What’s the big news? You Vote!

Monday night on twitter, Sylvanus and I hinted that we received some big news. We chose not to give details, as this news needed a few days to confirm. We’d hate to bring something up and then have to say “Sorry, we were wrong.” We did however feel, we should have fun with this. I love my readers and I love playing with each and everyone of you. Yeah I’m such a slut. So here it is lovely readers, do you know what the big news is? Take a vote and see if you are right! Before you do though, maybe I’ll confuse you with very convincing arguments!

Mina landed her job! ~ Mina has been volunteering with a company for months now. She’s been volunteering to get her foot in the door to be hired permanently. Did she get a phone call Monday, from the person in charge of volunteers/interns, telling her that a job is opening? Did Mina have a sit down interview and meet with the director and officially get the job? Is Mina now proudly wearing a staff shirt instead of a volunteer shirt?

Mina and Sylvanus are having a baby! ~ Did Mina have her suspicions and wait to take a home pregnancy test when Sylvanus got home from work? Did the test come out positive? Maybe it did. Sylvanus and Mina thought it wiser to make an appointment with a doctor and have the pregnancy confirmed, before announcing the news to everyone.

Sylvanus got promoted and we’re moving! ~ Did Sylvanus, not even 1 yr into his employment with his company, get promoted to a new project? Is this promotion having us move… again? Was he privately told of the new project to first confirm his interest in taking it and now had to wait for the official announcement?

You’re turn… you decide!

kink academy ~ communication

Since Sylvanus and I have been developing an open marriage, we have encountered a lot of different people via the blog and twitter. We’ve encountered the haters who bash us and tell us our marriage is doomed for having sex with others. We’ve encountered people who are supportive and happy for us. We’ve had people tell us they wish they could have a marriage like ours. The variables are endless. There is one key point to everything, however, and it’s communication. Regardless of whether or not we have an open marriage, our marriage could fail if we are not communicating. For people who wish they could have an open marriage, communication is the first step to making that happen. Living a polyamorous lifestyle requires communication to be your number one priority. It would make sense for me to now venture into the videos focused on communication, wouldn’t it?

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Protected: No Umbrellas for a Shitstorm

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kink academy~ legal considerations for polyamory

I’ve certainly spent a lot of time talking about my own thoughts on polyamory and sharing the many videos on Kink Academy about it, but I haven’t really talked about the legal aspects of it. Aimee Bouchard talks briefly (3 min) about it in her video “Legal Considerations for Polyamory“. In this video, “she discusses laws against adultery, the rights (or lack thereof) of multiple partners, and examples of potential discrimination (e.g., child custody and employment).”

Read the post in it’s entirety here

Complications

I can’t help feeling I’ve written this post before. If you recognize it, you can skip it. I won’t be hurt. But I felt the need to share this with a reader who chose to contact us privately about some other events in her life.

Allow me to introduce Sam.

Sam was my high school chemistry teacher. He was one of the biggest influences on me in my life, and why I chose the major I did in college. He was a magnetic personality, that was notoriously uncompromising, often openly mocking his students in class, but doing so charismatically. T-shirts were made of his “isms,” he often came up in graduation speeches, and everyone know what his nicknames for them were. Our class valedictorian was “Pinky,” for instance (for wearing a pink shirt his first day of chemistry). Truthfully, his classroom demeanor would never make it today – some parent would complain about his teasing nature, and he would be booted. Perhaps I was lucky to be in a public school, where teachers take longer to fire. In any case – he pushed me to dizzying heights, and I achieved national stature in the field of chemistry. I admired him, and picked up many aspects of his seat-of-the-pants, backhanded leadership style.

Two years after I graduated he pled guilty to two counts of sexual assualt for the rape and sodomy of a very nice, very bright girl in the class behind me.

The story is especially personal, because my sister was raped in college, and I watched her slowly-self destruct over the course of the next year, when her roommate refused to testify, there was not enough evidence, and she started getting sick for no reason, and they had to test for AIDS (negative, thankfully). Her last year, she could not finish her exams because her hands had become so paralyzed from the stress of her illness, and the various psychological traumas that she couldn’t hold a pen. She failed out of college. The consequences of rape were entirely too real for me. As this slow-motion disaster was taking place, I got the word about Sam – one of the other teachers was asking us all to write the judge in his case to ask for leniency.

For me, my mind failed. This man had been a towering figure in my life, shaped me, and brought out the first true excellence I had ever achieved, and yet he had done something that I knew all too well how awful it was. I couldn’t bring myself to reconcile the good in my life and the horror he visited on others. I couldn’t put together the math of whether he was a good person, and therefore deserved leniency, or a bad person, who deserved to be locked away. Eventually, I wrote the judge, and told him to throw the book at him.

He got a suspended sentence, and was forbidden from teaching again.

Today, I deal with it better, accepting the duality of his personality. In the same way, I’ve learned to accept this in all people – that no one is simply good or bad. And that, even in the most sordid of experiences, there is good to be gleaned from it, and that good doesn’t have to be tarnished by where it came from, even though the scars in my growth never truly go away.

missed opportunities

Where I volunteer, I’ve developed a WorkCrush. I always found him attractive, but always assumed he was unavailable because he spoke of his children. When someone speaks about their kids, I think it’s a general assumption that one is attached to someone romantically. It turns out, however, that he is not attached. A few weeks ago I was present for a conversation with a coworker where she commented on how he wanted her to “hook him up” with one of her visiting CA friends. He smiled and said, “You know those CA girls, they are cute!” In which I replied, “Well, I’m a CA girl. I guess you don’t think I’m that cute.” His reply was, “Well, yeah I think you’re cute, but you’re married and unavailable.”

Ah how the wheel of assumption turns. The conversation ended there. I wasn’t about to pipe in and say “You make too many assumptions.” I’m not sure I’m ready to reveal my personal life to my coworkers. As much as I’d like to think that my personal life is just that, personal, I also fear that it would be frowned upon and held against me while trying to get hired there. It sucks really, if you think about it. It is socially more “acceptable” (and I use acceptable lightly) that I be cheating on my husband, than I be in an open marriage.

In any case, since that day and finding out he is available, I’ve been developing my crush on WorkCrush. Though we haven’t really flirted with each other, I notice him making an effort to catch my eye and say hello. Maybe it’s all in my head, but it’s nice to have a little crush to fantasize about.

I’m still deciding whether or not I want to make something happen with WorkCrush. It’s complicated for many reasons. The main one being that I want to be hired at this place and I don’t want to do anything that will hinder that. My unemployment is slowly coming to a close and I’m starting to feel the pressure of finding a job now. I’d like to find a job doing what I love and this place I’d be happy in.

If I do want to make something happen with WorkCrush, I’m the one going to have to make him realize I am available. I’m not sure how to, other than being blunt and to the point. In which case, I’m not sure I’m ready to do that. What if he doesn’t have an attraction to me? What if him telling me he thought I was cute was him just being nice? I did put him on the spot. I know he likes me as a person and enjoys talking to me and has confided in me about other coworkers, but I don’t know if he does want to be romantically involved with me. I’d hate to make him uncomfortable around me.

In any case, having the opportunity to say anything to him is rare because we are rarely alone together. I don’t get to work with him every time I volunteer, as everyone gets assigned to different units. On Friday, I was not working with him, but I found certain moments where I was alone with him. In which case, they became my missed opportunities to drop him a few hints of my interest.

On Friday, I found myself working with him briefly for about 15 min. During which time we got into a conversation about some interns. Where I volunteer, they also get interns and right now there are a few deaf interns accompanied with interpreters. Our conversation was about how the interpreters are NOT allowed to ask questions. They are there to merely be an interpreter and not talk with the employees. Mostly to prevent further distractions. However, WorkCrush thought this silly and decided to tell his interpreter that it was ok to ask him questions. In which case, while the intern went to the restroom, the interpreter broke the flood gates and asked question after question about the job that WorkCrush does. WorkCrush was blown away by the amount of questions and learned to regret telling the interpreter they are free to ask as many questions as they’sd like. There’s asking questions and then there’s asking too many.

I laughed at this story and let it drop. In hindsight, this became my first missed opportunity of the day. Had I been on my game I would have responded with, “Geez, had it been me, I wouldn’t have wasted my questions on your job.” I would then expect that to lead to a questioning look from WorkCrush, in which I would answer him with, “You know, I’d ask you, are you available? Want to go out for coffee sometime?” Hopefully, that would lead to some type of interest back from him, but if not, no harm no foul. I have my answer that he’s not interested.

My second missed opportunity happened at the end of the day. I actually waited to walk out to our cars together. We were alone, and just chit chatting about stuff and then he wished me a good weekend. I wished him the same, knowing he’d be working. What I wanted to say and didn’t was, “It would be much better if I had your number.” I held back.

I’m in a predicament here. I have a crush on him, but obviously things are complicated. They are mostly complicated because I want to be hired there. If I were just a volunteer not looking for employment, I probably would have made my move by now. Part of me is content to let him be my fantasy Crush and just let him occupy my mind from time to time. The other part of me however, really wants to at least try and make something happen. He’s the first non-internet person I’ve met that I’ve been interested in and quite frankly, everyone I have met through the internet has turned out to be a big fat nothing. In any case, next week is a brand new week. Let’s see what happens.

Protected: The Characters We Play, Reprise

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Protected: The Characters We Play

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new writing over at Secret Desires…

To my dearest Sir,

We have never met, but I know you. I close my eyes and I see you. I search within and I feel you. You are older than I, tall dark and handsome. Your eyes convey respect and tenderness. In your arms I feel safety, as you hold me against your body. A body that is hard, yet soft. With hands double the size of mine, you place mine within yours and I know all is right. These same hands soothe my body with rubs and caresses, when worry washes over me. These hands of yours deliver my punishment when I have been disrespectful or in need of a stern hand on my body. These same hands grip my hips, holding me into place as you take my body, plunging your cock into me over and over.

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kink academy ~ exploring more on polyamory

Yes yes I know. Another post on polyamory! What can I say? I am a student and it’s my choice as to what I want to learn and right now, I like soaking up as much as I can about polyamory. I love Kink Academy! They make it so easy to watch videos. They are all generally 5 – 1 0 min long. I, for one, have 10 minutes to spare on a given day. You can usually watch 2 videos under 20 minutes.  Even though I have watched several videos about polyamory, I am still enjoying and learning more by watching other videos by different people. Even the ones that cover the same subjects, have different points of view and I still learn something.

read the rest of this post in it’s entirety here