hnt~ key hole

You never know what you are going to see when you look through a key hole. Unfortunately, you’ll never know just what I’m fantasizing about… or do you?

poly, what does it mean?

Labels suck, yet we all feel the need to define ourselves. We like being able to place ourselves into a category and explain our lives. I think I can safely speak for my husband, when I say we most identify with being “poly” or “polyamorous”. We don’t wish to meet someone just for sex and never see them again. We prefer to meet people we have emotional and physical connections to. People we can consider good friends and try to keep in our lives for an extended period of time. These same people also happen to be our lovers. We would love to meet people so special in our lives that they can be considered our “boyfriends” or “girlfriends”.

One of the things I have come to understand about being “poly” is that it encompasses a great amount of honesty amongst all partners involved.  However, is that where it ends?

I have been pondering something these last few days and I guess I just want to hear the opinions of others. I’d like to hear how other people define being “poly”. Let me make myself very clear, I am not judging anyone. I have a preference and an opinion of what being “poly” means to me and I’d like to know how other people view being “poly”. Even if they are not “poly”.

Here’s the thing, my husband and I live a very open and honest poly life with each other. We think being poly means being honest. I’ve already written about how we prefer to not get involved with people who are unfaithful to their partners. It’s not a judgment call. We really don’t care that they are unfaithful. We just find that people who are unfaithful are not emotionally or physically available to us.

But here’s the thing: is encouraging people or enabling people to be unfaithful to their partners frowned upon in the “poly” community?

If a poly couple decides to get involved with someone who is being unfaithful to their partner, would that be considered the “poly” way?

Or what if you live a “poly” life and you encourage someone to cheat?

Personally, I don’t feel it’s very “poly” to be involved with unfaithful people or encouraging others to be unfaithful. I’d really like to know what you readers think, regardless of whether or not you are poly. I’d like our readers and myself to hear a different point of view.

Have I put a label on my label? I suppose it doesn’t matter much. We all live our lives in the way that makes us most happy and that’s what matters. There is no right or wrong way, but I’d really like to know other people’s opinions.

Not Eternal Recurrence

There’s an interesting philosophical concept of “eternal recurrence.” Essentially, if you had to the live the same life over and over, exactly as you lived it, would you want to? (This is a vast oversimplification, I know.) But this is really a bastardized version of what I was really thinking about.

This came from another oddball thought I had this morning. As I think back to all the people I have had sexual relations with in my life (not always including intercourse) how many would I want to involve myself with again, if the opportunity arose? I don’t mean in the sense of “knowing what I know now, would I do it again?” I mean in the sense of “With everything in the past unchangeable, I meet the person today and have the chance for one more, would I?”

It’s a trickier question than you think. I threw this up on Twitter and pretty much everyone is in the 2-4 range. What I found interesting is that when I first posed the question to myself, the answer that immediately came up was “two,” and they both know who they are. (One of them I woke up with this morning, obviously.) But, as I thought longer, there were a few more. There was one person of the “Yeah, sure, it’d be fun, not sure anyone would work too hard to make that happen, though” sort. Then another of the “It would be really bad for me, but I don’t think I would say no,” sort. Which brings it to four.

And then there is that range where you think of all the others. The “ennh, not worth it,” the “it wouldn’t be just sex,” and the “there is no WAY I’m opening that Pandora’s Box again,” group. But there is also that, “What happened was enough, and I don’t want or need more” group. But what fascinates me is how, almost everyone I that answered (VERY limited sampling) seems to have about the same number of people they want more of, almost regardless of how many they’ve been to bed with. It’s even more surprising that when the number goes across multiple genders, it still doesn’t change much.

So…I open it to you guys. What do you think? How many would you go for one more of? What do you think of when you look back on your past in this light? 

hnt~ seize

Seize the day!

Yesterday, at the end my hike with my dog, she had a seizure. Of course, at the time, it hadn’t been diagnosed as such. She was walking behind me, I looked at her and her head was cocked to the side, dramatically so, as if something had gotten into her ear. The tilt continued so much that it lifted her front foot with it. She was still trying to walk around like that when I stopped her to see what had happened. She laid down on the ground, her one eye half closed and her body tense. I called Sylvanus immediately, asking him to please find a vet so we could take her. I picked up my dog and walked her to the vet’s office. (There happens to be one right where we live). My dog was still stiff when I picked her up, but had come out of if not long after.

The vet said it looked like an epileptic seizure with the details I was able to give.  Being 4 years old was also the right age at which dog’s begin to have seizures. We had blood work done to rule out any organ failures. Anything wrong with her liver could induce seizures. Her blood work came back normal. The only other possibility is a heart condition. My dog had been chasing chamois in the forest 15 min before the seizure happened. That would take an xray to confirm.

As of right now, the verdict is epileptic seizure. There’s nothing we can really do except see what time will bring us. Our dog may never have another seizure. Or she may have one ever month, twice a year or twice every 10 years. All we can do is see what happens. Obviously, if she begins having seizures on a regular basis, the discussion of putting her on medication will be had.

As of now, I am just thankful for another day with my dog. Seize the day.

chores

First, the collar is locked into place. So it begins, my very first task.

I grab the largest of my steel butt plugs, lube it up and lay back on the bed. I push it against my tight, little asshole and it does not budge. I take long, deep breaths, slowly relaxing my muscles until slowly the head of my plug pushes forward. There is some discomfort as my body submits and takes the plug within it. I lay on the bed, feeling a new fullness my ass hasn’t felt in a few months. It’s uncomfortable for a little while, but my body begins to adjust.

Next, comes the clamps. I loop the chain through my collar and apply each clamp firmly to my nipples. They begin to ache almost immediately. I am ready to clean the bathroom.

I had gathered all the necessary cleaners and tools prior to attaching and inserting my accoutrements. First, I clean the dual sinks. You don’t realize how much swaying your breasts do while cleaning mirrors until you are wearing nipple clamps. The ache in my nipples begins to burn. I immediately begin wondering if I will be able to complete my tasks while still wearing them, but I press on. My plug, not fully settled yet, feels like it may slip out (but it never does).

The shower/bath tub is the most painful task I have to complete. I have to lean over the edge in order to properly clean it and my nipples immediately burn and ache. Each swing of my cleaning arm, each farther lean in, makes my nipples hurt so much. I pause for a moment, wondering what other people must think of women like me? Why on Earth would a woman like me, agree to clean her bathroom wearing nothing but a pink leather collar, nipple clamps and a steel butt plug? Because he asked me to, that is why. My happiness, my inner peace, is found within my submission and pain.

I am thankful at the moment, that my left nipple is more painful than the right, simply because I am right handed.

I move onto the toilet. At this point, the pain has become a part of me. I know my nipples ache and that is the way it will be. I no longer worry about not being able to complete my task. The pain is there and I have accepted it.

The final cleaning of the walls and floor (the entire bathroom is tiled, walls and all) is complete with barely a hitch. Now onto my reward.

After completing my cleaning, I am allowed an orgasm in honor of him. Of course, there are specific ways that this orgasm must be obtained. I bind my ankles together, using the velcro cuffs from our “under the bed restraints.” On my knees, I am to ride my “faux” cock to orgasm, not moving it at all, but simply riding it and I am to do this blindfolded as well. First, I slide the cock inside me while squatting over it. It is met with great resistance since I am still wearing my plug. There is much discomfort and finally I have to remove the plug. My body is simply not ready for double penetration with two large objects.

After removing the plug, I then reposition myself on the cock and blindfold myself. At first I bounce up and down, riding the cock. I grin and think “Oh you wicked man. You knew that bouncing on a cock, after having worn my clamps already for so long, would cause even more discomfort!”

I cannot orgasm from riding a cock alone. I need stimulation on my clit. Nothing in my tasks say I am not permitted to use other means to orgasm as well. It is simply stated that I must orgasm. I grab my favorite vibe and begin using her on my clit. At this point, I have found the best way to complete this task. I am on my knees, the cock’s base is nestled at my feet, against the buckles of my ankle cuffs. Instead of bouncing up and down, my hips begin to roll over the cock as my vibe stimulates my clit. The room is hot as the sun hits the roof top window. My face begins to sweat beneath the blindfold. My ankles and feet begin to ache from being sat upon while I work my body into an orgasm until finally, I burst into orgasm and it is a wonderful feeling.

I am entirely exhausted from my tasks. I unfold my body, removing the cock and unbinding my ankles. Now comes the extremely difficult part, removing the clamps. I yelp as each nipple is released from the clamps. As the blood rushes back in, a searing pain pounds within them. They are very very sore and I writhe a bit on the bed.

Last, I remove my collar and am pleased with myself. I have completed my tasks as asked and I very much enjoyed doing them. I suppose I wavered off the path a bit by having to remove my butt plug. However, I am proud of myself for keeping my clamps in place during the entire task. I touch my nipples now, as I write this. They are angry with me, but I am sure they will forgive me soon enough.

As for me, their soreness reminds me of the tasks I have happily completed and this pleases me to no end.

Thank you to Sir, for allowing me the opportunity to serve him. I hope that I have met the master’s requirements with great satisfaction. This is the beginning of a journey that I hope continues.

snippet

He plays my body so well, my husband. Sylvanus has been the first man to ever take the time to get to know every inch of my body in the biblical sense. He is the first man to ever unlock my oral orgasm.

Last night, Sylvanus gave me amazing oral and after I had orgasmed, he began stroking his cock. Before I knew it he pushed his cock inside me and it entered with such ease, I gasped. I could feel every inch of it envelop in my wetness. It was a blissful feeling. He began thrusting hard into me, seeking his own pleasure. I moaned loudly and his hand covered my mouth. The very same hand that had fucked me to orgasm not moments ago.

The scent of me on his fingers was strong and I became intoxicated. So much wetness! My tongue curled out between my lips and I sucked his fingers inside my mouth. I sucked hungrily at his fingertips, moaning with each thrust his cock gave me. I devoured my arousal off of his fingers and I loved every bit of it.

When the last of my arousal was licked off of his fingers, he pulled out and painted my body with his DNA.

damage control

I don’t know why my mind went here today, but it did, so I am letting it flow through my finger tips.

Before I met Sylvanus, there was Patrick. Before Patrick there was years of a crappy relationship, meaningless flings and one epic abusive relationship. I was on a thin line to say the least and I just wanted to meet someone right for me. I used a reputable site and I met Patrick. We were “perfect” for each other. We really had so much in common and it felt right. I threw caution to the wind. I fell recklessly in love. Not long after we physically met, he had to go away for a few months for a job. Our need for each other was so strong, he abandoned the project and came home within a month.

From there, Patrick and I spun our own web of crazy. We were so into each other, it almost seemed unbelievable … in fact.. it was.

One night, Patrick was over at my place. I remember this in such vivid detail because it stung so bad. We were laying in bed and he said he had a bad headache. I leaned over and gently brushed my finger tips over his forehead. Suddenly, he flicked his head to the side and brushed my hand off. I withdrew, hurt.

Not long after that, I was at his place and I could tell something was wrong. I asked him to talk to me. He began by telling me the relationship was just too much. I demanded too much of his time. He needed to step back and take some time and think about things. He was not happy. I was hurt and angry. I was angry because I was completely confused.

You see, I am not the demanding girlfriend type. I am absolutely flexible and prefer the man make all the decision. When he needed to work, I let him be. I am not the type of woman who constantly calls her man or sends him messages. Go ahead, ask Sylvanus. I am very quiet during his work days. I leave him be, unless something comes up and I need him.

So when Patrick told me, I was too much and that I was too demanding, it really threw me for a loop. In tears I took off my charm bracelet (a very special gift he had given me) and gave it back to him. He told me he wanted me to keep it. I told him I didn’t want it if I wasn’t with him and left it there. I also made myself very clear. I was not going to email him, call him or send him any other type of messages. If he changed his mind, he knew where to find me and I left his house in tears. As far as I was concerned, it was over. There was no “I need to think about it”.

I cried on the way home. I verbally cursed the world and said I was done. I couldn’t believe our relationship fell apart that way. I was done with dating. I had to pull myself together and go to my night job of waitressing.

Patrick got smart and he showed up to my work near the end of my shift. He apologized and handed back the charm bracelet and said “Let’s never take it off again”.

I took him back and we would go on for 2 years, but the damage was done and the wall was built.

Our relationship was never the same. I was never the same again. My days of throwing caution to the wind were over. I shouldn’t have taken him back. I should have taken the hit and moved on.

But then again… I would have never met Sylvanus and appreciated him,  had I not stayed with Patrick..

homage

Last night, I wrote this. I invite you now to experience my homage in exploring my submission.

I gathered the necessary accoutrements and laid them out on the bed. The pink collar, nipple clamps, steel plugs and an array of toys. I lined the toys alongside. There was a variety of vibrators and dildos. I was too shy to kneel before the bed. I removed every piece of clothing and jewelry before wrapping the cool pink leather around my neck and fastening it in place. Next came the nipple clamps and I strung the chain that connects the two through my collar’s ring. I grabbed the small steel plug, applied some lube to it and slowly pushed it into my ass.

click to big

I stood on all fours and suddenly became overwhelmed with an urge to have my cunt filled. There I was, a submissive beast on my bed. My nipples tingled and stimulated my core. My ass filled by the plug. All that was missing was a finger, toy or cock in my cunt. I paraded on all fours around the bed. No shame. This was my sanctuary. This was my time to give myself to “him” though he is no where to be seen. All I wanted to feel were the clamps on my nipples and as I crawled on all fours, my breasts swayed back and forth, pulling on the chain and clamps. I’d toss my head from side to side, looking to the ceiling, pulling the chain taut and my nipples would burn in sweet ecstasy.

By now my cunt is a wet mess and aches to be filled as well. I am, in fact, a bitch in heat. I reach for the dual stimulating vibrator and slowly push it inside me. It presses against the plug and I feel full. So very full. The plug and vibe fight for space between my tight holes. My nipples sting, feeling the pain of the clamps. My clit is stimulated by the soft buzz of vibrations. It doesn’t take me long before my body erupts into orgasm. I can feel my muscles clamp and release. My ass and cunt pulsing together. I collapse on the bed, releasing my nipples from their cage and leaving my holes vacant once more.

I rest, if for a brief moment, before placing the clamps on my nipples once more and stringing the chain through my collar. I parade again for “him”, feeling the delicious pain mixed with pleasure. I choose a clitoral vibe this time and give myself two powerful orgasms before calling it a night.

Satisfied in my tribute, I get up and clean the plug with great detail. The clamps get removed and the toys pushed aside. My nipples ache, as I put myself to bed. I leave the collar on, deciding to sleep in it for the night. As I drift off to sleep, my nipples feel as if they are still clamped and attached to my collar and I feel humbled and safe.

This morning, I awaken and before crawling out of bed, I put my clamps back on, get on all fours and once again give myself 2 orgasms. I have spent my entire day with hardened nipples aching as a reminder of my homage. Tonight, I have a feeling there will be more.

The only thing missing is “him”. I hope one day he will come and accept my offering and bask in my servitude for I wish it to be so with every fiber of my being.

HNT~ hiding

Similar to last week’s, this was another from the set that I liked.

Product Review~ Fun Factory miniVIBES Bubbles

This review is brought to you by the lovely folks over at Sex Toys UK.

It’s been awhile since I’ve acquired a new Fun Factory product. So, I was extremely delighted when I received one of their “Click ‘n’ Charge” vibes. The Bubbles is part of their miniVIBES line. What makes this particular vibe extremely cool is the way it recharges. It uses a Magnetic Charger. You simply place the Magnetic Charger to the correct part of the toy and it recharges. No need to replace batteries here!

Bubbles is made of 100% medical grade silicone. So remember, you’ll want to use a water base lube for this one. It’s also completely waterproof. There are three vibration programs easily adjusted with touch buttons. Vibration strength can also be adjusted from low to high.

I really like the unique “bubble” design of this toy. The material is very soft and smooth. Bubbles is a little bit squishy to the touch and I immediately wanted to try it out on myself. Bubbles can be used as a clitoral stimulator and as an insert-able vibe. However, according to it’s packaging, it is not recommended as an anal toy.

I found that this vibe felt good being pushed inside me, filling me perfectly. It should be noted that I am small and tight. This toy may not feel the same for everyone. I cycled through all of the pulsations, but I prefer the steady pulse. I also turned the vibe up to full strength since I was not using it directly on my clit.

With the aid of some pornography, I used Bubbles to rock me into an orgasm and it was a lovely orgasm.

What I like about Bubbles:

• texture and feel
• waterproof
• quiet motor
• rechargeable

What I didn’t like:

• Charger does not come included, however, this is also a good thing if you plan on having more than one Fun Factory product like this one. Who needs a draw full of the same charger when it’s included with every toy?
• Cleaning between the “bubbles” takes some time. Body fluids get trapped in the creases between each of the “bubbles”.

All in all though, I do give “Bubbles” a thumbs up. I enjoy the feel of it inside and out and it definitely is a lovely addition to your bath time fun! So go on! Get lost in the “bubbles” !!