poly?

Lately, my thoughts have been occupied with what it would be like to actually have a second relationship in my life. Primarily, I am speaking of having a second male relationship.

I have thoughts of what it would be like to all live under the same roof. Can you imagine it? Two men and little ole me. There would be nights where I would sleep with my husband and then there would be nights where I sleep with Him. Then there are those nights where Sylvanus and I are making love and right when things start getting hot and heavy, I feel His hands on my body as he creeps into the bedroom to join us. Or the reverse is just as sweet. I’m fucking Him and Sylvanus decides he needs to get in on it. It is a delicious thought to have really. To live under the same roof, with two men that I am romantically involved with. We all get along as close friends but share a very dirty little secret.

Could this really work? I began tossing ideas around my head that this would only work for men who have tried the marriage thing and it didn’t work out for them. These same men will have to have had children already if that is a life goal, because I am not having children.

How would it work? Wouldn’t these men want to have a primary relationship? I mean surly they can’t be satisfied with having me as a side dish? Then, it occurred to me that I was missing a most wonderful epiphany. In my most perfect fantasy turned reality, it is not about primary or secondary, but equals. DUH! I have to throw out the fact that Sylvanus is my primary. Ok maybe I should word that differently, because Sylvanus will always be my primary. No matter what happens in life, it’s Sylvanus I desire to always have in it, through thick and thin. What I should be realizing is, that not one should be treated more importantly than the other. Not one should have more privilege over the other. If I love both equally in their own way, why can’t the second man in question be content and happy with… me? With us? With the arrangement?

I would love him just like any other girlfriend or wife would. Of course, as I stated above, this isn’t for everyone. A lot of people want to find the right person and marry just them and have a happy life with just that one person. But there are people out there, who have either given that a try and it didn’t work out for them, or people who have no desire to get married at all. In which case, getting involved with me, might be fulfilling.

This post isn’t coming along as well as I would like it to be. As I sit here and write, there is a lot of fond emotions going through me. A fondness that makes me happy. I want to be able to express that. I have a lot of love to give. The thought of living in a household where I have two “husbands” is very captivating. Of course, the fantasy of it, is all very well and good. My fantasies center mostly around the love I can experience with two different people and of course the many passionate nights of sex. But this is real life with real life problems and those real life problems are now doubled.

Then again, anything worth having in your life is worth fighting for …

you’ll never guess what happened

I got a text from Mr. English. Yes, you heard me correctly. Mr. English, the guy who slept with me a month ago and disappeared, texted me yesterday, to be exact. He texted to apologize for not emailing or calling and that there is no sufficient excuse for it. Though, he goes ahead and gives me three anyway. He’s sticking to his guns about his wife having had some problems (which are now resolved by the way), his father passed away and he was in England for 3 weeks. (I can only assume he has found his cell phone.) Did I answer him back? No I did not. I’m not planning on ever answering him. His excuses could very well be true and I’m sorry he has gone through a loss, but that does not excuse anyone from not being a decent human being. What about all my unanswered emails? There is no excuse… none. He could have taken the 5 minutes to tell me what was going on from day 1. Instead, he chose to not even contact me for well over 24 hours and only responded when I asked wtf was up. After, he disappeared once more. If he honestly wanted to treat me with respect, he would have told me something right away, but he didn’t. Now, a month later, he comes back with all these excuses.

Well, that chapter is closed and I put the book back on the shelf. Sending him a text to tell him to fuck off only opens the door for communication. Ladies, are you taking notes here? When someone is not worth your time, don’t give them any of it. So, I have a little satisfied smile on my face knowing that if he even cares just a little bit, he’ll be wondering if I even got that text. Sucks to be him.

hnt~ school girl

Oh little mina… why you look so sad? Come and be a good girl and stand up and show all the good readers your cute little outfit from Extreme Restraints…

*Click*

cock whore wife

If you aren’t on twitter, well, you are missing out on a LOT. Today my husband and I were burning up the twitter timeline with talks of how much we want to have another cock in the bed with us, just for me. As some of our long time readers may recall, we have had the wonderful experience of having another join us in the bedroom once before. It is something quite amazing to have the attention of two men on my body, but what was even more of a thrill, was having a cock pound me from behind while I sucked my husband’s cock. There’s nothing like being rammed into as your husband ejaculates into your mouth and you swallow down every drop.

Mmmm..

So it’s no surprise that today I was a good little cock whore wife. My husband teased me by saying perhaps there shouldn’t be just one other cock in the bedroom, but several. My mind went wild thinking about all the possibilities of having 3 cocks at my pleasure. What made the fantasy sweeter, was knowing that one day… it will happen.

Sylvanus instructed me to write a piece of erotica based on our hot little fantasy, but before I even started writing, a hot little fuck toy just needed to jerk off for me on cam. Who am I to deny him? I sat back and watched my little fuck toy jerk off and once he was done, I went back to writing my erotica.

Once Sylvanus got home, we had a very naughty afternoon together. We got on Skype and he watched me cuff my ankles to the bed, legs spread wide, while I fucked myself with a dildo and used a vibrator on my clit. I was blessed by watching him stroke his own erection. After watching me scream in ecstasy, he surrendered to his own orgasm.

Early evening had me doing a solo photo shoot as a task for Daddy. He required me to take pics in a flirtatious outfit I would wear out on the town, a bathing suit, a sexy bra and panty set, something I lounge around in the house in, and lingerie. It was a lot of fun to do. I think I’ll share a little piece of the photo shoot.

In other more exciting news… I have a crush. I mean I am crushing on someone and for once, they are crushing on me just as equally. He may not know it yet, but I had my eyes on him for awhile. Pretty much since he started following me and talking to me on twitter and added me as a friend on Fetlife. My flirtatious advances always seemed to fall short, so I pretty much gave up hope, until this past weekend. Things really got fired up over the weekend and pretty quickly. Before I knew it I was fawning over him and sending him messages until the wee early hours of the night. Ok ok.. the sun rose before I went to sleep… sheesh! Yeah I am that into him. What does my husband think of all this? Read the first part of this post again. *wink* The thing about Edward is, he’s different.. I can feel it. I see so much more than cyber flirtations. I feel much more. I think I may have finally found that second relationship I have been looking for. That second person, that second playmate. Distance keeps us apart for now, but there will be a time where we can be together… there has to be. Even as I write this post, he is writing me, sending me sweet words to make me smile. I smile a lot these days. I also ache a lot, but the giddy smiling feels good. Edward is going to be good for me as far as writing goes. I wrote this little piece of erotica while it rained over the weekend and he and I talked about it.

I have a feeling there will be many things to write about Edward for days to come. Yes, I’ve tossed caution to the wind. It’s how I roll. I’ve been burned, I’ve been bruised in the past, but I can’t help but just go for it. Everything just feels so….. RIGHT.

The Four Country Tour

Question: Name the four German-speaking countries of the world.

Answer: Germany, Austria, Switzerland, and Liechtenstein

That, today, was my plan for my trip: visit all the German-speaking nations in one day. Granted, i happen to be residing in the perfect place to undertake this adventure, northeastern Switzerland, but it is still a haul:

View Larger Map

Driving to Liechtenstein

This leg of the drive was going into to Heidi country. There was even a gaggle of “Heidiland” signs. Leads one to wonder if there just isn’t much else going on, which is a shame, because the actual landscape is nothing short of breathtaking:

Eventually you find the right road and you whip around to Vaduz, which is the capital of Liechtenstein. Liechtenstein is almost comically small a country, and really functions more as a rebellious Swiss canton than an independent state. However, they realize they are a novelty act. There are lots of tourist traps and such like there, and it is all overseen from Castle Liechtenstein:

No tours are available, since this castle is in fact a functioning residence for the prince’s family. (Liechtenstein is a principality, not a kingdom. Prince is as high as it gets here.) While here, i picked up a Liechtenstein t-shirt for myself and went on my way to Feldkirsch, Austria. From here, the trip starts to get disappointing. Austria and Germany and comparatively modern places. Some of it is cultural, some of it has to do with the second world war wiping a lot of slates clean. Feldkirsch did have a bar with a beautiful entrance gate:

And the most postmodern graffiti ever:

After Feldkirsch, it was time to hit the road, and the weather, which had been gloomy all day, took a turn:

Determined to make the best of it, i slogged on to Friedrichshafen, Germany. Friedrichshafen has a claim to fame: Graf Zeppelin, who invented the Zeppelin, was from here. There is a big memorial statue:

Various little statues

A public art project

and, of course, a Zeppelin museum.

However, on this day, there also happened to be a classic car rally:

So that brightened my day and gave me a lot to shoot. From there, it was back home, and a brief stint on the German Autobahn. And let me tell you, there is a rush to just putting your foot down and seeing what happens. i followed a limo doing about 160 kph (100 mph) and i was getting passed with enthusiasm. For proof, i snapped this pic, but apparently slowed down a little:

At these speeds, having to slow back down to appropriate in-town velocities seems like torture. However, it did, in fairly short order, get me back to a welcome sight:

My very exhausted ass happily came back home…and did this post, just for you.

Now i’m going to bed.

Some days it gets to you…

You get on the plane, and your mind is going at the speed of sound. You get to the factory and there’s a day of everyone welcoming you back. You settle in to your rhythm..things slow down for a weekend. You get that whiplash, you recover. Eventually you find the mode where it begins to feel normal.

But there are days…

A coworker suggests a stop for your wife’s visit, talking about when he took his family. You look, and it costs CHF 240 just to get there. You tell him it’s too expensive and he seems shocked, and just tells you it’s worth it. You smile and get back to work.

Some bad product gets out and everyone is beating down your door because they know you will respond. You try to laugh it off, but your can’t keep your exhaustion from showing through. You know you have to clean up that mess, but you make yourself wait till tomorrow so you don’t compound your error.

Half the guys are on vacation, and the other half can’t seem to get themselves worked up.

You talk to them about the future of the factory, and they give you hope, but finish with a defiant rant about how underpaid they are. And you know the person makes more than twice what you do.

You decide you want something delicious, but the beef is CHF50/kg (about $23/lbs) and way out of your budget.

You decide you want something with texture, but even that is CHF15 a minimum. Not in the budget.

You give up and settle for some rolls and rice.

You feel yourself wanting sex…nearly blind with desire – and you only want someone you can’t have.

You get home to your computer that doesn’t quite work right, courtesy of your trip here last time, that you never had the money to fix.

And then, you have that moment, where you sit you down, and you look out at the world, and it gets to you.

And then the rain comes.

hnt~ vinyl

Thank you to a very good friend at Extreme Restraints for sending me this lovely vinyl number to inspire this week’s HNT.

*click*

ass training, the reward

Daddy thought I did such a great job with my ass training, I received this email in the morning:

Daddy wants you to know, that you have been such a good girl… I hope you slept well and had dreams of Daddy fucking his little princess’s warm tight little pussy :)   .

For today’s reward,  we are going to encompass some of the things we learned this past week–mainly delayed gratification,  and the joy it can bring…  At 11:00am (your time),  I want you to use whatever you would like to bring yourself to the brink of orgasm,  BUT DO NOT CUM!!!   You will need to stop & can do whatever is necessary to prevent yourself from cumming.

Then at 12 noon,  you are to do the same thing… Bring yourself as close to an orgasm as you can WITHOUT cumming,  then stop and clear your mind to avoid cumming… Then repeat these steps again at 1:00,  2:00,  3:00,  and 4:00…  NO CUMMING IS ALLOWED!!!!  You will need to text Daddy how long it took to get to that point,  and what you did to get you there… You may wait to do this until you’ve calmed down enough that the thoughts won’t push you over the edge.

At 5:00,  you are to put on your nipple clamps (adjust them so they are just slightly uncomfortable–after all, this is a lesson on delayed gratification, NOT pain)… Insert anything (toy, plug, your choice) in your ass and while fucking your ass with it,  I want you to bring yourself to an intense orgasm(s),  you may use your eroscillator if you wish.   You need not stop at one, if the waves follow,  then go with them.   Then I want you to tell Daddy all about it,  as you tell me how your day went.

This makes Daddy happy princess,  and I hope it makes you happy as well… This allows Daddy to bond with his baby girl across the distance,  and as you once said,  it keeps Daddy in your thoughts as well…  Remember to let Daddy know of any scheduling conflicts.

<3 Daddy :)

There was a scheduling conflict right away. This morning I had the maintenance guy over to finish some work around the house. So I wasn’t able to start my reward till 1 today. Starting at 1 I used my eroscillator each hour to bring myself to the edge of orgasm. It only took a few minutes. The first few times I used the eroscillator on the lowest setting and almost directly on my clit. I concentrated on feeling my muscles while I just simply held the vibe in place. It was a very interesting experience to just lay back and feel my muscles constrict and release. I noticed I hold my breath a lot as I can feel my pc floors tighten. I was a very good girl and never let myself cum. By the end of the day, I was using the eroscillator at full strength while the head stimulated my cunt lips, allowing the vibrations to travel up to my clit. I was left with a fast pulse and aching throb each time.

When 5 o’clock rolled around, I went upstairs and stripped my clothes. I reached for my njoy medium pure plug and inserted it. I attached my nipple clamps with the chain on them. I decided I wanted to feel the weight of the chain pulling on my clamps, so instead of just laying on my back or stomach, I decided to sit upright, cowgirl style, and rub myself against the eroscillator. As my orgasm approached I could once again feel my muscles clamping and when I finally let go, it was an exhilarating sensation to feel my muscles convulsing and feeling the plug in my anus being pressed and released. It was an interesting afternoon of really focusing on how my body responds to my orgasm.

I wanted to enjoy this day more, but in all honesty, I was in a funk. The thrill of last weeks social buzz has slowly worn out as things have quieted down considerably. I am admit to having travel envy. Sylvanus is off visiting foreign places and enjoying foreign foods. Granted, he is working, but there is still a cool factor about it. Meanwhile, here I am in glorious and exciting, upstate NY. Just not much of anything going on around here. I look forward to my volunteer days as they help, at least, to keep me busy.

I admit to thinking that going upstairs to perform my orgasm denials each hour was such a chore. Of course, once up there, I really let myself enjoy the moment. When the time to have my orgasm came around, I wasn’t much in the mood, but I went upstairs and I made the most of it. I mean, it’s an orgasm and still feels fantastic!

I’m just in a funk right now, missing Sylvanus and wishing things weren’t so quiet around here. Oh well, I’ll shake out of it soon enough. I am really looking forward to when I get to go out and see him next month. He already has so much planned for us and it’s all a delicious surprise for me!

ass training day 8

Today my instructions from Daddy are as follows:

On Monday,  I want you to wear the plug all day,  and I want you to sleep with it in at bedtime as well… Then Tuesday morning you can remove it when you wake up… On Tuesday, I will give you your reward for doing such a good job,  and making Daddy proud…

So, as I sit here and write this, I am wearing my medium njoy pure plug. I removed it briefly today to take my shower, but then inserted it right back in again afterward. I had several errands to run today and wore my plug for all of them.

I’ve been asked many times if the njoy pure plugs are comfy… yes.. they are very comfy. The njoy pure plug is nicely shaped to

my njoy pure plugs sizes sm and med

insert easily and fit the contours or your body. The ring that sticks out is much more comfortable than a flared base on most anal plugs. The ring fits nicely between the cheeks. I am never squirming in my chair or shifting my body weight trying to make myself more comfortable. When walking around I never think nor worry about the plug slipping out of me. In a way I’d say that maybe this plug is a little too comfortable. Is that possible? Is that bad? I would describe wearing this plug like wearing an article of clothing. You put it on and just forget about it.

Today Daddy said I was to wear my nipple clamps for 30 minutes. It was punishment for yesterday’s transgression. I wore my clamps with the little bells attached to them. Oh you don’t know which one’s those are? I think I shall help you out.

The last 8 days have shown much improvement as far as my ass training goes. I have noticed that it is getting considerably easier to insert and remove my plugs. I am also noticing it is more pleasurable than painful when doing so. Regardless of whether or not Daddy continues my ass training, I plan on doing so myself. I am ready to start inserting larger objects into my ass. I think the training that required me to insert and remove the plug periodically throughout the day really made a big difference.

I can not wait to see what my surprise is!!!

*** for health reasons I will not be wearing my plug while I sleep. I have already worn it for many hours during the day ***

what do you want?

I get asked a lot of questions, but the one that always gives me trouble is, “What do YOU want/like?”

Should be simple shouldn’t it? I should know what it is I want and like? Yet, it is not that cut and dry. Perhaps I should clarify the circumstances in which I am being asked this question.

I am asked this question mostly by men who are interested in becoming my “playmate (whether in real life, or internet)” or my Dominant.

When it comes to what I want and like as a submissive, I find it hard to express. It’s almost as if I am afraid to limit myself. I don’t want to be too specific and make the other person limit all our activities. I also don’t want to give away everything and have all our interactions based only on what I have shared. The surprise element gets taken out. I realize that is silly. I should be sharing everything.

The truth is, there isn’t much of anything I wouldn’t consider doing with the right partner. Even knife play, needle play, blood, watersports are something I would consider and at least try once. If my partner can arouse me enough to want to experience this intensity with them, well, that’s just HOT. There are a few things I will not do, bestiality is not my thing and neither is scat play. I also don’t care for humiliation. Of course, humiliation can be defined and executed in many ways. The kind of humiliation I don’t want is someone telling me I’m a fat chubby pig and need to go on a diet. I don’t find that arousing at all. I am not a mindless person. I am not an “it”. I am not into someone belittling me as a human being. Just won’t fly.

I live in a fantasy world I admit it. I want someone who captivates me from the first hello. Someone who just “knows” how to talk to me. Reading their words makes me tingle and hearing their voice just makes me melt. He cherishes me like no other and wants to care for me deeply. We connect deeply on a mental level at first and when we meet physically, it’s two worlds finally united. All the pent up desire and need is finally released. His voice is masculine and his body healthy. He’s intelligent and creative. He makes me smile simply by smiling and telling me I am his good girl. His eyes are captivating and his hands large. I crave for him everyday. He’s a mix of discipline and kindness. Most of all, he has the ability to control and demand my attention from many miles away, not just in person.

With that kind of connection, there isn’t much of anything that can’t happen behind closed doors. He can bind me, flog me, spank me, make me his little whore. He is my drug, my addiction. His wish is my command and my happiness.

Yes, I live in a fantasy world, but hey, it’s worked for me once already, I’m willing to bet I can get lucky again.