training in the forest

I woke up to this message:

Good morning my little puppy. Today, we are going to have a special training. Today, our training will commence while you are on your hike.

Not only did I receive such a forward message first thing this morning, but I also received a gift from Master as well. He sent me a photo of his hard cock. It is the first time I have ever seen it and from what I can see in the photo, I am one lucky girl. I finally see what his cock looks like and can imagine it choking me as it slides down my throat.

I leave the apartment a very happy girl and send Master a message that I have started my hike into the forest with my dog. After spending some time in the forest, I was beginning to think I wasn’t going to hear from Master (understandable since he is working) but then my phone chimes.

Your training will be an unusual one. Walk in the forest and find yourself a nice spot where you can see people walk by, but they can’t see you right away.

I take this in, already scanning the forest for a good spot.

Your task this morning is to orgasm before you return home.

Oh my! I am a lucky girl. My Master lets me orgasm a lot, but… oh my.. I will have to do it in the forest! There are bugs and ticks out there! Besides that, I have my dog with me. I’m already self conscious about touching myself while my dog is around. But, this is what Master desires. So I scan the forest.

I find a spot, just off the main path. There are some trees to lean against and plenty of raised vegetation. What Master didn’t know (but does after reading this) is not only was I somewhat hidden from the main road, but I was very well exposed to a path that lead up farther into the forest. Anyone on that path would see me clearly. I decided to take my chances that anyone coming by would be taking the lazy, main road. I tell Master I have found my spot and I take a picture for him.

Immediately I am surrounded by all kinds of flies and I’m thinking that both my dog and I will be picking off some ticks after it’s all done. Master tells me to massage my breasts but to not be gentle with myself. He tells me to twist my nipples and I comply. He then tells me to slap and hit my tits over my shirt. This is where I tell Master I hesitate to perform his task. Not because I think I can’t do it or someone will hear, but because my dog is with me. She is very sensitive to violence. At home, if my husband spanks me (or we have sex), she leaves the room. Out in the forest with me though, I have to keep her with me and she can’t leave. Master is kind and understanding and decides to let those orders go.

At this point, the flies are so much, I decide that I have managed to pick a very bad spot to sit in, so I move a bit farther and find another place. It does seem to be better, however, mosquitoes seem to be all around!

Touch my cunt through your pants

I begin rubbing his cunt through my jeans. Someone runs by on the main road, they don’t even glance my way. The mosquitoes can’t seem to leave me alone and I am beginning to get frustrated. I tell Master that the mosquitoes are getting bad.

Then we will have to be quick. Open your pants, stick your hand down and get yourself off like the good bitch you are.

I unbuckle and unzip and slide my hand down the tight confines of the jeans. I begin rubbing his cunt. It is, of course, already very wet. I begin to worry that I won’t be able to complete the task. I can’t move my hand much and I already have a hard time getting off just using my hands, but I give it a good try. I push my fingers against his cunt and rock my hips with it. I rub faster, feeling the first sparks of pleasure. I look around, worried for a moment, but then keep going.

I think about sliding my hard cock down your throat

Oh how I can’t wait for that day! I close my eyes with that delicious image in my mind and rub his cunt harder with my fingers as my hips thrust. I can feel it building now.

Holding your head in place, I ejaculate right down your throat

Oh his words are both a distraction and a pleasure. I look around one last time and tell myself, no one is coming and if they see, well they will enjoy it, because now it is past the point of no return. I close my eyes and focus on the pleasure between my thighs. My hips are really rocking now, thrusting against my hand bringing pleasure to his cunt. I feel the orgasm begin to swell and I work harder, until finally the orgasm erupts and I breath hard into the surrounding forest. I am pleased with myself. It is not easy to make an orgasm happen by hand, with restricted movement, knowing your dog is just sitting behind you and while mosquitoes are buzzing around you, but I did it. I did it for Master and I am so proud!

Master is proud too and tells me I can go home. My hands smell of his cunt and they still tremble as I text him “Thank you”.

training with sticks

It started with a text after having told Master I was hiking with the dog in the forest.

If you are a good puppy, you bring home a nice, slender twig from your hike.

I get instantly wet. The fact that he calls me his puppy or his bitch often makes me wet. Knowing that I need to collect a stick for him and that it will be used later, excites me. I find a suitable specimen along my hike, but it wasn’t till I was almost back home that I found a better stick and also a thicker one. I took both pieces of wood home with me. I sent a picture to Master and stored the sticks in the bedroom. He is busy in meetings and will have to get back to me later in the day.

The hours slowly tick and I grow anxious. I get wet and aroused knowing he will soon summon me and I will finally get to use my sticks. Just when I can’t take it anymore, I get a message.

How is my puppy? Still wet with excitement?

Oh thank goodness! I tell him yes and that I had been thinking about him. I was starting to get “pouty” and aching for his attention.

I like my bitch to be aching for attention. Loose your clothes, grab the twigs and kneel on the floor.

My heart skips a beat and I run to the bedroom where I had left the sticks. My clothes come off in a flash and I am on my knees, pulling the sticks from underneath the bed. I am ready for his bidding.

Lay the twigs in front of  you. Look at them. See the material and how they grew. Pick up the smaller one and caress your body with it. Tell me how it feels against your skin.

The stick is smooth, yet rough in certain places. It feels cool against my skin.

Lick it up and down

This is where I have to pause and take a moment. What? I need to run my tongue over a stick, from the forest? It’s dirty. Sure I thought about sending him a pic with it in my mouth like a good puppy after bringing it home, but run my tongue over it? I do it anyways, running my tongue up the stem. My tongue dries from the wood. It tastes like…. well… it tastes like a stick.

Spread your legs still kneeling on the ground and touch my cunt with the twig.

How easily he calls my cunt his.

Rub it against your clit and cunt lips. At least every 5 seconds I want you to strike my cunt with it. Lightly at first. Increase the intensity with each stroke.

I love the feel of the wood against me. I love the feel of it striking his cunt. It makes me wet.

Does my bitch enjoy the treatment?

Very much Master.

Keep hitting my dirty cunt while you lean backwards a little exposing it a little more

I had actually been doing that. It’s very difficult, being as short as I am, to kneel on the floor upright and strike his cunt. There isn’t enough space between the floor and his cunt to allow it. So I lean back, using my free hand to keep me steady as I strike his cunt even harder. I don’t rub it very much any longer. I enjoy smacking it more. I confess this to Master.

That’s exactly why you are my dirty bitch. Hit the clit 5 times hard.

I do so and send him a pic to show my efforts. He is very pleased and this makes me happy. I thank him.

Would you say you get aroused by hitting my cunt?

Oh very much! I do! I was aroused the second that text message came to me in the forest telling me to bring home a thin twig. I didn’t even know how it would be used, but I was excited and aroused.

That is very sweet. Grab one of your tits and smack it hard with the twig. I want you to mark yourself with the first hit right away.

I steady myself and take a deep breath. I actually missed the first hit and gave the second one a better go at it. At first I thought I didn’t hit hard enough and told Master so. Only as I was telling him, I saw my marks bloom in front of my eyes. I was delighted to see the red lines rise on my tit. We are both delighted in the joy I find from my marks. I love them because they are his. He tells me to add 5 more hits and I show him the results.

Now for the acquired taste: get up and lay on your bed. Lay on your back and don’t forget the twig. Spread your legs and pull them as far towards your head as possible, exposing my cunt and anus. Can you guess what’s coming next?

I actually could not guess. I knew it would involve the stick, but I had no idea if Master would actually tell me to fuck myself with the stick or continue with the hits.

Hit my cunt for 30 seconds really hard. One hit per second. Afterwards, stroke your clit, using your juices. Once you get really aroused, stop and hit your anus with the twig 3 times. LIGHTLY.

I do so and love the feel of the pleasure mixed with the sharp stings.

Play with my cunt, bring yourself close to orgasm and then stop.

I do and it doesn’t take very long.

Slap my cunt 5 times very hard.

Yes Master.

Bring yourself close.

Close Master.

5 hits

Yes Master.

Bring yourself close.

Each time takes me less and less time to achieve the edge of orgasm.

10 hits.

10 sharp hits to his cunt and it feels so good.

Bring yourself close, this time pull at your nipples as well. 

So close and so fast.

15 hits.

More and more pain brings pleasure.

Build up and this time I want you to squeeze one of your breasts as hard as you can. Pull your nipple and twist it. Connect the pain with the pleasure.

Oh the pain has already been connected with the pleasure. The harder I pull at my nipples the closer I get to orgasm.

Keep squeezing your breast and hit my cunt 15 times again.

Oh such sweet torture. How I love serving Master in ways I have never served before!

Then another build up and then I want you, my bitch, to spread your legs wide, grab the twig and hit your clit as hard as you can 20 times. Make sure you hit the clit. Then build up.

This task proves to be harder. It is very hard to expose my clit for such a beating. But I do so. I know I struck myself more than 20 times, but it wasn’t always on my clit, so I kept going till I was certain I hit my clit 20 times.

Grab your breast and release yourself. Enjoy your orgasm.

This was such a body shaddering orgasm and I felt like crying. It didn’t take long for it to erupt from my body. I thanked Master and told him I feel like I am being so greedy. He gives me so much pleasure and there is only so much I can do for him.

You are welcome my good girl. You give yourself to me and I take care of you

He does take care of me. I have waited so long to have a dominant take care of me. It feels so good and I feel so special.

I am glad you enjoy it so much… Us so much. You are worth taking care of. I enjoy your efforts very much.

What follows after is what I call “pillow talk”. After Master and I have played, we usually spend quite some time chatting about what just happened and how we feel. We can’t wait to finally meet in person. The need is growing stronger with each day. Each day I adore him more and more.

hnt~ strings

Last week, I should you some leather and buckles… I think this week I’ll show you some leather and strings.

training his cunt

For starters, show me my cunt

I take a picture and send it to him. His cunt is hairy and he makes no hesitation to point this out. Next week, it shall be waxed clean and this pleases him very much.

Spread your legs as wide as you can and touch my hairy hole. Pull on your outer lips and spread your hole wide.

God he knows how to speak to me. Touching my primal core. Both embarrassing me and arousing me. Humiliating and inspiring. I tell him I have done as he has asked.

I didn’t ask so far. I tell you, my bitch, what to do. Since you are my pain slut, you’ll enjoy the following, I’m sure. Spread your legs as wide as possible. Put your hand on my cunt. This is your target. Slap my cunt 10 times as hard as you can within 10 seconds. One strike a second. Don’t stop. Don’t hesitate. One strike per second as hard as you can bare. Do me proud.

I hesitate, just before starting. My lips purse tightly and my eyes shut tight. I take one deep breath and exhale. I deliver 10 hard slaps to his cunt. I tell him I have made him proud and send another picture of his newly slapped cunt.

That looks very nice. I believe you can take some more. We are training you after all. This time, make it 15 slaps. Each a bit harder than the last 10.

Again, I do as told. Slapping as hard as I can. This time however, a surge of arousal envelopes me. I feel my heart beating and his cunt gets wet. I even add an extra slap. He tells me I am a very good girl and asks if it stings. I tell him yes it does and that I had to grit my teeth and hold my breath through each slap. He is pleased with my willpower. I confess to him that doing these things for him, though they hurt, really arouse me. I feel the hunger coming from his cunt and I ask him if I may please have some more. He grants me my desire and says I am to have 20 slaps this time and even harder than the last. The pain slut has been unleashed and I drown in the heated stings. I tell him I wish to feel his belt.

Your thoughts go right alongside mine. Get up, walk to your husbands closet and pick out one of his belts. You can choose if wide or narrow. Show me.

I grab a belt off of the dresser and send a photo to Master. He tells me to lie back down and to rub my cunt and clit with it. This feels really good and my body tingles all over.

Keep rubbing your clit and every 10 seconds slap your cunt with the belt

I rub my clit with the belt. Running circles and counting to 10 and then using the belt to slap his cunt. Over and over I do this. Knowing I must keep going until he contacts me again. I circle and count to 10 and slap. Each time I rub my clit with the leather, I feel the arousal building. It’s interrupted by the sudden blow of the belt, resumed only by it’s tender rubbing. Finally I hear from Master and I tell him I am loving my task. That each time I rub my clit I feel like I am going to orgasm.

Perfect. You are my little pain and pleasure slut. Slap your cunt 10 times really hard with the belt and then make yourself cum with it.

I do as he says, only as I am rubbing my clit, I want more slaps. So I give myself more stings. I rub my clit furiously with the belt and then slap myself a few times with it. Over and over I do this until finally the orgasm erupts from my body and time stops as I hold my breath. I thank my Master for the orgasm and send him another pic of my freshly slapped cunt. He is very pleased and we continue to talk about things.

It is clear that things are evolving with us. Something happened yesterday and we suddenly connected even more than we already were. Today was just another day of strong connections.

Our experience yesterday has shifted my perception of you and us profoundly as well. Our dedication towards each other has become palpable. Since yesterday, I am certain that we’ll be able to explore each others’ darkest, brightest, happiest and saddest, most joyful and painful fantasies. I simple enjoy you, enjoy us…

He says it so much better than I could.

I enjoyed today’s training very much, since again, I’ve learned a world about you. Enjoy the subsiding pain. Your body slowly turns into a piece of art with all the markings we’re still to create….

*Swoon* Isn’t he just perfect? I am enjoying every moment I get to spend with him and one day.. we will be together…

training the breasts

The task starts simple enough. He asks to see my breasts. I don’t think he has really seen them before. I send DomC a picture of my breasts. He compliments my breasts and adds that “we’ll have lots of fun with them”.

Massage your ample breasts for me

I do so, allowing my hands to feel the weight of them, my fingers caressing my nipples, all the while thinking of him and how his hands would feel on them.

Now I want you to grab your nipples and twist them

I do so. Making sure to pinch them well and giving them a good tug and twist. He asks for a picture and I show him my nipple. You can see the twisting marks.

Grab your nipples again and pull them as far from your body as possible. Then pull them to the side, again, try to find your limit without crossing it

I am finding that I am enjoying this very much. I like the feel of my breasts as I grab the nipples and pull them from side to side. A flood of wetness gathers between my thighs. I let him know I am enjoying the task very much.

Perfect. Find your limit  by pulling them upwards. Hold them there and then let go. Push your chest out while doing so.

I take my nipples in my fingers and raise my breasts upwards. I let go and feel them bounce. Over and over I do this and I feel myself getting very excited. My body enjoys this greatly and my mind follows. I really, really like this.

DomC and I begin to chat a little bit. He tells me how he very much would like to see me in person. We discuss setting up video chats. Unfortunately, with my trip coming up and his schedule being full, we will probably not meet till after I get back from the states. We are lovingly calling this 2 -3 week period of time as “Epic Foreplay”. Our conversation turns to the energy between he and I. I tell him that though I am being most amiable towards him, the day will come that I will try to push his buttons and I am well aware that he will push back. “It makes the interaction much more interesting”, he says. “And the connection much deeper ultimately. By pushing back, the submissive has to take into account that the Dominant pushes even harder. Even if subconsciously, I believe a submissive pushing back, is testing both the strength of the Dominant and the strength of herself.” Our conversation slowly tapers off after that and my mind has been busy at work. He asks me if I am still pulling at my nipples and I confess that I have not been because I became too engrossed with the conversation, however that I am working up a surprise to send him. He is at this point naturally curious.

The very first aspect I noticed about you online was your very loud bark and ever since I’ve desired to hear you whimper.

At this point I had gone quiet because I was finishing up the surprise I made for him.

Was that too strong of a statement?

I smiled and replied… “No not at all. It was puuuuurrrrfect.”

Very good my little barking bitch. Grab your big tits and squeeze them  hard for your master. Make me proud.

There… right then at that moment of time, a spark had been ignited. A switch was flipped and I do believe for the both of us. Those words hit the very center of my core and turned me primal. Now my mind was enamored and my body followed. I grabbed my breasts and squeezed them between my hands. I let my nails dig into my flesh. I sent him a picture.

Squeeze and pull those mammaries of yours as hard as you can bare.

I tell him how hard I am squeezing, (and that I had emailed him his surprise).

You are a good puppy today.

Fuck, those words are driving my crazy. He asks me if I am still squeezing my tits and I am. Pressing down on them as I let my hands wrap around and squeeze.

Very good. Let go of them. Grab your left nipple and pull up. With your right hand, I want you to slap your breast. Lightly at first, then harder, until you can’t bare it anymore. You do this while I enjoy your breast massage (his surprise had been a very short video of me tugging and pulling on my breasts for him) and the very sexy moans of yours.

“Yes Master”, the words leave my fingertips easily in my state of mind. I grab my left nipple and pull on my tit. I am consumed by this task. I want to please. I begin by slapping the underside of my breast, then each side and finally the top. The top hurts the most. I keep slapping though. I need it to hurt. I want to please him. Each slap stinging me more and more. I feel the heat and see the redness erupt and then finally, I see what I was hoping for. My breasts begin to show signs of spots. Yes, I have been marked.

He finishes enjoying my gift and asks how I am doing and if my breasts have turned red yet. I tell him I have done quite well and even managed to mark myself and I send him a photo.

Very beautiful! I am very pleased my little bitch. Get on all fours and and let your breasts hang freely. With one hand, I want you to flick your nipples. Do it as hard and as long as you can bare. Show me your nipples afterward.

I get on all fours, seeing my breasts hanging down from my body. Again those primal urges scream and I do as he wants me to. I spend much time flicking my nipples and creating that stinging burn. I send him a photo.

Master is very pleased and asks if I got wet from our breast play. I told him I had and that I had even gotten very wet from him calling me his puppy and bitch. He asks me to slide a finger into my cunt and show him how wet I am. I feel truly like a bitch when I send that picture, for I am also in the middle of my monthly cycle. There I am.. all of me.

He tells me I am allowed to take a shower now and make myself orgasm. However, we spend the following hour connecting and chatting. Mostly because I had to confess a dirty thought that had popped in my mind. I shared with him that I imagined us both in the shower, I am bent over while he fucks me from behind. He pulls out, telling me to turn around and kneel before him. He jerks his cock in front of my face and then stops to piss all over me. I have never actually engaged in any sort of piss play, but I have always been curious about it and have started expressing more and more interest in it. He tells me I have chosen a good Dom that is happy to explore those curiosities with me. He then shares his own version of the fantasy and I am feeling very horny at the end of it.

We continue to talk though. I continue to share more and more pictures of my breasts as the markings start to show. Today was much needed. Today something happened. A spark was ignited. A deeper connection was made. Today I am happy. He is happy as well. We feel very close and very honored to have found each other. I wear his mark. I can feel it as I type. I am proud. He is proud and is blown away by my commitment and will. There really are no words… but this feels so good and so right. I am getting even more excited to explore this journey and relationship. I unashamedly enjoyed being his bitch and little puppy. Fuck that was hot to be told such things. He really does say all the right things.

I share with you my beautiful marks. I wear them proudly for him/ for us. 

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Enduring

Last Friday I received a “Letter of Understanding” from my employer. This detailed a lot of the conditions for my expat assignment, mostly for the benefit of HR. But, it also included the structure for how I transition to being permanently in Switzerland. This, well, made me sit back.

My life today is very very simple. I work very hard, come home, spend the evening with wife, picking off emails as they come, and then drift off. I usually spend ten or so hours at the office, plus one or two doing work stuff from home as I fend off the stuff from our US facilities. Weekends we either shop in Germany or find a point on the map I want to see and go there. Now that we have our pet passport, the dog gets to come, too.

But what we don’t have in there are friends. Mina doesn’t speak the local language, and by the end of my work day, I’m rarely interested in heading out. Since I’m the boss at the factory (and the one who did the first layoff in its history), I don’t really have any work friends, nor do I try to make any. It’s not fair to try to have a friendship with someone who doesn’t feel comfortable telling you no. It is really just us here. And that sort of thing is fine for a while, but it can’t really endure.

In some ways, I can already feel the first signs of burnout coming. I often get the desire to write fiction then. It’s my mind’s reflex for escape. I am studying recipes, looking for challenges, and looking at camera stuff. All of my creative impulses are starting to fire. I am taking my phone away, trying to control my email compulsion.

So, it starts to change now. I signed up for the French class, so I can connect with Mina’s family. I’m re-engaging on the expat boards, trying to find a spot. I begin looking for things to complete me as a human, to give me other priorities. Mina’s connection with DomC is an important step in that direction, and it’s why I’m trying not to interfere.

And, it’s why it’s time for me to go and get myself altered.

Whoa, where did that come from, right?

The other thing in our life is that Mina is no longer on the pill. Turns out you can’t get Ortho Tricyclen in Switzerland. She has felt better without it, and her sex drive has felt stronger. Of course, her weight has changed because of it and, in response, we have decided to change our diet and activity level. But the other change for the worse is the need to wear condoms with her. Of course, no one LIKES condoms, but Mina was always the one I didn’t use them with. There is something less psychologically satisfying about having that latex with one’s spouse. Since we don’t want children, that makes it simple: my procedure is outpatient.

When we get back from our trip stateside (leaving next week) it will be time for the Snip. I’m sure you will look forward to reading that. :-)

roughing up the cunt

This morning, I awoke to this message from DomC:

I want you to start this Sunday with a task of mine. If you are in bed, spread your legs as far as you can and begin playing with your outer labias. Keep your legs spread as far as you can. Spread and open your cunt for me. Bring yourself to orgasm playing with yourself, roughly treating your cunt for me. I am with you in my mind. C

Sylvanus was in the bed with me. He had fed me homemade biscuits in bed and was watching some music videos on his iPhone. I got up and went into the bathroom. I had to prepare myself, mentally. It is mentally challenging for me to perform tasks while my husband is in bed. It makes me very shy and I feel weird doing it. I get stage fright, if you will. But, I saw this as an opportunity for him to participate. He could watch me, touch me roughly, or be the one to use a toy on me to help me. Sounded like a good enough plan.

I crawled back into bed and the music had ended. I showed my husband my phone and the task on it. He passed the phone back to me. He didn’t really say anything. I told him it was going to be a hard task for me to complete on my own. He agreed. I asked him if he would like to participate. “NO, I’ll let you handle this one on your own.”

He brought up Angry Birds on his phone and began playing next to me. All I could was sit and reread my task. I was trying to build up the courage to do it. It was getting very difficult to enjoy the idea of playing with myself while my husband was busy playing a game on his phone next to me. (You can tell I masturbate plenty of times in front of him. The awe of it all is fading). He finally asked if I wanted to be left alone. I said it was difficult to do this with him playing a game next to me. So he left me in peace, leaving the bedroom door open.

I began by stroking my outer labia with my fingers. I have juicy cunt lips. They are meaty and thick. I spread my legs and let my thighs fall to the side. This spread my cunt wide open. I began pinching and pulling at my cunt lips. I tugged on them and squeezed them as hard as I could. Then came the dilemma. I am not a woman who orgasms easily. I need very specific stimulation and my clit must be involved.  I sometimes envy women who can orgasm on a drop of a hat, this was one of those times. So how was I going to achieve orgasm while being rough with my cunt and keeping myself spread?

I had to make a compromise. With my left hand, I pinched my labia and tugged and pulled at it. My right hand began working on my clit. I let my fingertips brush over the exposed clit. I decided I can still be rough with myself and bring myself to orgasm and the best way to do that was by slapping my clit. So I began slapping my clit over and over, trying not to make too much noise. (Remember, I am really self conscious about my husband). The pleasure seemed to approach and fade. Until, the dog walks into the room and jumps on the bed and lays down next to me.

*grumble*

I can’t masturbate with my dog laying next to me… that’s just gross. I can do it with her in the same room, but right next to me… ew.

So, I get the dog out of bed, throw her out of the bedroom and shut the door behind me. Back to the task at hand. I spread myself wide again and begin roughing up my cunt. I look out the window above me (we have roof top windows) and look at the clouds as they pass by. I see a rabbit. Back to the task. I begin pulling the same labia with my left hand while slapping my cunt harder with the right. Again, I feel tingles of pleasure. I stop slapping and begin rubbing my clit, trying to get the pleasure to escalate enough so that I can move back to slapping. My wrist is starting to tire. I look out the window again… A woman running away from her lover… the two of them begin to fade as a lanky troll appears on top of them.

I stop. Collecting my thoughts. I must complete this task. I spread myself once more. Pulling and tugging at my cunt lips. They are getting sore and swollen. I rub my clit, fast and hard. Feeling the pleasure build just a little. I slap my clit. I want this orgasm. I must make it mine. I look out the window … a demon’s face has appeared in the clouds above. I try and try and try. My wrist is getting tired.

I stop again. I am frustrated now. My mind and body transported to a space and time when I was like many other women out there. Self conscious of how long it takes myself to orgasm. The more I think about it, the more impossible the orgasm. Ok, I can do this. I can do this for DomC.

I spread once more, tugging at my lips, slapping my clit as hard and fast as I can. My eyes go back to watching the clouds. The face of a praying mantis staring right back at me and I sigh and I stop. It’s just not going to happen. I’ve passed the point of no return. To go any further would just frustrate me more. To stop now means I have failed in part of my task. So I accept my failure.

As I take my shower, I feel sadness. I have failed and there just was no point to keep trying. I feel a tightness in my chest. As I let the water cascade over my body, I let it wash the failure down the drain. Instead, I focus on the task I have completed. My cunt lips are sore and I can feel them even now. I know that I have played with myself as roughly as Domc would have wanted me to. So for that, I am pleased with myself.

training the anus 2

So yesterday, I wrote this post. As I was coming to the conclusion of my post, I had noticed my heart beating a little bit faster and I was feeling extremely wet. DomC, being a kind Dom, knew that this anal training could be difficult for me and he was not going to make me do it every day. However, I find that I love wearing my plugs and they are extremely comfortable. I ached to wear my plug again but stalled. I had some mixed emotions. Some of it had to do with the ending of this post. But then I realized, it was alright for me to move forward. I pondered for a moment, if I should be so bold to stuff my ass with a plug again. I decided yes I would, and I sent DomC a picture of my anus plugged, telling him how excited I was while writing about my task. I also wondered if it was ok that I had done so without his direction and/or his permission. His response was:

You are always allowed to stuff your ass with anything to train your anus

What a relief! I began playing with the plug again. I was lying on the bed, pulling the plug out and sliding it back in. I was not as gentle as I was with myself yesterday. I wanted to see just how rough I could be. Pulling and pushing thick objects in and out of my anus has always caused discomfort for me in the past, but yesterday I was so proud. It felt so good. I sent an email to DomC that had a picture of my plug half way out of my ass. It seemed I had pleased him. *smiles*

What a LOVELY picture. Very nice!

Our training yesterday proves effective :) Move the plug back and forth in your ass and play with yourself. If it is possible, bring yourself close to an orgasm. Before you release yourself, let go and don’t touch yourself any more. Get up, dress yourself and walk around inside your home, the plug still inside your dark hole. If you are really brave, you exit your home and walk around the block of your house. I know, this is a trying task, but i get the strong sense, that you are ready to try.

I did as he told. Laying on my back, I grabbed my favorite vibrator and placed it on my clit. I began fucking my ass with the plug. In and out, back and forth, I let the steel plug penetrate me over and over. I felt the orgasm approach and let go of everything. I got dressed and took a brisk walk around the apartment buildings. I never had an issue wearing my plugs. These plugs are wonderful and very comfortable. I could go on one of my 2 hour hikes through the forest wearing these plugs happily. I sent DomC a message telling him I had happily complied to his task. I also thanked him for the task.

You prove to be a very good girl once again. If you have not already done so, you are allowed to get off with your vibrator and plug inside your pretty ass.
You are welcom for the task i’ve given you today. With todays task i’ve gotten to know you much better yet again.
I am truly pleased to experience your willingness to serve me. I can tell you that my desire to feel, smell and taste you increases with every encounter we enjoy.

Of course I had not given myself an orgasm. DomC had not given me permission to and I did not think it was my decision to make while under his orders. Now that I did have his permission, I walked back into the bedroom, grabbed my vibrator once more and as I fucked my ass with the plug, I brought myself to a delicious orgasm for him. I concentrated on the feel of my anus as it contracted with my orgasm. It was an amazing feeling. I thanked DomC for my orgasm.

No no no no drama

People who follow me on Twitter notice that my profile identifies me as a misanthrope. For those whose Greek (or Latin, whichever is relevant) isn’t strong, it someone who dislikes humans. This is my warning: I will treat you like crap, and I will unfollow and/or block you for even the most trivial of reasons without a second thought. People on Twitter (with very few exceptions) add such a tiny amount of positive into my life it takes virtually no negative to make you not worth it. And last night was a wonderful reminder of why I am such a dick about it.

So, Mina has this new Dom in her life, DomC. He is intelligent, thoughtful, enthusiastic, and local. I am happy for her. I have borne witness to her long, long search for a Dom, spanning two contents, and seen the epic pile of shit she has had to wade through. And it is epic. (side note: I have another post on the taxonomy of Doms out there, breaking down all the ways in which Doms suck. And Doms, in general, suck. Because they are people. And people, as a rule, suck. See: “Misanthrope” above) let me point something out: she has a local Dom now. This is somebody that will compete for MY time with my WIFE, and will fuck her. We have had the nitty gritty discussion about whether condoms are needed for oral sex (no) and where his dominance may and may not interfere with our life. I’m good with all of this – and sending my wife off to get tied up, beaten, and fucked.

However, there’s a guy out there this could have been. Someone she liked, and talked to a lot, and someone she wanted to be her long-distance Dom. And I offered to buy her the plane ticket in our upcoming trip to the States to see him. So HE could beat and fuck her. But, his situation didn’t allow for it, and he decided not to take her on. At this point, I really have no issue, and I actually appreciate the thoughtful honesty it takes to tell someone you won’t be involved because you can’t do it right.

But then DomC comes in the picture. And OtherGuy suddenly starts giving her tasks, with which she happily complies as things develop with DomC. Then she decides to place herself in DomC’s service, OtherGuy’s panties promptly give him an atomic wedgie twisting into a knot. So every conversation Mina has about her exciting relationship with DomC has to be tempered by knowing OtherGuy is hurt. Even her posts about him reflect that. And, at home, she is almost ashamed in her demeanor. This sucks like a tornado.

So, Friday night we decide to take a date night, and we leave our phones at home. It really has to be done that way – my workaholic nature means I compulsively respond to every buzz. We go out to a tremendous French restaurant because it was the closest one on my GPS, and spend way too much on some breathtakingly perfect food served in the impossible decadent way the French have perfected, with a forest of glasses on the table glinting with actual silver. This meal zeroed our dining out budget for the month. But it was wonderful to unplug and be together, and we had a terrific night.

Then we get home, and OtherGuy has left Mina a series of messages as he has fallen apart and accuses her of playing him. There aren’t many ways to get under her skin, but accusing her of being unfair is one of them. Her nature is to give to the point of self-destruction in order to be fair, so to have someone she genuinely cared about, that seemed to hold her at arms length accuse her of playing him wounded her. She then spent the rest of the night in that defensive blend of fighting, explaining, and consoling. And I was left surfing YouTube until I was exhausted and decided to go to bed. She stayed on her phone, trying to sort this out, until I walked back in, and told her to tell OtherGuy (whom I called by name, even though she never said she was talking to him) it was bedtime. Then, in bed I got the full story, and went on my own rant for twenty minutes that left her quite uncomfortable while I rolled over and drifted off, ending our date night in uncomfortable distance.

And this, you see, is why I refuse to engage the vast majority of people. Because the cost drama takes on our life is so wildly disproportionate to what it takes to inflict. Especially with the difference in time zones, (our bedtime is still in the workday for most Americans) we now have a potential audience of hundreds who emotional needs can intercede at any time, and ruin the good we spent so much time building. We are nice people, and we care about the folks we talk to, and if someone is upset, we want to make them happy. But, as my first marriage taught, being someone who wants others to be happy exposes you to being exploited by nice people you care deeply about, if they can’t handle their own shit. It’s not deliberate or cynical, but it is a case where you will get taken advantage of, over and over again until you are pushed to the point that you have to lash out to save the little bit of you that you have left.

And this is how I became the misanthrope. Because, after trying to be the nice person, and having my ex-wife steal a decade of my life, having blogger “friends” try to get me fired over stuff other people did, having some random Internet people try to break my relationship with Mina (or merely come between us), and having my own family ruin several holidays for me, I have learned. It is far better to push people away on day 1, so that you can still have enough of you to enjoy the things that really matter. Then, as a bonus, you don’t spend remotely the same amount of time thinking of other people’s shit.

It’s not that I don’t care about you. It’s that I won’t.

training the anus

Yesterday, began my first day of training under DomC’s instructions. He sends me this message:

Our first endeavour, the anal training, i want you to decide on when we start with. To familiarize you with your back side and the penetration of your anus again is the first step we’ll take. Let me know by text, when you are ready to start.

DomC,

You know how much of a word slut I am… so when I read, “To familiarize you with your backside and the penetration of your anus”… you know I become instantly wet. The use of the word “anus” so clinical and so raw is simply music to my inner voice.

I insert my medium njoy plug and email a photo of my backside, plug in place and my luscious cunt lips above it. I text you, telling you I sent you an email and that I am ready. It’s both an acceptance of your training and an acceptance of you becoming my Dominant.

I want you to try the following: kneel on your sofa, head on the cushion, ass in the air. Then spread your ass cheeks and relax. Allow the plug to slide outwards but keep it in your anus at all times…

This proves to be a bit challenging for me. The njoy plugs are so well made, that they don’t actually move very much for me. I do my best to spread my ass cheeks and allow the plug to slide, but it does not move. I feel very relaxed, but it just won’t move.

That speaks to the quality of your taste. Try pushing it out lightly, not allowing it to escape your hole, spreading your cheeks…

Truly, you are a new breed Sir. The fact that you recognize the quality in my taste of toys flatters me and proves to me you pay great attention to detail. As I push the toy gently, I can feel it move ever so slightly within me. It’s a good feeling. I like being aware of it’s movements inside me. You ask me if I am “up for more?” and I reply with “yes.”

Pull the plug out slowly. Enjoy the feeling and push it back in. Repeat as long as is is pleasant to you.

I spend much time with this. I relax while on the couch. I pull the plug and it resists me. I relax and feel it slide out just a little before I push it back in. Slowly, ever so slowly I work the plug. Until it pops out completely and it is a little uncomfortable. I try to push it back into my anus, but it resists. I take the plug into the restroom and wash it off. I don’t dry it off and let the water act as a lubricant for the smooth steel. I push the plug back into my anus and it slides easily back in. This time something is different. This time, there is no uncomfortable feeling. I pull the plug out and push it back in several times. It actually feels fucking good for a change instead of slightly uncomfortable. I fuck my ass like this for quite some time. Enjoying the pleasure I am surprisingly feeling and proud to serve you.

Very well done my dearest Mina. Once you pulled out the plug, grab your cheeks, and spread your ass as wide as you can and push out, to open you anus

Yes Sir

Did you enjoy today’s anal training my sweet Mina?

Very much Sir. I am pleased with my own efforts to find the pleasure.

I am pleased with you to have made the effort to find the pleasure. Enjoy your accomplishment. I for one enjoyed our close connection, very much!

Thank you very much Sir.

my plugged anus for DomC