desperate swisswives

I think I have officially reached my limit here. I am bored with this country. Seems pretty harsh to say. Most people would say, “What the fuck, Mina? You live in the middle of Europe! It’s a dream come true!” This is true and trust me, we plan on taking advantage of this as much as we can while we are living here. But you do know that visiting places around Europe costs money and time. We can’t run off to Rome or Madrid whenever we just feel like it. Sylvanus has a job for one, we have pets for the second, and the third, things cost money. 

What I am mainly talking about is my day to day life here. You don’t realize how much the simple things in life really make you happy, until you don’t have them anymore. Like, for instance, enjoying the company of friends over a bottle of wine and a delicious dinner. This doesn’t happen anymore for me. Why? I don’t have friends here. Simply being able to read the local paper and see if anything interesting is happening in the area. Being able to work a job to pass the time and earn some money. 

I’m finally breaking down and admitting that this is hard. When I moved from the home I knew for 31 years as sunny California, to a snow covered Rochester, NY, yeah it was rough. It was hard leaving behind my mom and friends and moving to a place and not knowing anyone and having to adjust to new weather conditions. (Fuck it snowed a lot there). But the one thing that was on my side, was everyone still spoke English there. So yeah, I had to eventually suck it up and start making a life for myself there. I became friends with some of Sylvanus’s coworkers, joined the company soft ball team, joined a gym, and finally began volunteering in my career field in the hopes of being hired. Once I started volunteering, things honestly started to get a whole lot better. And then we moved. 

We moved to Switzerland. Ironic since I am Swiss. However, I am from the French speaking region. We moved to the German speaking region. At first, it wasn’t so bad. I didn’t mind my quiet little life. I didn’t mind not being able to really communicate with other people. When I did need to communicate, it seemed a lot of people spoke English. I enjoyed my new hobby of going hiking in the forest, that is our backyard, with the dog. On weekends, Sylvanus and I would get in the car with the pup and explore new regions of this country or the boarders of another. But you know, as beautiful and as awesome as that is, going out and pointing at things, does get boring too. 

Next week, I start German classes and I am excited for two reasons. 1) I’ll meet other people who speak English and maybe make a few new friends. 2) Once I do learn German a whole new world may open up for me here. Like making new friends and getting a job. As much as I like to tell myself I can get by with just my English (and I have met people who have lived here for 2 years and have barely learned any German), I can’t. Sure, a whole lot of people here surprisingly speak English, but they would much rather speak German. My husband also, can’t translate for me all the time either. It gets tiring having to translate entire conversations. 

Meeting Master C has brought a large amount of happiness to me here, but it simply can’t fulfill me. He’s busy now, with many career responsibilities and interests. They take up a lot of his time. So as much as I would like him to be a bigger part of my life, it’s not possible right now. 

Sylvanus and I recently went to a polyamory group social. There is a Swiss Polyamory Group here. They don’t have a website, but function as a mailing list. I really can’t tell you what goes on because they conduct everything in German and frown upon any other language being used. So, I have not joined the mailing list, but Sylvanus has. He mentioned they were having a social event and asked if I would like to go. At this point, I don’t care if people are speaking German, I just wanted to get out of the apartment and meet people. I knew that many of them would be able to speak English. We went to the event and many people did speak English. However, since this was a social event, everyone socialized in German. Occasionally, someone would speak in English to include me in a conversation or to ask me questions, but really the majority of the evening was in German. After the dinner and socializing, came a discussion roundtable. Everyone sat in a circle with their chairs and first introduced themselves and what their life situation is. Sylvanus did his best to translate for me. After that, came an open discussion round on all things polyamory. Again, Sylvanus did his best to translate for me. I wanted to participate, but my not speaking German just made me keep my mouth shut. All in all though, I didn’t think it was a complete waste of my time. I really do hope to make new friends through this group and yes by friends I do mean, FRIENDS. I do know, however, that if I don’t learn German, I will forever be excluded in this region of the country. 

Wish me luck!

P.S. I want this shirt : 

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© At Longings End 2011