day 25

What more is there to say other than, in less than 24 hours my husband will be in my arms again!!!

Today Master gave me no new tasks. I started my first day of volunteer work and it was wonderful.

I also got a new hair style today and got the brazilian wax done. What a big day! The waxing went well. It was my first time ever. It didn’t come out perfect but it didn’t come out horrible. There’s a few stragglers left behind only because not all my hair was growing at the same time since I used to shave. It will fix itself out though the more I go.

As for my new hair… I fucking LOVE it. Wow… finally..a hair cut I LOVE! Thank you so much Master for letting me get it done. I know it was a request, but it’s also your hard earned money that allowed me to get it done. So thank you. I am one happy submissive right now.

My suspicions about Dom1 were true. There is a significant other in his life that I would be a secret from. For that, I can not be involved with him. I don’t need the drama of someone finding out and going psycho at my home. I also can’t do that to another woman. Beyond that though, I would like someone who is more available to me as far as time is concerned. Talking to me during work hours just isn’t enough. I am more than happy to stay in contact and give him all the info he desires in regards to BDSM.

Dom2 and I haven’t talked much these days. He gave me a day of reflection and though processing yesterday and today we exchanged a few emails. We are probably going to be quiet this weekend since I will be busy with Master’s return and he has some personal things to attend to. We shall go from there next week.

Less than 24 hours until my husband is in my arms again!

secret click?

day 24 and HNT

Today’s tasks are as follows:

1. Wear your O shirt (cirque du soleil), jeans, white VS Bra and panties.

2. Switch to the choker collar, worn as tight as comfortable.

3. Make sure all my studio lights have good bulbs in them.

4. Go to the kitchen. Make sure we have peanut butter, fresh sandwich bread, sparkling water, bacon, eggs, potatos, onion, Mexican cheese, and tortillas.

5. Find a good picture of a sharp a-line bob to take to a hairstylist. I want your hair cut and dyed with blonde highlights.

6. Upon completion of all these tasks, you may reward yourself with an orgasm with wearing your njoy plug.

Today’s tasks were pretty straight forward. I was on my way to complete my errands when I received a phone call. I had forgotten that I was invited to lunch with some of Master’s coworkers. They never confirmed and we had made the plans over the weekend, while drinking, lol. In any case, I turned the car around and met them for lunch, dressed in my collar and everything, wearing my butt plug. I wonder what thoughts went through their minds.

I picked up all the necessary supplies today, came home and spoke to my Master. After ward I had just enough time to give myself an orgasm, remove my plug and go to the gym.

Tomorrow is a BIG day! I start my volunteer job. I work 1/2 the day. Afterward, I have time to speak with Master and then I am off for my Brazilian wax and my new haircut and highlights! So very exciting!

As far as the Doms go… there isn’t much more to add. Dom1 gave me his stats and he sounds yummy. We get along very well so far. We are getting to know each other. I just wish we had more time to talk. It seems he’s only exchanging emails with me while at work and even those are limited because he is at work. Which leads me to believe his personal life does not allow me in it. Am I a dirty little secret from a significant other? All signs point to yes. I’m not sure I can be a participant of such things.

Dom2 and I have been having long chats over IM. We also get along fine. It’s looking like all of us will be meeting soon. Right now it seems like the whole world is opening up to me AND….

2 days until my husband is in my arms again!

day 23

Today didn’t quite work out as originally planned.

The task of the day:

Obviously you’ve really booked a major task for submission today. :-). Therefore, today is to be a day of healing. You are to relax and pamper your pussy. Enjoy the new feel.

At least once per hour, you should return to bed for five minutes, naked. (this can be averaged – you can do ten minutes for a two-hour period, for instance.) lay in bed, breathe deeply, remember your master, and the sacrifice you have made for him. Think of the feel of me on top of you, my face against your newly exposed skin, licking the soft exposed area.

Take five minutes every hour. Remember what all this for.

So, today was the day I had scheduled my appointment to get my very first brazilian wax. I was nervous excited. I showed up, waited a bit longer than I would have liked considering I had made an appointment and then was escorted to the back room by my waxer. She was a very pretty woman with a very hip look to her. She made me feel immediately comfortable and she had that natural vibe about her that I knew I didn’t need to be shy. She told me to basically get naked from the waist down and that she could either step out or remain in the room and start cutting strips. Well, I’m certainly not shy and it seems silly to have a woman step out of the room when she’s just gonna come back in and see it anyway. So of course I told her she could stay and I stripped down to just my shirt and knee high socks. *smiles*

She took a look at me and said, “oh this should be easy.” Thank god, I thought, but then she took a better look at me and saw something she didn’t like. Even though I had not shaved for almost a week, I had a large number of hairs just emerging or about to. She suggested I should wait maybe a week to let those fully grow, however she knows I really want to get this done before Sylvanus’s return. So instead, I am returning Thursday evening. So I need to wait a little bit longer. I did have my brows done while I was there.

So basically, I didn’t do any of my above task. I did the normal daily routine of wearing my collar, doing my morning stretches and wearing my plug a minimum of 4 hours.

–

So things with the Doms are progressing. I’ve decided not to shut out Dom1. Though he is not experienced, I don’t think that is a terrible thing. Sylvanus had to remind me that he was a newbie when we started, of course we both were. Dom1 had also stepped up to the plate and has been communicating more with me. He was very cute because this morning he sent me a message telling me he thought about me last night. He at least hopes we can stay in touch and I can help him find resources to learn more. I’m ok with that. *grins*.

Dom2 is a bit more advanced into the “getting to know you” process. It helps that he is an established Dom and that we started communicating in length. For the most part, things are really great and there is a LOT of potential. He reminds me a little of Sylvanus. However, there seems to be a piece missing. That final thing that makes me completely at ease and give the green light for “GO”.  I’ve been asking as many questions as I can and have been completely honest with him. Perhaps it’s just going to take a little more time to figure it all out. We shall see.

3 days until my husband is in my arms again!!!

My newest collar

day 22

The task today from Master:

1. I want you to find three women that you do and don’t think are good enough for me. They can be found any where – craigslist, twitter, CNN…the point is NOT to set up people for me. In fact, I fully intend never to talk to these people about the subject. I just want to understand what you think.

2.Bind yourself to the bed. Set your timer for ten minutes and start imagining. Pick one of the women you thought was good enough for me. Imagine I have left to fuck her. You now have the afternoon to yourself, or perhaps with another master. Imagine the day – we wake up, get dressed, shave, and make ourselves ready to fuck, then go our separate ways. I out with my other women, my clothes taken away, lying on her, in her, giving her a shuddering orgasm, coming inside her. Eventually I do come home, freshly showered again.

3. Tell me what excited you, what scares you.

4. Like when you assembled the fuck throne with the hump-n-bump for my enjoyment…you may use this to reward yourself now.

So obviously, I am not going to share my list in detail. I chose to pick real people we know. However, I can share what traits made what lists.

The “no way are you deserving of my husband” list was very easy to put together. Women addicted to drama, whining, acting like children  and whoring themselves out are not attractive features and so have no business being with my husband.

The women who made the, “yes you are deserving of my husband” list are kind, intelligent, avoid drama, confident, respectful, share common interests and are open about sharing their sexuality.

So I picked a particular woman and started to imagine what our day would be like knowing my husband was going to leave to see her and fuck her. I thought about our morning. He would fuck me. He’d take claim of me, reminding me that I am his, telling me how much he loves me and desires my body above all others. We’d go and prepare for the day, taking our showers and getting dressed. Have some breakfast together, before heading out the door.

I pictured him with her. How he’d give her exactly what she desired, exactly what she wanted. She would take it from him happily, unable to believe she was there with him. They wouldn’t do it just once. Sylvanus is a wonderful lover. He’d make sure to give her the full experience. Taking her from above, holding down her wrists as he drives deep into her. Flipping her over, holding onto her hair, pounding into her from behind. He’d give her his cock, allowing her to suck it thoroughly. The whole experience isn’t over till he licks her pussy. He’s so amazing at that.

The only thing that scares me, is the fear that he will meet someone he truly does prefer being with sexually.

What I love about it: Knowing that he has shown someone what an incredible lover he is. Knowing that he has enjoyed himself with someone different and still comes home to me everyday.

When all of this is over, he comes home to me and takes me once more. He tells me how much better I feel. Perhaps he even fucks me like he did her, telling me how much better it is with me.

After my imagining, I set up the fuck thrown and ground myself into a wonderful and delicious orgasm for my Master.

-

On a side note, there have been some interesting developments today. Last night I decided to check out CL and  see if there were any listings of male Doms looking for female subs. There was and I answered one. I spent the time to write a really long response, but his reply came back very short. Today, while talking to Sylvanus, he saw another ad.  (what a great husband I have that he looks for me). It was an ad I did notice but didn’t answer. Since he pointed it out to me I took a second look and answered him. Well, what resulted was a very nice and lengthy exchange of emails followed by some IMs. Honestly, I am quite excited. There seems to be a lot of potential. I get to talk to him again later tonight. I’m really looking forward to it. What’s even better is my husband is equally as happy for me. I have shared all my interactions thus far with him, word for word, and he’s impressed as well. So there may be alot of awesome things to come here At Longings End.

4 days till my husband is in my arms again

day 21

My husband comes home soon! Very very soon. I’m actually a little bummed that he and I didn’t reconnect sooner as Master and sub. I’m just thinking of the one week that passed that I was not very happy and felt very lonely. These tasks that he has been sending me has kept me happy, busy and he’s on my mind constantly. Being his sub again has seriously expanded my feelings for him. I feel this greater sense of connection but also a greater sense of need.

It’s really fascinating how much everything about me changes when I embrace my submission. Without it, I am very independent. I don’t *need* my husband around as much and I accept the fact that he can be gone and we may not talk all day. However, now that I am submitting to him, things are different. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’m still the same independent woman able to take care of myself and my responsibilities. However, now I crave to see my husband. I crave to speak to my husband in whatever way we can, phone, skype, IM. Simply because he is my Dom again. He is on my mind constantly as I execute his tasks. I think about him even when I’m not executing his tasks. I double check myself and make sure I haven’t forgotten to do something.

I can’t wait to talk to him. I can’t wait to hear him tell me how much of a good girl I have been. I eagerly check my email to see if there is something there from him. I’m always checking my IM to see if he has logged on. He’s become my everything.

If you are thinking of becoming a Dom/me to someone, just know it is a huge responsibility and a huge weight to carry. You become her/his world. It’s a lot to know that someone is constantly seeking you out. Someone is constantly looking forward to hearing from you. Someone is looking up to you and asking for guidance and care. Maybe I only feel this strongly because I am married to my Dom. I know being his wife definitely adds more.

It makes me question, however, if I really do want to be under the care of another. Can I truly handle being submissive to more than one person? Even if the second person is long distance. Some of the strongest connections are made through distance. I think I at least want to find out. I have been a long distance submissive to another, it didn’t work out though. Time was an issue. I didn’t feel like he had time for me.  There is a part of me that truly wants to submit to another person on the side. Sylvanus and I would like to find someone local so that even on his business trips, I can have some care and company. However, to me, a long distance thing is fine as well. I think a long distance thing is less complicated as well.

-

No tasks for me to complete today, though I did remember to do the basics such as my morning stretches and wearing my black collar. Even Master needs a day of rest *wink* . He and I did spend a lot of time talking this afternoon. A lot of important issues came up and we got a lot of it out and in the open. He and I can be very hesitant when it comes to sharing how we feel about things when we are afraid of hurting one another. But things need to be shared, especially when you consider yourself to have an open relationship. Desires and experiences can not be fulfilled if you keep things to yourself and it’s lot easier to hurt one another when you keep things hidden away and have them discovered in the most unconventional of ways.

5 days until my husband is in my arms again

day 20

This weekend, Sylvanus is visiting with my family in a different part of Switzerland. However, he still sent me my instructions for the day:

1. Clothing for today: I (heart) my geek t-shirt, jeans of your choice. You can wear a hat in the morning, and while doing molly walks.

2. You need to make some food today, something I would make. I think the buffalo chicken dip would be ideal.

Ingredients:

2 chicken breasts
1 block of cream cheese
1 bottle of ranch or bleu cheese dressing
1 bottle of buffalo wing sauce
2 ribs of celery
1 package of finely shredded cheddar

Boil the chicken breasts until cooked through – about ten minutes.
While the chicen boils chop the celery into fine bits – slice each rib once along the length, then across into short chunks.Throw these in a casserole dish.
Break the cream cheese into chunks and add to the casserole dish.
Hopefully the chicken wil be done boiling. Take a breast out, slice it through the thickest part and check. If not done-boil it more. Once done, chop into big chunks, then lay the falt of the knife on top of each chunk and pound it with the flat of the knife to break it up. Throw the flattened chunks in the casserole.
Start mixing everything up. Add a few tablespoons of buffalo sauce and equal parts bleu cheese orranch. Taste it…if it doesn’t have that subtle heat at the end, add more buffalo. If it gets too hot, add more dressing.
Once you have it how you like it, top with the cheddar and put in a 350 degree oven for about 15 minutes. Ready to go.

3. Go on the web and find a piece of porn you like, and send it to me.

4. You are only permitted to use your fingers on your clit today.

Have a good saturday.

This morning I have been a very very good girl. I remembered my stretches. I went to the store and bought all the ingredients. I will be making the food shortly after I am done with this post. I am going over to one of Sylvanus’s coworker’s house for a bonfire. It’s certainly not CA weather here for that sort of thing, but at least there will be a warm fire.

I guess I might as well share the little clips of porn that attracted my attention. The first one that I sent my Master was this one. I just liked how this guy used her. One of my fave parts was how he fucked her mouth. Did you notice he wiped it up for her too? What a sweet guy.

I was only required to send him one porn clip, however, this one caught my eye too and I just had to share. One chick, 2 cocks, both in her cunt. I was trying to imagine what it would feel like to have 2 cocks inside my cunt at once. I’m wondering what it feels like for the men as well? I loved watching the cocks stroking her cunt before diving right back in and then watching the cum spill out of her around the cocks. Very hot in my opinion.

As I am watching porn, I realize that I really love it when a girl gets it from behind. I mean, I really love taking it from behind. It’s so primal and raw. It’s why I love it so much. That animalistic sense of it all. I feel like such a dirty slut in that position and I love it. I love being fucked by him. I love feeling his hands on my body, grabbing my flesh or hair and just pounding into me. I feel so free and liberated. Foul words escape my lips with the greatest of ease. I don’t know why but I just love getting fucked from behind. Maybe not being face to face with my lover adds to the intensity of the experience. It could be anybody back there.

I have switched to using the njoy medium sized pure plug. It’s actually quite the difference in size. I could feel the difference as it entered me and I could feel it stretching inside. I really really love this plug. It is still so very comfortable to wear and I wore it all day to do my normal chores. It is however, a little more harder to pull back out. lol. I gave myself that orgasm I am permitted to when I wear my plug for at least 4 hours (and yes I only used my fingers on my clit) and removing the plug afterward was a lot harder than the small one!

I’m so very excited… the final count down begins!

6 days until my husband is in my arms again

my njoy pure plugs sizes sm and med

day 19

Master sent me a new task today. It is as follows:

1. Remember your stretching.

2. Please keep track of your collar.

3. Today – wear your I *heart* pirates t-shirt, burgundy bra I got you from lacy lady, and jeans. Socks, shoes, and jacket as appropriate.

4. Go to the zoo today. I want you to find five places in the zoo where you would have enough privacy to be inappropriate with me. Describe them, and what we would be doing. There is no need to be inappropriate. just picture it.

5. When you get home – Set the timer on your phone for thirty minutes. Remove your clothes. Bind your wrists to the bed so you are unable to touch yourself. Think of one of those spots in particular. Imagine the scene, second by second. Then..replace me with subject 2 from yesterday. Imagine him teasing you, exploiting for his pleasure there at the zoo…then there in that bed, bound up, helpless to resist.

6. When the timer on the phone goes off…you may free your hands and rub yourself to orgasm.

Enjoy your day.

Today I was much better about doing all my tasks. Well, it was certainly nice of Master to remind me of the things I was quite forgetful of yesterday. As you can see, I had to go to the local zoo and pick 5 places he and I could be inappropriate. What I discovered was, my zoo is actually so well laid out, that it is hard to find a place to have some privacy. Especially on a day like today! The zoo was super crowded. I have been there when it was almost empty before. What a huge difference. So here is my list of places I did find.

Location 1: The show area.
In the front of the zoo is a small stage area with limited seating for a little show. This stage area has panels to create a backstage area. Posted, of course, are “employees only beyond this point” signs. Here, I picture Sylvanus and I slipping behind backstage. I can see myself getting down on my knees while he takes out his hard erection and I suck him till he tells me I have done enough, or we get caught *wink*.

Location 2: The Backroad
Towards the front area of the zoo is a back road. There also happens to be one animal exhibit down there. It’s a little out of the way and not normally high in traffic. It’s mostly open to be wheel chair accessible. Going the other way is just too steep. I see this road to also be a way for employees to get around as it does run behind one of the main buildings. When the zoo is not busy, I can see this being a nice little secluded spot for two lovers to enjoy themselves. I can see Sylvanus and I making out here. He takes my hands and pins them above my head while he kisses me furiously and runs his hand over my breasts, squeezing them. His hand would then run down my body and slip beneath my skirt where his fingers caress my wet cunt.

Location 3: Covered picnic area that overlooks part of the backroad
Not very secluded but I can see us having some very secretive fun of we take a table all the way in the back. I can sit on his lap while his hands sneek beneath my skirt. Or, we stand together, against the barrier, overlooking the back part of the zoo. He stands behind me, pressing his cock into my backside. His hand moves forward and runs along my body. His lips trace my ear and neck. I reach back, feeling his erection. He unzips and I can feel the warmth of his soft cock skin against my fingertips. Maybe, just maybe, he can slip his fingers into my cunt and fuck me before anyone notices. Gawd I would love it if he could bend me over a table and fuck me.

Location 4: Hillside by the polar bear exhibit
The zoo is within a park. There are a lot of sloping hillsides. There is one area that I picked to be an opportunity for Sylvanus and I to possibly go all the way. It would still be tricky to get away with it. It’s not overly secluded. This one would require us to bring a blanket. It’s not a well maintained area and personally I don’t need leaves and sticks stuck to my entire body. I can see us quickly walking down the hill when an opportunity reveals itself. We lay the blankets down and press ourselves into the security of the hillside. Here we can get lost in each others bodies and explore any way we like. All the while checking to see who is watching.

Location 5: Hut
There is a little area called the backyard hut. It’s hard to describe. It has a little fenced in area with plants and a pond. I should mention the fence is rather high and you can’t see through or above it. You follow the path to a hut. It looks like this hut normally has a few videos playing but today it was quiet. Sylvanus and I can sneak away into the hut, press ourselves against the wall and make out. Hands can wander all over our bodies. If we are feeling very adventurous, I can face him, holding his cock in my hand. When a threat of discovery approaches, I just press myself against him as he holds me tight as we act like to lovers embracing. Getting daring enough and I may just suck his cock a few times.

Once I got home, I spent a little time briefly chatting with Master before he went out for the night. I fixed myself something to eat and watched a show. After, I was feeling pretty meh. I wasn’t excited about going up to the bedroom and doing the rest of the task at hand. I wasn’t sure I’d be happy to dedicate 30 min of imagining a scenario. I wasn’t exactly in an aroused  mood to begin with. I made it up the stairs anyways, stripped my clothes off and got under the covers. I strapped my wrists into velcro cuffs and then attached both to the same point on my under the bed restraints. I sat back and decided to pick Location 3, the covered picnic area. I began by thinking about Sylvanus and I. I would be wearing my butt plug and a skirt with no panties. We’d be standing against the railing. he behind me. He’d press his erection against me, running his hands along my body. Dipping his fingers within my skirt, he’d play with my clit. His hands would move up to my throat as he held onto me while whispering how much of a fucking slut I am and how he should fuck me right here on the table.

My mind then went to Subject 2. He was rough with me. Telling me how much of a whore I was as he pressed into me, forcing my ribs to press against the railing. I felt my breath catch and the bruising begin to form. He unzipped his pants, took his cock out and shoved it into my cunt and just held it there. He leaned over, whispering in my ear how much he loved using me while pointing out in front of us so that passers by merely thought he was being an affectionate tour guide.

I remember wanting him to fuck me so badly on the tables there, that my mind drifted to my own kitchen table here. This is where I let my mind wander from the exact task at hand. I became obsessed with the table. My mind no longer stayed on 2 but would float back to Sylvanus as well. My hips began rocking in the bed and I flipped myself over so that I was now face down on the bed. I wanted to get fucked on the table. My hands were bound to either side. My feet hung off the edge, barely touching the floor. Subject 2 pounded me from behind. “What do you think of me fucking you right here on your table? You little whore. The very table where your Master lays out the wonderful food he prepares. The very table where you entertain your dinner guests. Ah but look at you now, you are still entertaining your guest aren’t you?” He’s driving his cock into me and my hips begin bouncing on the bed as I imagine this. Oh yes, I want to be fucked on the table. I imagine Sylvanus doing it to me now, I’m surrounded by some other male friends he invited over for “dinner”. Suddenly a new erotic piece floods my mind of me being the center of attention. On all fours on the table, presenting myself to the guests. An apple is placed into my mouth like the good little slut pig I am. Carrot and celery sticks are dipped into my folds. I am then bound to the table where Sylvanus fucks me hard. My plug removed and replaced with a whole cucumber. Every man has his way with me. Oh yes… there will be a new erotic piece written from this little naughty fantasy.

When the timer finally went off, I grabbed one of my more powerful vibes and set it on the highest setting. I placed it beneath me and pressed myself against it. I was obsessed with playing out the “bound to the table fantasy”, so I found a way to bind my wrists on each side of the bed. Then I let my mind wander and I took it from behind as I ground myself into the vibe and nearly came instantly.

I have been a good girl today. I have remembered all of my tasks and I look forward to what tomorrow may bring… and look.. only 1 week till my husband comes home!!!

7 days till my husband is in my arms again

day 18

Today, Master had a new task for me to complete. I was to go to the local mall and do a little bit of people watching. Here is the task as it was giving to me by Master:

Go to [........] mall, perhaps around lunch time. You are people-watching. Bring a notepad. I want you to pick five people that catch your eye and ask yourself the following questions about them:

What is under those clothes? Are they pierced, tattoo’d? Do they shave, or wax, or grow wild?

How would they fuck me? Would there be foreplay? On top or under me? Would they talk dirty?

Afterward – do they snuggle or roll away? Would they like my kink? How would they react to discovering my butt plug?

Every person has a sexuality lurking beneath that created image they present to the world…imagine what it’s like.

You are to email me about the five you choose. Describe them, and what you imagined. Tell me how you think they would react to your sexuality. Imagine the discovery.

For this task, I wore my Lady Gaga “I’m a free bitch shirt.” It goes well with my black collar. Of course I had my plug inserted. I drove to the mall and once I entered, I noticed there was a Starbucks kiosk with many chairs and tables around. I figured this was a good location to sit down, plug in my iPod and just observe.

Subject 1: He barely caught my eye. Once I realized that the task wasn’t necessarily about observing people I am sexually attracted to, I looked up and there he was. He was quickly passing by, probably on his way out of the mall for lunch. I’m thinking he could have been a department store employee, though I saw no name tag. Most employees remove their tags anyway when they leave the store.

He was of average body type though a *little* more on the chubby side. He wore black slacks and a black dress shirt with the only colors coming from his tie. His hair was blond and nicely gelled. I could see no visible ink nor piercings. In my imagination, he didn’t have any hiding.I’m definitely guessing he’s a boxers type of man. I’m also guessing his hair grows wild down there.

Why did he catch my eye: He looks like a good boy. Not someone I think I want to go to bed with, but he wanted a good time, he would call me, because I would blow his mind.

What I imagine: He’s a good boy and though he is into sex, he sticks with the basic. He covers the basics of foreplay by fondling my breasts, bestowing kisses on me and occasionally pleasing my kitty. Getting a blow job from me makes him feel a bit naughty. He’s more of a missionary man. Definitely not comfortable with nudity and will either cover up right away or put some of his clothes back on. He’s a victim of the “sock gap” (seriously watch the link, you’ll LOL) Climbing on top of him for sex would be a huge surprise. He is not dominant to me nor submissive. He’s just a shy lover with very much to learn. My kinky side would blow him away… and scare him away. Seeing my plug would cause him to assume I’m just some crazy and slutty girl, but I did just give him some amazing sex. So there must be something wrong with him.

Being someone who prefers to make love over having sex, he’s a snuggler. Good luck getting any dirty talk out of this guy. He’d hide in a corner, sucking his thumb and asking for mommy if I went all Domme on him.

Subject 2: Caught my eye while he was sitting at a table across the way eating his lunch. He was average build, a *little* more on the chubby side. He wore t-shirt and jeans. Guessing he’s a boxer man. His hair was cut real short, brown in color.No visible tattoos or piercings. I’m guessing he let’s his hair grow wild down there.

Why did he catch my eye?: It was his girlfriend (?). She was on the chubbier side, long blond hair and absolutely not impressed. She looked bored to be with him.

What I imagine: Oh he’s a dirty boy alright. I’m guessing he doesn’t get what he needs from his girl and needs something rough on the side. I’m guessing he’s got a tatt, possibly even a nipple piercing. Foreplay? What’s foreplay to him. With me, it’s all about his needs and desires. It’s all about getting me ready to take him. Sure he could pinch my nipples and lick my pussy, but he does these things because he wants to touch me or taste me, not because he thinks I’ll like it. He’d definitely do me doggie style. It’s been awhile since he could really fuck a woman. He’d push me down, grab my hips and ram into me. With him, there is no concern for my orgasm. He wants to hear me grunt and groan and scream. He loves that I’m a kinky slut. He can use me any way he likes. He’d spank me, spit on me and call me names. My butt plug would just be fuel to his fire. He’d rip it out of me just to shove it back in continuously and when I can’t take it anymore, he’d rip it out of me and shove his cock inside me fucking me hard in my ass. Oh yeah, he’d come inside my ass and watch it drip out, before plugging the rest of his cum back in.

With him, there is no rolling over or snuggling. He’d fuck me and leave me… and call me anytime he wants more and I’d give it to him. Oh yes, I’d take it from him.

Subject 3: He was walking by and headed into the jewelry store. I guess he has a special lady in his life. Dressed in jeans, a white shirt and dress shirt. He was bald by choice, lean physique. I’m guessing he is nicely trimmed down there and definitely a briefs or boxer briefs type guy. No visible tattoos, but he did have an ear pierced. I think he was of part middle eastern decent.

What I imagine: He is a good lover. Respectful of woman. Pays close attention to details. He wants to please a woman as much as a woman pleases him. He’s the type of guy a woman would be thrilled dating. He’s handsome and successful. He’s the type of guy you marry to have a stable life. Your parents love him, your friends are jealous of him, you make beautiful children together, you get fancy cars and clothes and he loves and adores you. But, the sex is too loving and predictable. You want a little spice! You want him to rough it up a bit.

My sex with him would be good. As I mentioned, he’s a great lover. We’d have a lot of fun together. We’d try out all kinds of positions. Neither one of us would be more dominant than the other. He’d be open to trying new things. Being a little kinky to him would be spankings and handcuffs and blindfolds. My kinky side would be a little too much. I’d have to keep it quiet. My plug would be a surprise and he would love to feel what it feels like to fuck me while I am wearing it, but there is NO way he’s trying the plug. He’s a snuggler afterward but then he will roll away to fall asleep.

Subject 4: He was getting coffee. Another one bald by choice, wearing a green hoodie and jeans. He was in good shape physically. No visible tatts or piercings, but I am guessing he has a tatt. I think he was a boxers type of man and he kept himself trimmed down there.

What I imagine: He just wants to have fun. He loves sex and wants to have a good time. He’s open minded. He and I would not be limited to just one position. He does like it rough and would want me to be rough with him as well. Definitely into learning about my kinks and indulging in them. My plug is awesome to him and he would love to tug on it while we fuck. Oh and he loves to pull my hair. He’s the type of guy that is comfortable laughing during sex. Something silly happen? No problem, just laugh it off and keep going.

Subject 5: Just when I thought a woman would never catch my eye today… there she was, walking out of a clothing store. She was there and gone in a blink of an eye. Long dirty blond hair. It was hard to see her physique but she looked to be thin. What about her caught my attention? She was wearing a trench coat! A brown trench coat, in stockings and heels. No visible tatts or piercings that I could see.

What I imagine: Underneath that trench coat was a dress and underneath that was a black laced bra with matching panties and garter holding up her thigh high stockings. She probably has one silly tattoo from her youth. She leads a secret life. For those she knows, she’s a good woman who works hard and lead a “normal” life, but I am her guilty pleasure. We rendez vous weekly. Sometimes we meet at a hotel, sometimes at my place and even occasionally hers. We spend hours tumbling in the sheets. Our focus is on each other. We bring each other pleasure with our lips, tongues and fingertips. Sometimes we just like to lounge around and run our fingertips along each others bodies and hair. She likes that I am different than her. She likes my openness and carefree attitude. We share dirty little secrets. We are each others dirty little secret. Sometimes we get kinky and rough with each other, other times one will focus on the other. She likes my kinky side and enjoys learning new things about herself that way. Sometimes one will dominate over the other when we are in the mood for that sort of thing. Fucking each other with a strap on is a huge step. We find our freedom and liberation with each other. She’s definitely a snuggler but can never stay for too long. It’s back to her normal life for her where she holds me as her dirty little secret.

This exercise was a lot of fun to do. At first I didn’t really want to do it, but knew I would for him. It’s interesting how we can type cast someone just by looking at them. I wonder how people type cast me when they see me? When asked the same questions about me, how do they respond?

-

Today I failed with one of my tasks. I completely forgot to do my 10 minutes of morning stretching that are required of me by Master. In doing so, Master punished me by not allowing me my orgasm for removal of my plug. So, I sadly removed my plug earlier today without the orgasm that usually accompanies it. Tonight, I have reinserted the plug and I can’t wait to have my orgasm. I will also be taking some naughty pics that I plan on sharing with Master and Crush. I also did my stretches this afternoon. Sadly, I have to say, my forgetful mind has done it again. I took my black leather collar off to go to Jazzercise class. I do not want to sweat in it, plus I am allowed to take it off when I know I will be meeting/interacting with people in the “vanilla” world. I forgot to put my public collar on in it’s place. *frowns* I put my black leather collar back on immediately after my shower though. I know Master will have something to say about this in the morning.

8 days until my husband is back in my arms again.

day 17 and an hnt

It’s been a roller coaster really. I easily fume up and have to tell myself to take a step back and get the full picture. When I wrote my post yesterday, there was a pit in my stomach. Something from the day wasn’t quite settling, but I wasn’t going to take my assumptions and write them in a post. Besides, it wouldn’t have helped. What I needed was to talk to my husband.

Yesterday, I became aware of a piece of information, not from my husband but by another. As you may have read here, Sylvanus and I are free to play with other people over the net or telephone. The only rule is, we are open and honest about what we are doing and with whom. Details do not need to be shared. Though I knew that my husband had started playing with another, I didn’t know that he had actually taken her on as a sub.

I caught wind of what he was doing with her through things I saw her say and though I do not have a problem with this, I was hurt. Anyone who has been reading us long enough, know that D/s was a very big part of our lives at one point. Yes, it has faded as his past job got more demanding and emotionally he was not up for anything more than having a loving and supportive wife. For the most part, I am ok with this, but I am naturally submissive and I still crave that interaction. He, as a loving husband, has been supportive of me finding that interaction else where. I have been unsuccessful so far in finding someone to fill those shoes on a regular basis. Wouldn’t you know it? I’m attracted to intelligent and successful people and they rarely have a lot of extra time on their hands. So…. when I saw that Sylvanus had taken on another sub, I was hurt, because *I* wanted this for myself and now someone else was getting it from him and it wasn’t  me.

I tried to get to sleep last night. “Crush” helped me by listening and being supportive. I tossed and turned in bed and finally decided I needed to write my husband. I needed to let him know that I don’t have a problem with this interaction he is having, but I was feeling hurt by it.

He and I talked it through via emails since he was at work. He assured me that his interactions with sub would lead to grand interactions with me. He felt it necessary to start with a new sub, one not very experienced in being a sub, so that he could rebuild his confidence and settle into his Dom shoes once more.  He felt that my tastes had grown to be more sophisticated since meeting and being with Mistress Kyra. That he felt I required much more than simple little tasks. This is where I had to correct Sylvanus. Mistress Kyra and I had a SM relationship. She was my sadist and I her good little masochist. She dished out the pain and I took it in the best of my ability. I would never say that Mistress Kyra and I had a D/s relationship. I had Sylvanus for that. He was my D/s when Kyra was my pain giver.

Right now, I have no desire to be a pain slut. It’s been too long. My body is not ready and it needs to be trained once more. My mind needs to be in the right place too. I need to feel that deep connection with someone in order to accept the pain. What I want right now are the little things, the rules and tasks. I want the mind fuck more than anything. Yes, I still want my spankings, paddlings, bondage, nipple clamps and more.

Once Sylvanus and I were able to exchange our thoughts and understand where each one of us were coming from, a new plan began. He simply asked… “Do you want some tasks?” Of course I answered, “yes.”

So today I received a few emails with things to come and things for the immediate future… I shall share them with you here:

First off, a rule:

Do not cut your hair. I will determine how I want it cut, and how I want you to look. For now, I want you to grow it out, so I have a nice ponytail to grab when I want.

You need to focus on keeping your body in the optimal state for fucking. Your body is my primary source of pleasure, and I want it kept for that purpose above all others. To that end:

You must spend ten minutes every morning stretching.  The emphasis is on leg/hip flexibility, but do not neglect the rest of you. Remind yourself this is for your master’s pleasure.

As an ongoing task: You may continue with jazzercise, because you are enjoying it, but I want you to find a pole dance/lap dance class. This is for two reasons: 1. I want it. 2. I think you will be probably find more people like us through there.

For today: you need to wear a butt plug. I will want your ass available to me in the future – and as my pleasure object, I want you to make it ready for me. When you are able to pleasurably use the vamp (a dildo) on your ass, I will let you have my cock, and a back tattoo. The tattoo is important to me: I want to modify your body, and lay my claim to it.

Back to the task at hand: wear the plug for a minimum of four hours. When you wish to remove it, you must first masturbate, including an orgasm. Going forward – you are not permitted to remove anything from your ass without coming first.

That is enough for today, Little One. I’m sure there is much to think about here. Obviously, I expect you to continue pursuing worthy candidates for your attentions on Twitter.

and now the second:

For the future:

When I return, I will want my cunt waxed. Not shaved. Have this done at least 24 hours before so you will have recovered.

You are not permitted to put anything inside my cunt until I return. The next next thing that fills you will be my cock.

You are only permitted to come either on my order, or within the context of playing with another.

These rules are meant to enhance your sexuality, not limit it. You are never to pass on an experience for fear of violating my rules.

Lastly: you should begin wearing the black collar in place of the silver collar. The silver can only be worn at public vanilla functions. Ordinary tasks where you are not expected to meet people must be carried out in the leather.

As you can see, Master Sylvanus has given me much to remember and to carry out! I’m very very excited. I have already made my appointment for waxing. I have NEVER waxed.

Today I wore my black collar while carrying out all tasks in or around our house. I ran two errands today and I switched back into my public collar for those. I wore my plug all day today. Every time I felt it’s weight, it made me wet. I knew that I would be giving myself an orgasm later in order for it to be removed.  It was a fantastic orgasm too.

Master and I went on Skype and he had me set up the fuck throne with a clitoral vibe attached instead of the dildo. I was told to grind myself into an orgasm. It felt really good, but what made me go over the edge was watching him stand up and take his hard cock out and start stroking it. Immediately, I felt the pleasure build faster and stronger as I watched his hand run up and down his cock. I began to hunger for it and imagine it inside me. I came beautifully and then Master granted me the vision of his own orgasm.

After the gym today, I took a shower and immediately put my black collar on and inserted the plug. I plan on having an orgasm tonight for my Master because I was a good girl and wore my plug for another 4 hours.

9 days until my husband is in my arms again

little black collar

day 16

It’s one thing to say you are ok with your husband playing with others and a whole other story to see it happening. This morning my thoughts roamed to how I would really feel about my husband playing with others in all the ways one can. I found it somewhat liberating. Well, if you look at it this way, it means I don’t have to be the only sexual being in his life. That, when I’m not up for things, someone else can pick up my slack. What it does mean is, my husband isn’t out searching for fulfillment because his wife isn’t doing it for him. What it does mean, is that he’s happily enjoying the liberties that we have given each other and in turn will only benefit us. As long as he and I are always honest with each other and we always make each other a priority, there can only be good. This definitely means making sure we are not giving ourselves to others in a way that we want from each other.

Last night I was greeted with a pleasant surprise. A man made himself known as an admirer of mine. Saying that I intrigued him. His words were full of flattery. Most of the time, I am one to easily discard such words. I have a nasty habit of believing people only tell me what I want to hear. Regardless, I decided to give this new Crush a chance. we spent the next hour or so exchanging many private messages, lightly flirting and getting to know each other. By the end of the evening, he had convinced me that I wanted to get to know him and see what possibilities unfolded.

I asked him to write me, so that I would have something to read in the morning. He went above and beyond. He sent me a very lengthy email that had a lot of thought put into it. What a breath of fresh air! Something that didn’t consist of a paragraph and a picture of a cock. I answered him with my own equally lengthy email. So far, things have been on the flirty side, nothing heavy, but I’m looking forward to seeing where things go.

Though my husband and I spent a little time online together today, it didn’t seem enough. I am sad because we didn’t get a chance to Skype and see each other. We talked on the phone though. I’m missing him.

10 days till my husband is in my arms again