As you can gather, my wonderful affair with TC, has come to an end. Getting to this conclusion has been a bumpy, emotional road that in the end, had me in knots. What happened? TC acquired a girlfriend around New Years. What didn’t happen? He didn’t tell me. So as I made my plans to go to London for Eroticon in March, I made them including him in them. I was staying a full extra day, just so he and I could spend a whole day and night together. Unbeknownst to him, I had a company send me a pair of nipple clamps for review, with the intention to use with him. Even as I was making plans and then booked my tickets and hotel room accordingly, the news of him having a girlfriend never came out. Until a little over a week ago.
That’s pretty much when things came tumbling down. I was upset with him for having kept this information from me, even as I booked my tickets. He was upset with me for even saying I would have not made these arrangements in the first place, had I known. I left it up to him to decide whether or not he still wanted to see me. I’m not going to judge someone if they want to step out on their partner, but as time grew into a week, and four of those days he never said one word to me, I finally reached my breaking point and made the decision for both of us. No, we will not be seeing each other in March.
I’m not thrilled about this decision. Yes, it is the right one, morally. It is the right one for me. I found myself unable to sleep at nights. I was awake the other morning at 5 and I was thinking about this. This situation began eating me up. I started to hate myself. I started feeling ashamed at myself and like I was disrespecting myself. I couldn’t go on. So I had to put a stop to things.
I’m torn. I really am. I REALLY REALLY want to see him. I do. I’m not going to lie. I love fucking this man. We have awesome chemistry together and when I think about the sex we have had, fuck, I just want more of that x 100. But I had to put a stop to this emotional pit I was in. I had to stop things from turning so sour, we could never be friends again. I don’t want that. I want us to remain as friends and who knows, one day, he may find himself single again and we can pick up where we left off? Or maybe, this girl will be “the one”, and he’ll be thankful he didn’t walk down that unfaithful line at the beginning?
So I guess, as far as seeing TC goes, things are, at the very least, at a pause, if not permanently over. At least, maybe now, I can sleep at night.
© At Longings End
I normally don’t like to comment on your posts as it squelches conversation, but we’ve talked about this a lot, and an important rule needs to come up:
If something about you might change whether I want to see you, I have a right to know, and you have a duty to tell me.
Two things bug me in this. First, he didn’t tell you before you committed money to the plan. Second, you had to ask him to get this data. I hate, hate, HATE the guessing game.
TC is a nice guy, and really too nice. These are all the sort mistakes a nice person makes. But sometimes, thing just need to be a certain way. And I hope they get there – I really do.
Mina,
I have to admit that I was wondering what happened to him as I haven’t seen you tweet about him.
I’m sorry that you are hurting and that you came into a situation like this.
But as you said. You had to make a decision which was right for you, even if it hurts. You are the one who has to live with it.
I hope that you two can stay friends and you’ll be able to sleep again.
Hugs,
Lilly
Aww Mina I am sorry this relationship has come to end for you. I guess people make their choices and as a result you have to make decisions based on their actions and words in order to be true to yourself and happy. I hope the healing stage is quick and as you say who knows what the future may hold for the two of you.
Mollyxxx
Just yesterday I wondered about you and TC and this morning before I could ask, I had my answer. And I am so sorry to read this, that you are hurting again, sweet Mina! I know you will get through this. Allow yourself the time to hurt and who knows what might be waiting for you down the road.
Rebel xox
I am glad that you made a decision that will not eat away at you, as painful as it may be. Guilt is a hard burden to bear. I hope you sleep better at night, and that you get through this with grace and the ability to do what is in your best interest. It sucks that he couldn’t be forthcoming with you, especially consider the money, time, and commitment that you made. I’m sorry.
I’m so sorry to hear that Mina.
I always hate the lying and hiding game. Lying by omission is still lying. It disrespects all involved.
I hope your journey takes a smoother path in future :)
xx Fae
Really sorry to read this; sounds like it all just happened far too awkwardly. And I completely agree with your lovely husband: these are the mistakes nice people make. It is tough in that period where you’ve met someone new, but you don’t quite want to put all your eggs in one basket, but you don’t want to cheat… it can be tricky dealing with the other people in your life. But when it comes down to it, you need to be honest. Because no one deserves to sit around waiting for and wondering about your decisions. Sounds like TC just handled it badly. And I really love and respect your decision to end it now so that you can still be friends later. That strikes me as a very reasoned and sensible approach.
I hope you’re okay; sending you love and happy thoughts.
[...] I wrote about yesterday, TC and I are no more. At least for now. I really don’t know what the future will bring. So far, we have remained [...]
I’m so sorry this had to happen. I’m sure you made the right call, but it can’t have been easy.
Here’s hoping things go better for you next time, and that you heal quickly.
That this has caused you distress, my heart goes out to you. But it seems that a reasoned decision has been made, I hope that you can find some peace of sorts.
Warm wishes,
LadyP x
Big hugs to you. This is more hassle than you deserve, but I agree with your logic and think that you have done the right thing. He should have communicated to you that he had met someone, you’re not psychic after all! xxx