It’s morning and I slumber underneath the warmth of the duvet. As usual, I am nude and sleeping on my stomach. A hand lifts my hips very gently and I begin to wake as three fingers enter me, spreading my folds. A few thrusts and I awake fully, the room dark from the black out curtain. He joins me in the bed, telling me he loves me and I smile lightly knowing it must be my husband. But as he embraces me, I realize, it is not my husband. I am embracing C. This can’t be. How did he get into the apartment? Sure the apartment remains unlocked when my husband leaves for work, but how did C get into the building? “Through a window,” he smiles at me. That charming, boyish smile that tells me, the formalities are not needed. What matters most is that he is here. I still can’t believe it and I tell him this. “Surely, this is just a dream. It must be just a dream. You aren’t really here.” I need this to be real. I won’t be able to handle the reality of waking up from a dream. Please, don’t let this be a dream.
“I am no dream,” he smiles. “Look, I am here. Do you not recognize that it is me? Do you not see that I am here with you?”
I look at him closely. It is him and yet it doesn’t look like him. I haven’t seem him in almost 3 months. I know he has been overworked and at one point, severely ill, but could it have caused him to look so thin? I assume he has come to talk about our breakup. I am aware I have just woken up and likely suffering from terrible morning breath. I go into the bathroom, brushing my teeth. I can’t wait to talk to him. He follows me into the restroom, using the toilet as I am standing there brushing my teeth. It’s the longest I have ever spent brushing my teeth. I can’t believe he is here. I can’t believe he has come to me.
I never got to talk to him.
I wake before I have the chance.
© At Longings End
Its your mind playing tricks i know how it is for you and my heart goes out to you it will get better as time goes by i am thinking of you always
This post breaks my heart.
Awww! I’m sorry! HUGS!!!!!!!!!!!
Hugs Mina, I’m sorry that things have ended this way but remember this too shall pass – it may be slow in passing but I’ve been there and I know it does eventually pass. It may take a while and that’s ok but it will pass. And in my case when it did I was better for having gone through it.
It’s always good to remember that there are people in your life who love you.
[...] I simply could not get past the pain of never seeing him again. And then, yesterday morning I had that dream. I don’t know why, but somehow, that dream actually brought me peace, when normally, I would [...]