The more time spent together, the more things become normal and usual. The rush of new discoveries, new bodies and new minds tends to fade as you begin learning every possible aspect of each other. Lately, Sylvanus and I have had a push and pull. Things have been off balance.

Last night, Sylvanus and I started talking. We seem to have our most open and honest conversations at night while in bed together. The topics of threesomes and foursomes came up. He was trying to figure out where I stood in all of it. He was beginning to feel that he was making things happen and dragging me along. He asked if I wanted more to happen. Wanted to know more if I wanted to see Vic again.

I confessed to not knowing how to answer that. You see… I’m a happily married woman… how do I confess to absolutely wanting to fuck another man? I shouldn’t be so thrilled or excited about it. That hurts feelings right? I mean, I’m still getting used to the idea that Sylvanus wants to share me with others. Is what I’m doing really ok? Doesn’t that make me greedy to be indulging in such activities, when we have not found another girl to make a FMF threesome?

What happened next truly opened my eyes and my heart….

Sylvanus began explaining to me that he is not indulging me. He is not simply going along with this and stomaching the results. He told me how much he LOVES watching me with another man. He likes my mouth on his cock while I am getting railed by another man from behind. He loves making me suck another man’s cock. What can I say? I love it too. And before last night, I wasn’t able to truly express that. I thought it was greedy and wrong of me, but Sylvanus is ordering me to be greedy. He wants me to be happy. He has noticed that fulfilling my wishes has only improved our life together.

He even went so far as to express he would love to send me off with another man for an overnight stay… even Vic if he would like. However, Sylvanus would not enjoy being home twiddling his thumbs. Naturally, he would also like to indulge in his own night. I can’t blame him. I know I wouldn’t want to sit at home wondering what he is up to. I’d rather be occupied myself.

So this brings me to the next part… finding a woman for Sylvanus (and me). Ok before you go saying.. “mina you can’t be ok with giving sylvanus a woman just because you want a night out with another man.” just stop right there. That’s not what this is about. Just the way this post is coming together. I want to give Sylvanus exactly the same that he gives me. *I* won’t feel things are fair until I do this for him. Even though he insists he would be just as happy if I never am ok, I am not ok with not giving him this. That’s my own opinion.

After hearing Sylvanus open up his heart and express how deeply he wants all these things for me, it made a shift happen within me. I admit that it has been hard imagining letting another woman have her way with Sylvanus and he with another woman. I admit to feeling a tinge of jealousy. After our talk though, I am seeing a change occur. He loves me… ME. He married me… ME. Even if he indulges in the pleasures of another woman, it does not mean that he thinks her pleasures are better than mine. How do I know this? Even though I have very much enjoyed my time with Vic (and found it pleasurable) , I still adore being with my husband more.  I think deep down, I am afraid to see him enjoy another woman more than me. I’ll admit it. I think that’s what is holding me back. But, suddenly, that doesn’t seem to matter any more. It’s impossible. Sure he can enjoy the newness of a body and an experience, but in the end, it’s me he loves and me he stays with, and me he’s going to fuck silly when she walks out the door. My only requirement, is that she be bisexual. I want to be able to have fun with her too, but she can have her time with him as well.

Before drifting off to sleep, I confessed to Sylvanus that it would be so much better if Vic, he and I all became really good friends. More so, that it would be beneficial if he and Vic started talking a lot more. With a wicked grin, I told him, I liked the thought of the two of them ganging up and having their way with me. Of being restrained with the under-the-bed-restraints and having each of them doing… whatever they wished. Sylvanus grabbed my hand and shoved it underneath the sheets where it was met by his hard erection. “If there was any doubt to how much I really enjoy seeing you with another man..look what happened just at the thought of you being restrained and the two of us using you!”

My hand lingered on his erection, gently running my fingertips up and down, caressing the head. Until I finally said, “It would be a shame to let such an erection go to waste.” He agreed. I said that I knew just where to put it.

then, we fuck…

With my face to the pillow, I raise my hips, getting on my knees, pushing my ass out and opening my legs. I moan and purr as I feel his hand run up my thigh and between my legs. His fingers caress my pussy lips and I moan loudly. His fingers tease the wetness and I hungrily push into him. His finger plunges into me and I lose all control. I am a bitch in heat. My moans grow louder and I pant. You can hear the sexual desire growling from my throat. He fucks me hard with his fingers, making me hunger for even more.

He moves behind me and I become and absolute whore. “yes yes yes,” I moan as I feel him behind me. His hand guides his cock head to my wet cunt and I want it badly. I push into him as he pushes into me. He breaks the resistance and I feel his cock embraced within my folds. I groan loudly as he begins fucking me. I hear the slapping of skin against skin. My mind becomes crazy with the desire of feeling his hard cock within me. I lose myself and the filth spills forth. “Fuck me hard.” I repeat myself over and over. “Yes, like that. Come on baby. Fuck me. Fuck your cunt. Fuck your whore.” He groans. “Yeah. that’s right, fuck your whore. Fucking cum inside my pussy. I want you to cum.” With a loud groan I feel him push into me and the hard pulsations massage my muscles as he spills his seed within me. Panting, he slowly pulls away. My hips begin grinding and my moans become aching purrs.

He releases me and moves beside me. I am hungry. I need to cum. My hips grind in the air, my clit barely brushing the sheets below. I am so sensitive I felt I could cum. Sylvanus slides his hand between my thighs and I feel his finger rest against my clit. I fucked him. I ground my clit against his finger. I felt the pleasure build and lessen. Over and over it felt fantastic and then it would fade. Until, finally the torrent of pleasure hit me and I ground hard against his finger and brought myself to orgasm. I screamed out my pleasure as I felt the rhythmic clamping of my muscles. Panting, I relax into the bed as Sylvanus slides his hand away.

“yeah all of that. Let’s make that happen.” *sigh*

*** Thank you Lapis for flattering us. ****

A little bit of drapery enhances any room. Or person.

I just figured with my birthday on Friday, we should let everyone see my birthday suit. HHNT

—-

HNT Gallery 2009

There are challenges to being Mina and Sylvanus. One of them is the difference in our energy patterns. For me, I wake up, and after a minute to figure out where I am, I am enjoying a moment of peace with the world. In that calm, there is always a welling up of sexual energy as my mind finds fantasies. Inevitably, morning wood rises soon, and I am picturing Mina in various positions of debauchery, often getting drenched in my fluid, or contorted into some uncomfortable position where I find a way to be inside her. Of course, Mina is actually sound asleep at this point.

Now, I should say that Mina has always been clear. In this situation, I should wake her up and fuck her. Not necessarily in that exact order. Like many women, she likes the idea of getting woken up to be fucked. Of course, it’s not the only way she wants to get fucked. And, if you’re in my shoes, it’s hard to look at a peacefully sleeping wife and decide to interrupt her for your own selfish desires. So, mornings are often some sort of compromise. Lately, she’s been watching me masturbate. I have tried to do it once or twice without demanding her attention, but she always rolls over to watch. But that’s our morning.

Mina then gets to sleep later, and during the day finds her flirtatious energy. Of course, at this point, I am neck deep in a job that seems to always demand every last bit of attention I can give it. So, the world of Twitter and chat gets set ablaze with her energy. Then, when I get home, I am usually exhausted and beaten, so my arrival at home tends to be quiet as I am finding a moment to be at peace while I regroup. I often go straight to the kitchen and start cooking dinner as a way to find my mental center. Mina is always attentive and generous, and is amazingly understanding. We normally eat dinner, and watch TV as our energy winds down for the day, and normally go to bed ready to fall asleep.

What it means, though, is that neither one of us really has that energy surging forward at the same time. When we were first together, and we simply had more energy than we could possibly burn, it was one thing. But now, it’s a challenge. We are having to make time, or find a way to shift our schedules. Of course, we make it work. Mina’s submission is a wonderful thing in this regard.

But, another thing that I’ve discovered with our explorations with others, is that it often leads to explosions of energy. It’s what the swinging community calls NRE – New Relationship Energy. It’s great stuff, and we have had fits of incredible sex in the days and hours surrounding our encounters with others. as much as I enjoy the newness of our open experiences, what I love more is the days of energy that surround it. I still get incredibly bothered thinking of Mina sitting in my lap, leaning forward to kiss Vic, and then leaning back, her hair across her face to kiss me, and then getting it from me and Vic from both ends. I still love remembering her sucking Don’s cock, and watching Vic’s face as she sucked his. These memories bring surges of energy back. The difference between my flashbacks and the actual experiences is that the flashbacks are usually things I have on my own.

Of course, we are also in a moment of suspension, as my job prospects, and the possible changes they represent, are up in the air, and the holidays are coming. So, it’s hard for us to really step out and commit ourselves when we don’t know what our future holds. At the same time, I have never been one to sacrifice the present…but I haven’t quite had that verve to really throw myself into it. Even now, as I think about this post, I can’t escape feeling that there was something missing from this. Tonight, Mina and I have spent probably too much of our evening on our separate laptops, me struggling with this post. Somehow, things are just that little bit out of sync. That said, I am looking forward intensely to my birthday Friday. I know that Mina has a wonderful evening planned, and I am looking forward to every minute of it. Time together always brings good things.

Rori of Between my Sheets, has put together a list of Top 100 Sex Bloggers of 2009, with the help of a few blogging volunteers. When the 2008 list came out last year, Sylvanus and I did not make it. However, this year, we are honored to be part of the list!

So please… go on and check out the list and leave a comment. Make yourself known if you want to be considered for next years list!

It’s here. Finally. I promised it earlier, I know. Life got in the way (I’ll talk about it in my next post). That, and I had well over 150 unique nominations this year, counting all the comments and the nominations I received via email. Last year, I didn’t get nearly as many, and a good number of the nominations were my own.

I first compiled this list last year as a way to recognize the people who are courageous enough to put their lives or fantasies or opinions (or all three and more) out there to entertain and inspire the rest of us. I also hoped that this would bring new readers to every blogger on the list, and I had hoped that it would be an icebreaker way for bloggers to get to know one another. It was a smashing success, so I decided to make it an annal event.

This year, I had a number of other sex bloggers and readers help me with the judging. Special thanks to:

• Lilly (from This Could be Dangerous)
• Nadia West (from Diary of a Kinky Librarian)
• SSS and ♀ (from Sweat Shop Sissy)
• Mischief (from The Sexual Buzz)
• Vixen (from Secrets of a Blue-Eyed Vixen and Tits for Troops)
• Amber (from Scarlet’s Letter)
• Miss KissThis (from Miss KissThis)
• DeDe the Deviant Dyke (from Deviant Dyke)
• Monica
• Sara
• Sarah
• Sera (from Letters from a Seraglio)
• Sexy @ Forty (from Sexy @ Forty)

If you helped me and I missed your name or linked your incorrectly, PLEASE email me so I can fix it. For example else, you can say “thanks for the list” by visiting all of these websites and getting to know these wonderful men and women.

At the end of the day, even with the help of all the other judges, there were still ties or moments when I just felt like a certain blogger was being judged too harshly. This is still my list, still my opinion. So if you have beef, take it up with me, not with any of the other judges.

And now, without further ado, the Top 100 Sex Bloggers of 2009:

1. Coquitten (website)
2. Alexa (website)
3. AAG (website)
4. Bad, Bad Girl (website)
5. TBK (website)
6. Mistress Matisse (website)
7. Miss Mia (website)
8. Thursday’s Child (website)
9. Roger (website)
10. Sinclair (website)
11. Sylvanus…
12. and Mina (website)
13. Natt Nightly (website)
14. Jake (website)
15. Lyn (website)
16. Adriana Ravenlust (website)
17. Sexy Sadie (website)
18. Shay (website)
19. Lilly (website)
20. Nadia (website)
21. Joan Price (website)
22. Madison (website)
23. Anal Amy (website)
24. Z (website)
25. Essin Em (website)
26. Easily Aroused (website)
27. Blacksilk (website)
28. Sleeping Dreamer (website)
29. Melen…
30. and rayne…
31. and Master KKT…
32. and cinnamon (website)
33. That Toy Chick (website)
34. Red (website)
35. Tom Allen (website)
36. Vix (website)
37. Coy Pink (website)
38. Lady Pandorah (website)
39. BackseatBoohoo (website)
40. Epiphora (website)
41. Aurore (website)
42. Miss KissThis (website)
43. Storm (website)
44. Ron Jazz (website)
45. Josie Jacobs (website)
46. Distracted (website)
47. Deviant Dyke (website)
48. Joanna Cake (website)
49. Sapphire Jay (website)
50. Sarah (website)
51. Kimberly (website)
52. Duchess (website)
53. Figleaf (website)
54. The Caged Songbird (website)
55. Kaya (website)
56. Ms. Justine (website)
57. Luka (website)
58. Ang (website)
59. Perverted Negress (website)
60. Harlot (website)
61. Vixen (website)
62. Anakan…
63. and Padme (website)
64. Wilhemina (website)
65. Axe (website)
66. Amber (website)
67. Lucy Vonne (website)
68. Rogue (website)
69. SSS (website)
70. Kyle (website)
71. Amorous Rocker (website)
72. Sera (website)
73. Lolita Wolf (website)
74. Elle (website)
75. Scarlet St Syr (website)
76. Charlotte Thorpe (website)
77. An Unassuming Girl (website)
78. Maymay (website)
79. True Pleasure (website)
80. Bad Influence Girl (website)
81. Diva (website)
82. Raven Quince (website)
83. Autumn (website)
84. Vanilla Impaired (website)
85. Wil (website)
86. Robin (website)
87. Panthera Pardus (website)
88. Ell (website)
89. Miss Communication…
90. and Captain Pants…
91. and A.E. (website)
92. Roxy (website)
93. Secretly Naughty (website)
94. Abby Williams (website)
95. Subheart (website)
96. Sequoia Redd (website)
97. Innocent Loveboy (website)
98. Liljgrrl…
99. and Nawa*G (website)

YOU! As always that last person on the list is you. Please, please, please leave a comment below promoting your own blog (or the blog of someone you love). Links are welcome, as long as they lead us to a sex-related blog, not a retail website or porn aggregation site.

So what are you waiting for! Visit the list to see how you can be included next year (if you weren’t this year) and learn how your fellow bloggers made it on the list this year! While you’re there.. be sure to leave a comment and check out some of these great blogs!

xo mina