Kink Academy~ oral pleasure 101

Sylvanus and I have been writing our sex blog now for 3.5 years. We have come across many types of people, couples and relationships. Being on twitter for also more than 3 years has really opened up my eyes to many things. On twitter, I get to know many people on a more personal level. Included in this are sexually unsatisfied married men. Their number one complaint seems to be, “my wife doesn’t suck cock” or “my wife doesn’t suck enough cock”. I have come to learn that men value their oral pleasure highly. Sylvanus is also one of these men. In his previous marriage, one of the reasons he was sexually unhappy was that his wife refused to suck his cock. He asked her to and she refused, saying she just couldn’t.

Read the rest of this post here and please leave a comment.

Kink Academy ~ Light Sensation Play

Sensation play, specifically light sensation play, has been a part of Sylvanus’s and I’s relationship (regardless of D/s or not) since the beginning. Though the phrase “sensation play” should be pretty self explanatory, I will define it for those who may not know. It is the use of objects (or other body parts) on the body in order to stimulate the senses. Sensation play can vary from light, medium and hard.

Read the rest of this post here and be sure to leave a comment over at KA will you?

Nature is a Mother

This post is about my misadventures trying to fly to Europe through inclement weather. It’s whiny and not at all sexy. Ye be warned.

So, yesterday I was supposed to fly to Switzerland again, to get the whip cracking. Here was the plan (call it Plan A):

Plan A: ROC to ATL to ZRH

Pretty simple. I take the 12:25 to Atlanta, then catch the 4:30 to Zurich. I check in the day before before and print my two boarding cards. Here, let’s keep a score there:

Number of boarding cards: 2

I get to ROC, and find out my flight to ATL has been cancelled, because the snowstorm, that destroyed the roof of the Metrodome in Minneapolis and lethally blanketed Detroit prevented my plane from leaving it origination and coming to Rochester. They HAD rerouted me to an earlier flight that day…and never called. So, technically there WAS a plan B:

Plan B: ROC to DTW to ATL to ZRH (catching the 9:30 to Detroit from Rochester on the 13th and then the same ATL-to-ZRH leg).

However, that was DOA because I didn’t know about it until I arrived at the airport for my 12:20 at 10:15. So, Delta rolled out Plan C:

Plan C: ROC to DTW to ATL to ZRH (all tomorrow on the 14th)

And, let’s update the scoreboard:

Number of boarding cards: 5

Unfortunately, I am someone who looks at a globe now and then, and I realize that Rochester is next in line for this blizzard, and that this plan takes me straight into its chaotic wake. So I get on the phone with Delta, who then conjures forth…

Plan D: ROC to ATL to AMS to ZRH (taking the 5:30 to Atlanta, then off to Amsterdam after a two-hour layover)

This flight is hours later, so we go back home, and I pack a few boxes before we head back out to the airport. There I get my luggage checked and they print me a new set of boarding cards. Which reminds me:

Number of boarding cards: 8

As I sit comfortably at ROC waiting on my flight, I hear the PA come on about 45 minutes before departure to announce boarding calls. Except that they are announcing a delay of two hours. Seems our plane is coming from Detroit. A few moments later, the delay gets extended twenty more minutes, which means I am guaranteed to miss the connection to Amsterdam. I consider toughing it out, since I have family in Atlanta, but instead get on the phone. The agent on the phones whips up…

Plan E: ROC to JFK to AMS to ZRH (catching the same AMS to ZRH leg)

This is now at about 5 PM – and the flight to JFK is at 6:38, arriving at about 7:50, and my connection is at 10:10. As I the gate agent is struggling, and eventually succeeding, to print my boarding card (he can’t print anything for the JFK-AMS-ZRH parts, only as far as JFK)

Number of boarding cards: 9

I starting chatting with other people at the gate, who were waiting on a flight to JFK since about 1. (Their plane was coming from Minneapolis) Their flight was at 5:10, and was being pushed back to 7:30. The 6:38 was coming from Cincinatti, and was already in the air. Suddenly there is a tidal wave of people rising up to the gate agent to get on the (hitherto nearly empty) 6:38. I am literally the toast of the gate. Meanwhile the update emails on my flight to Atlanta keep rolling in..delay…delay…delay…delay…cancelled. I pat myself on the back for a good call.

The plane arrives a mere ten minutes late, they get us on board in record time and we’re…waiting. Eventually the plane pulls out, and we get stuck at a bottleneck as they are de-icing every plane just before they take off. Our delay stretches past an hour (let’s face it, you can’t be too unhappy about de-icing, except maybe it would be nice to have a little more capacity) but we eventually take off. Our one hour flight brings me to my least favorite airport, JFK, and we land at about 8:45. Awesome.

And we get to our gate (actually, anyone who flies a puddle jumper to JFK knows that “gate” refers to a spidery path of temporary corridors set up on the tarmac) and…we…sit…there. They decide to keep up in the plane while they unload the gate-checked baggage. And we wait. And we wait. And we finally get off at 9:08. I sprint through the labyrinth of leaky plywood to the jam-packed terminal looking for gate B24, where my 747 awaits. (personal dream) Only, to no one’s shocked, they park the world’s largest airliner no where near where they park the puddle jumpers. And the shuttle to the other terminal has stopped running. I ask a couple guys at the shuttle stop, and they say that I can catch the shuttle from gate 11 till 9. I show them my phone: 9:13.

“Well, you can take the Airtrain – you just need to exit at gate 1.” What this means is that I need to leave the secure area, and take the train to the other terminal and go through security again. Now – the inability of the agent in Rochester to print my 10th boarding card becomes an issue: without a boarding pass for the JFK-to-AMS leg, I can’t go through security. No problem I’ll stop at the KLM counter…which is closed. It’s now 9:20. I get back on the Airtrain to terminals 2/3. The Delta counter in 2 is closed…so I take the walk back to terminal 3 to find a madhouse of travelers desperate to get on anything wings. However, to Delta’s credit, their crew at JFK is poorly trained, lazy, and unmanaged. So that’s good.

Back on the phone I go. Meet Plan F:

Plan F: JFK to AMS to ZRH (at starting at 4:20 on the 14th)

I decide that if I’m going to waste a day, I might as well do it on a mattress, so I start making my way to the hotel shuttles. However, I just have that sense in my head that something is not right. So I call Delta, and first reach someone who speaks with a severe accent and an unreliable microphone. After ten minutes of struggling to understand and making her repeat everything, I ask for a different agent. She tells me to call again and I’ll get someone different. I call again. This agent can’t help, and transfers me to a well-spoken person I can easily understand, at which point the Airtrain goes into a tunnel, dropping my call. I call again, and get a helpful agent who clarifies a misunderstood detail, and then strongly advises me to go back to the terminal and get my tickets printed now. With a heavy sigh (it’s now past 11) I walk away from the hotel shuttle and back to the train, back to the terminal, and wait in line. I catch one of the lesser agents, who works next to a greater agent. After twenty minutes, she re-checks my luggage (somehow, it seems to be in JFK. How, I have no idea.) and prints a boarding pass:

Number of boarding cards: 10

At this point, I just know something is wrong, so I read the card, and, lo and behold, it is for Amsterdam to Zurich. Nothing about how I get to Amsterdam. I ask her for help, she pecks at the computer for ten more minutes, then gives me to the greater agent, who assaults her computer for 25 minutes, before phoning for help, who flogs the system for ten more, until they finally tell me they can’t print that ticket because KLM is closed and they can’t access KLM’s system.

Fine.

Hotel.

I go back on the Airtrain, back to the hotel shuttles and call the Hampton Inn, and ask them to send their shuttle. The waiting area is a blast chiller, amplifying New York’s 20 MPH winds and plunging the 30-degree weather into a decidedly frosty wind chill. I have not had dinner, and I am wondering if any place delivers. Shuttle after shuttle comes…no Hampton Inn. Finally, one guy asks me “Hey, where are you going?” I tell him. “That’s right next door to where I’m going, come on.” I numbly get in. We whip around and he drops me at the Hampton (where I see their shuttle…still still waiting to leave). I get out and I hear the driver, “What, no tip?” Fuck.

I slap some cash in his hand, run in, take the smoking room (all they have available), and a chinese delivery menu. I get to my room, set at a balmy 62 degrees, decide not to both with dinner at half past midnight, and go to sleep, cold, hungry, alone, but still grateful to be in a bed and not in the even more frigid terminal 4 waiting for the KLM desk to open.

As I write this now, I am at the Hampton, with a whole day to kill. Let’s hope this day goes better than yesterday.

an update on the hard decision

Right now, Sylvanus is getting ready to board delayed in boarding flight that will take him to Switzerland. He’ll be there till the 19th. In the meantime, I will be packing up the entire house!

It’s proving to be very difficult to sort through the things and pick what comes to Switzerland and what stays. For the most part, because we are *supposed* to come back to the US in 2 years, all our stuff will be going into storage. There is no sense in moving ALL our things to Switzerland, only to have it all moved back. The cost is phenomenal and our furniture is too big for the old country.

Of course, I still want to bring some of “home” with us and let’s not forget the sex toys! I also have a stack of books I have not read yet that I’ll be shipping to Switzerland. Remind me to NOT buy any more books. I have more than enough unread ones to keep me busy for awhile. We also want to bring our gaming systems along, clothes, shoes (all things are EXPENSIVE in Switzerland) … it’s unending and a little stressful. When Sylvanus woke up this morning at 3 in the morning for his Swiss -time meetings, I was not able to fall back asleep. My mind kept turning over all the many things that needed to be done. It feels impossible to be able to pack up this house, however, it isn’t really. I managed to get the kitchen all packed up today. Save for a few dishes and pots and pans for cooking this week. Over the weekend, the living room and dining room area got pretty much packed (except for the tv and electronics). I’m keeping a positive attitude, as I still have to tackle things upstairs and in the basement. Oh my!

A few days ago, I made mention that our sweet Tobias may not be joining us for this move… well, here’s the update… he will. As much as it is a pain and makes things a tad more difficult, my husband and I will be driving both our cars to ATL for the holidays. Sylvanus will turn his car in since the lease is almost over and his parents will be keeping mine. So, the trip will be a little bit exhausting since we will have to drive the full amount and can’t change drivers. However, I do appreciate that my husband is willing to bend on this for me. He could see how much it meant to me to have Tobias with me. I love him for this. I am thankful our little family will not be separated.

a hard decision

The move to Switzerland is proving to be extremely stressful. It went from being, “nothing is confirmed yet, don’t tell anyone.” to “nope not confirmed yet, still waiting on the word” to “I need to be there after the 1st of the New Year.”

Trying to get our ducks in a row has proven to be difficult, even for me (there’s an inside joke there for those who know me well enough). One of the most challenging things seems to be getting our dog AND the ferret across the pond. The dog really is no problem. Every one will fly a dog. It’s just a matter of getting her a EU micro chip and her health certificates. The travel documents can’t be done sooner than 10 days prior to the flight.

The ferret is slightly more difficult, in that only a few airlines will transport a ferret. Regardless, Delta is happy to fly him. International flights require that all animals ride in cargo. Fine, I was prepared for that. Flying animals over seas is not cheap. There’s the vet bill prior to flying. There’s the cost of the flight. There’s all the additional costs once you land at your destination, and in our case, we will be required to take our dog to a Swiss vet within 10 days of landing, which will be an additional cost.

So here is issue number one… this is beginning to get costly with 2 animals.

Ok, so Sylvanus’s company is paying him handsomely for this move. Perhaps money really isn’t *that* big of a deal. However, Sylvanus and I view things differently. The cost of moving the ferret isn’t worth it to him, though my happiness certainly is.

But there is a lot that is going on behind the scenes that complicate things even more…

Almost all of our things will be going into storage and as the day of the move approaches, I’m left wondering just how much we can take with us in regards to clothes, shoes, and animal supplies. It’s been decided that when Sylvanus goes to Switzerland next week, he’ll start bringing some things with him to store at his office for the time being.

Though Sylvanus will be getting rid of his car because the lease is *almost* over, I can not get rid of mine. I bought my car in Feb of 2009. It’s a civic hybrid. When I bought the car, I had the debt of a previous car attached with it. Financially, we just can not sell the car and take the hit. The most logical thing is to leave my car with his parents in ATL. Yes, I’ll have to pay for a car for 2 years that I’m not even going to be able to use, but at least I’ll have a car when we come back to the US in 2 years.

When flying with pets, the best thing to do is take a direct flight. Even though Rochester airport is an “International” airport *rolls eyes dramatically* it does not have direct flights to Switzerland. In fact, “international” to ROC actually means Canada. Our options at this point, are to either fly out of JFK or ATL. Well, since our car needs to be in ATL, makes sense to drive our car down to ATL and leave it there and then board our flight.

Here’s the dilemma, a civic hybrid is not a big car. The trunk space is highly compromised to make room for the special battery. So let’s say there are 2 adults, 2 crates and luggage to take. Honestly, I’d be surprised if we can get it all to fit. The 2 crates will take up the back seat as the ferret will be traveling in a medium sized crate since we already own one. We own 3 pieces of luggage and all three cannot fit in my trunk. We can cram 2 back there, but that leaves the third… the 2 crates don’t leave for much space.

So what’s an alternative here? Sylvanus flies to Switzerland on his own at the start of the New Year and I later join him taking both animals with me. Well, why doesn’t Sylvanus take one of the animals with him? Glad you asked. There is a $500 cargo minimum. If he takes the ferret on his flight, it will cost us $500. If we take both animals on at the same time, it will cost us just under $700. Taking them separate will cost us at least $1000. Not very smart.

In a perfect world, Sylvanus and I would have the house packed up and everything in storage by the 2oth of this month. We would then pack ourselves and the animals and our luggage into my car, drive down to ATL for the holidays, stay until the New Year and then board our flight to Switzerland.

But life isn’t perfect and it’s certainly not easy and tonight Sylvanus brought up that our reality might be that we need to leave the ferret behind. The cost doesn’t seem worth it and the maneuvering is proving to be difficult. Do I want to leave the ferret behind? NO! As much as the little shit drives me crazy sometimes, he’s a special little guy. We got lucky with this one. He’s extremely well mannered. When I say this, I mean he has NEVER EVER bitten anyone. NEVER! Ferrets are known to be nippy animals and they often bite down extremely hard. Tobias is a good little boy. (He’s only my second ferret I’ve owned) You can play with him and wrestle and he never chomps down on your hand. He and the pup have become great friends. They’ll wrestle with each other and play together like a couple of crazies in the house.

As for me, I love little Tobi. We bought him on Valentine’s Day. He’s been a fun little addition to our family. I’m a responsible pet owner. I take things seriously. Had I known that we would have been moving again, I would have never acquired the ferret. I’m possessive over him. He’s such a special guy, he deserves a special home. I feel like we got such a wonderful gift with him, I hate to let him go. It’s just not right.

So here’s the hard decision… Do I leave him behind? Or take him with us? Is there really a choice?

I have made 2 signs to take with me into my volunteer job. One says “Home Needed” and it has a picture of my betta fish on it. Yes, remember my betta that I moved with me to NY from CA? He is still alive! He’s about 2 years old now. Unfortunately, he cannot come to Switzerland. I am bummed about that too. He made the trip from CA to NY and has continued to survive. He’s got his own personality (yes, fish DO have personalities). I’m sad to have to see him go.

The second sign has a picture of both the fish and Tobias. As I watch the ferret playing with the dog while I type this, exploring the house, and yes, interrupting me by getting into trouble, I just can’t help but get tears in my eyes. I’m just not ready to let go, but do I really have a choice?

Life would be a little bit easier if Switzerland did not accept ferrets. Sure, leaving him behind would still be just as sad and I’d be just as devastated, but knowing I really didn’t have a choice in the matter, makes things a *little* bit easier to accept.

—

Hi, it’s Sylvanus here, and I would just like to clarify some things in anticipation of a few questions:

Q: Isn’t the company paying for the move?

A: Absolutely. However, this is my third corporately-financed move. Every one of them has worked the same way: “We will cover moving expenses up to X dollars.” It’s just basic accountability. We negotiate the number up front and go with that. While the number we have for the move is a nice number, it’s not infinity.

Q: So what’s the problem?

A: There are only two airlines I’ve found that will ship the ferret, Delta and Continental. In both cases they have to fly cargo. Everyone else that flies to Zurich from the US is “dogs and cats only.” Delta is willing to treat both animals as one shipment, which would cost less than the $500 minimum, so we would pay $500, plus fuel surcharge, plus tax, etc. and it would cost around $650, plus an 88 CHF fee per animal at the Swiss border (call it $90), plus the vet appointments for the health certs, plus the chips, etc. So, if we ship Tobias by Delta with the pup, the marginal cost is about $150. If we ship him separately, it comes to $800. Continental wants about $400 for the ferret, and about $500 for the pup, plus a $350 medical approval fee in Switzerland, plus the 88 CHF fee per animal. It’s a non-starter.

Q: Isn’t that kind of cold-blooded of you to put a dollar amount on the ferret like that?

A: No, it’s extremely cold-blooded.

Kink Academy ~ fetishes

I get asked a lot, “What is a fetish?” “Is my love of having my hair pulled a fetish?” “If my cock grows hard just seeing a woman in stilettos, does that make it a fetish?” “There’s nothing that makes me hotter than seeing a breast drizzled with honey… is that a fetish?”

Read the post here and tell me what your fetish is and how you interpret it into your life.

 

kink academy~ all about condoms

Since Sylvanus and I made the decision to open our relationship to include other lovers for over a year now, we’ve become aware that it is very important to practice safe sex. My husband and I enjoy a life without condoms with each other. I use birth control pills to keep myself from getting pregnant, so we don’t normally use condoms. However, we can’t do that with other people we have sex with. We have no desire to bring any diseases into our home and into our bodies.

On another side note, I get asked by readers all the time how they can practice safe sex and what they should be aware of. In a way, writing this post is also a public service announcement for our readers. What better way to get started in talking about safer sex practices than to explore condoms! There are so many condoms out there. Some people are allergic to the basic latex condom and so they use lambskin, but some people don’t realize that lambskin condoms only protect you from pregnancy. They do not protect you from all STDs.

Sylvanus and I explore using polyurethane and polyisoprene condoms.

Read the post here