HNT ~ Halloween

Our little Kinderwhore is studying up so she have a big party this weekend.

hey there it is!

One of my self discoveries that resulted from our foursome the other night, was that it had been a long time since I had been verbally expressive with Sylvanus. I expressed this to Sylvanus as we laid in bed and told him that I think I would get very jealous if I saw him do things with another girl that he doesn’t do with me. Talking dirty is one of these things. He doesn’t talk dirty to me as much as he used to and I know this has to do with the fact that I don’t with him anymore. We contemplated that this could be because my flirty mouth had gotten me in trouble with our relationship a few times. Regardless of the reason, I wanted it to be fixed. So Sylvanus and I agreed that practice makes perfect.

My first lesson, sucking his cock while he spoke filthy things to me.

I moved between his legs and took him into my mouth. Immediately his mouth spilled words of filth. Telling me how much he loved how I sucked his cock. I took him in deep and he told me how much he wanted me to choke on his dick. How he could feel my thick saliva spilling out of my mouth and down his shaft. He made me tell him how much I loved sucking his cock. I loved being his little cock slut.

My fingers wandered down his balls and to his perineum. I began rimming his hole gently. His moans escalated and he expressed how much he wanted to be penetrated. Sylvanus handed me the lube and squeezed a very generous amount on my fingers. I spread the wetness all over his hole and rubbed my finger back and forth. I became aware of the length of my finger nails and though my pinky is my skinniest finger, my middle finger had a very short nail. I decided to use the middle finger and began to slowly push it into his ass. He moaned and his body slowly let me inside of him. I wasn’t going to push myself too far inside him, being as it was my first time truly penetrating him. I then recalled however, the hardest part about anal, is the entry. Once you get past that, things are a little easier. So instead, I pushed myself a little farther, so that I can rock my finger back and forth with little to no discomfort for him.

Ah but here’s a challenge! My right hand was now stimulating his ass and my left was on his cock. I am right handed so I was concerned that I wouldn’t be able to stroke his cock properly with my left. I got over that quickly and worked his cock with my mouth and left hand while I worked my finger in his ass. I stroked him rapidly until he told me to slow down. I slowed my pace, keeping it steady, as my finger continued to fuck his ass.

I then had a thought. Hmmm… I have never stimulated a prostate before. Perhaps I should try to find it? I curled my finger, much like I would if I were finding a g spot. His moans increased but I wasn’t sure if that was it. I pushed in a bit farther and suddenly felt a soft ball of tissue. I barely grazed it with my fingertip and Sylvanus’s moan increased. Hmm… perhaps I have found something here?

I push my finger in a bit farther, pushing on what I am guessing to be the prostate. He moans even louder. Alright, I do have something here. Now my finger goes for it and I begin stroking and pushing into the gland. Sylvanus is convulsing beneath me and his moans turn to screams and “oh gods”. I continue, hungry to give him an orgasm. He begins yelling “yes yes yes, oh god yes” before he finally releases himself. He screams loudly as his bitter seed explodes into my mouth. My finger inside him feels the gland swell and pulsate and the muscles of his ass contract rapidly and tightly around my finger. I smile thinking this must be how I feel when I cum around Sylvanus’s fingers. I swallow him down, slowing down my strokes and fingering. Very gently, I slide my finger out of his ass before taking my mouth off of his cock.

“And that my dear,” I wickedly grin. “is prostate stimulation. I take it you liked?”

Yes he liked. He said it was a very intense feeling. He was expecting the good feeling to be located at the gland I was stimulating but instead he said he felt it along his cock. Either way, it looks like I’ll be indulging him with more prostate stimulation in his future.

Lost Things

It was a shitty day today.

It’s not widely known, yet, but last week I came to an agreement with my employer that I have the rest of the year to find a new job. As of 2010, I will be unemployed, unless I find something. This knowledge is not public, and it has not been shared past him and I. Of course, my boss has not throttled back on the verbal floggings, and, if anything, has only become more intensely abusive, and more frequently. Emotionally, it has not been hitting me as hard, but the fact getting told you’re an idiot on a regular basis by someone who clearly resents paying you always does something.

Today there was another mistake that floated through when some people in the front office made a change, and it turned out weird in the results. So, there was another mess, and I was getting yelled at. Again. I went back and talked to my guys, explained the mistake, and starting doing the writeups. As I was getting ready do the writeup, I kept Lucy in my office. Lucy is my assistant. She is a smart, young Mexican, who works hard and does great work. Since I started working here, I have turned her career around and really raised her up, and she is amazingly loyal to me. After sending the other miscreants out of my office, I looked a Lucy helplessly.

“I don’t know what I’m going to do. I just know that at this rate, I won’t be long for this company.” Suddenly she got very emotional.

“Don’t give up!” Tears were welling up in her eyes. (Of course, she is unaware that my fate is sealed.) We spent more time talking about what had happened in my department since I took over. Two years ago, morale was sky-high, productivity was way up, and people were getting better. I had people in my department passing on avenues for advancement because they wanted to keep working for me. But slowly I started getting heat from above, that people in my department thought it was a party. When a mistake came through, I would get clear instructions that I was to “shove a baseball bat up someone’s ass till comes out their mouth.” I started taking more and more heat for not being tough enough. So I started getting tougher. As Lucy pointed out, “They were trying to turn you into another Harold.”

Harold, who runs our shop across the hall. His shop is amazing operation: efficient, precise, and reliable. And, all of these processes are as reliable as the sunrise. But he runs it like an army, and is brutal on his employees. Harold is also a prima donna and gets treated like one, but since he runs a daaaaaaaaamned good shop, he’s earned that right. (No argument here. His shop is that fucking good.) But the positive relationships I had built over the months were now poisoned. People don’t give a crap anymore, and why should they? Just like me, they go from ass-kicking to ass-kicking. In Lucy’s artless honesty, I knew why I was failing as a manager: I had let someone else tell me how to manage.

It would take a long time to rebuild these relationships, and I don’t think people will soon forget the asshole. But I won’t have that much time, in any case. I see the pattern from my boss infecting a lot of my interactions: his sarcastic, combative dismissals; the refusals to admit anything; the casual insults. He always says “don’t take it personally,” but then levels an avalanche of inescapably personal criticism. And I can see what that poison has done.

But he never will.

—

My heart’s not in it at work any more. I’m like Jake Gittes back when he worked in Chinatown. At home, it’s been, complicated, as we sort through our differing experiences in the wake of our encounter with Don and Amy. I am slowly coming around to understanding her point of view, but for a long time this morning I truthfully felt very foolish, as my post about the experience sat at the top of our blog, getting happy comments, but I knew what Mina’s post held in the near future. As Mina added her postscript to it all, which helped bring some clarity to it, I was able to find some peace. At the same time, Mina is also flirting with two guys whom I have been considering adding to our bedroom in a very different context, for a very different purpose. For those who think the foursome was “all for me” (and there have been several) then this is something “all for her.” Of course, neither one really works out that way. Nothing would happen if weren’t both getting something from it, even if it isn’t the exact same thing. However, as I am running aground in very shallow waters at work, an unexpected stream of naughty photos of Mina appearing CC’d in my email for another guy just didn’t quite hit the right note at that point.

—

This afternoon, there was a very near disaster in my life. Winds in Los Angeles went soaring into gale force today. As Mina was finishing her walk with our pup, a tree began to crack. She jammed herself in the small alcove by our front door as the tree gave way, collapsing against our house, scraping the mailbox off the front. The branches whipped inches past her face and the dog. You can see how close the tree landed here. (that’s the threshhold at the bottom of the picture) Amazingly, the mailbox was the only damage, though our entire driveway and front yard are covered in downed tree. I brought a reciprocating saw home, and hacked off most of the branches, clearing footpaths to the front and back, but leaving the trunk, which was too big for my saw to handle, blocking the driveway for the city to dispose of. Until the tree is cleared, Mina can’t use her car.

I’m exhausted from the combination of emotional journey, professional abuse, near tragedy, and physical labor. I reflect a lot of what has been lost, and what was nearly lost. Had Mina been less alert, or less than her usually-observant self, I might be in a hospital right now, hoping for the best. The truth is that I live a very privileged life. I make more money than parents ever did, I went to college (which they never did), I have a master’s, I have a very colorful and exotic sex life, I have enjoying some of the most amazing food on the planet, and been in some of the most exclusive places in the world. It’s easy to focus on all the things I have lost that I would rather still have. I could make myself very sad or very angry if I wanted to do that.At the end of the day, though, I want to be happy. Most nights I can simply enjoy the peace of holding my wife and letting my mind slowly exhaust itself, under the thoughts dwindle away.

But not all nights.

personal discovery

Because we weren’t going to post anything without Don and Amy’s approval, this post has been sitting in drafts for a few days. I wrote the first half of this post the morning after (Sunday). Today I have more thoughts to add, so I will just add them at the end, instead of rewriting or editing what I have already. -mina

You end up learning more about yourself interestingly, during the aftermath of a light foursome with another couple. Since Sylvanus has already told you the story of what happened, I decided I’d rather write about what I walked away with from the experience.

It’s interesting, because for as long as Sylvanus and I have been together, he has been quite possessive over me. My flirtatious online interactions have been sore spots in our relationship. We learned how to deal with these things, compromise and move on from there. I had gotten quite used to the thought that there would probably never be more people involved in our relationship, except for maybe the right woman.

So it’s been a little strange having to get used to this new Sylvanus. The Sylvanus that wants to see me play with other people, likes watching me suck another man’s cock and still wants to see me get fucked by another man. In a way, the thought definitely excites me and at the same time I feel like I am “all talk and no play.” That I sit here and say I want these things and yet slink away when presented the opportunity. I guess it’s just nerves and shyness.

Explosion

This post was originally written about 1:40 AM in a buzzed haze right after Don and Amy had left. I’ve held back until they had a chance to see it. Now they have, so it’s your turn.

So, we have been purposely silent for most of the week. Let’s break the silence now.

On Tuesday we went on a date with Don and Amy. This couple is amazingly sexy, as she carries an exotic flair and a charming accent, and he has a thoughtful dementedness that I appreciate. We had dinner for about three or four hours, which seemed to fly by, much of the conversation mired the murkiest waters of kink, as we came to know one another. Don was like me, tall in stature but more solidly built, where Amy was tall and slender. I found that Amy was amazingly like Mina in her love of every new surprise, and that Don brought a certain deviousness I could play off of effortlessly. It was a fun night and a great first “date.” Mina later commented that she could see Don and I planning very elaborate evenings for her and Amy. I burst out loud laughing because I envisioned the same thing.

On Wednesday we had another date, with Ed and Sarah. We had a great time with them, as well, as we lapsed from 7:30 PM to 1 AM in a flash. Although there were possibilities, that same sort of easy sexiness just wasn’t there. We certainly enjoyed their company, and would hang out with them any time, but there wasn’t that combustible air to it. On Thursday, we were meeting with an old friend, but I got back in touch with Don, and he agreed that the Wednesday had gone well. We began discussing possibilities for another get-together. We spoke on the phone Thursday night to discuss where everyone was at. No bodily fluids, same room sex, we are all cool. Come Friday, we were looking at a Saturday date. By Friday night, Don and Amy were coming over, and I was planning tapas for dinner. Okay, rock on.

So, Saturday comes, and by noon I am getting ready to do prep for dinner. Mina knows I’m excited, because I actually vacuumed the house while she walked the dog. (I am consistently awful when it comes to cleaning chores about the house. Cooking, no problem. But I clean close to nothing. It stood out enough for Mina to tease me, “You must really want to fuck these people.”) I started cooking tapas, including chorizo-stuffed empanadas, mortadella-wrapped toast, and tortillas de patatas. Unfortunately, the tortillas de patatas bombed, so that course got scotched. It’s another sign I am over-excited, when I start getting super-picky about my cooking. At 4:30, I get a text from Don that he and Amy are super-excited about coming tonight. As 6 rolls around I start to get nervous. At 6:02, I get a text message from Don that he is two minutes away. A few phone calls as I help him find our house, and suddenly, here they are.

I invite them in, receiving a warm hug from Amy, (it helps that she is from a place that always does warm hugs) who also hugged Mina. We came in, and began snacking on Tapa #1 (french bread toast with honey and cream cheese wrapped in prosciutto and mortadella). We chit-chatted for a bit, which came incredibly easy to all four of us as I worked on Tapa #2. I served Don some absinthe while Mina and Amy worked on Lemoncello and I had vodka and ice. As dinner progressed, talk continued and became more overtly sexual as we talked about our kinks. I had the misfortune of planning my drinking poorly, and at about 8 I was severely over-intoxicated. I took a quick bathroom break as I tried to sort through the chemical haze. Every time I closed my eyes the world began spinning around me. I could feel empanadas threatening to re-emerge. I carefully sat out of the conversation, interjecting only in moments as I let my body process the poison in my system while I worked on a glass of water. Luckily, half an hour later, I was feeling lucid and functional again, and was ready to go.

The conversation turned to weaponry, and so I helpfully retrieved the crop from our bedroom. While there, I lit the candles. We had to set a scene. When I returned, I provided the crop to Don who wanted to experimentally try it out on Amy, who helpfully got up from her chair and provided her ass for whipping. Turns out that even so wicked a crop as ours doesn’t do much through jeans. To help explain the crop’s potential, I slipped over to the computer to show them what the crop had done to Mina in the past. Amy sat in Don’s lap as we went through it. As we got to the end, they were excited, and Amy started kissing Don. The kisses didn’t stop, and they started to make out. I beckoned Mina over and we did the same. We paused for a moment here and there to look at our guests. Don’s hand was holding Amy’s breast, then going between her thighs. As Mina and I broke our kiss to watch, I lifted her hands up and put them on Amy’s exposed back above her halter top. Amy clearly enjoyed the attention, but then a screech from one of our animals pierced the room. I sighed and asked our guests if they would like to move to the bedroom.

They did.

We got there, candles aglow, and Don and Amy immediately resumed making out again, only this time with greater intensity. Mina and I matched them, as we all stood at the foot of the bed furiously making out. The room filled with a chorus of heavy breaths and lips kissing. Again, I stopped to watch, enjoying the sparkling intensity of their passion before I again pushed Mina towards Amy. This time, she was welcomely received, and Amy broke her kiss with Don to turn her attentions to Mina. Soon the scene lapsed chaotic. Clothes would be half undone by one person and pushed off by another. Don would take the tops off Mina and Amy, and Amy would help me and Don out of ours. Amy would kiss Mina, then pass her to Don, and she and I would in turn begin kissing. As that moment grew static, she would shift back to Don. I looked over, and suddenly Don’s pants were down and Amy’s head was bobbing furiously along his cock. I pulled Mina down who smiled and happily took my own cock in her mouth. I watched the scene for a moment, as Amy and Mina pleasured their respective men, and, characteristically, I changed it.

I pushed Mina on Amy, and she quickly bent over and began eagerly wrapping her lips around Amy’s nipples. I was shocked by Mina’s fervor, and incredibly pleased to see her ardor as she lusted for more of Amy’s body. Amy continued to suck on Don’s cock for a moment before deciding to focus on Mina, who she began to kiss again. Don and I stroked our erections as we watched our women kiss and touch each other, wearing only their panties. After a moment, I worried for Don’s erection, being under-attended to, so I told Mina to take care of him. She grinned and turned, and took his cock in her mouth. Amy and I slid closer, making out for a bit before stopping to watch intently as Mina pleasured him. We were both incredibly turned on by watching our significant others play, and she took my cock and began stroking it furiously as my fingers snuck up her thighs, finding her panties soaked with wetness. I groaned, and breathed at her my shock at how wet she was. She moaned her assent and stroked me more furiously. Don pulled Mina’s expert mouth away, not wanting to break our “no fluids rule.” She then told Don to check if Mina was wet. Don reached down and Mina realized that she would need to leave the room for a minute. As she prepared to depart, Don and Amy realized they needed to complete their union. I had Mina help with Amy’s panties as they adjusted on our bed and Don began to go down on Amy. While he did, I kissed her, and her nipples. Mina shortly returned, and I laid her next to Amy while I also pleasured her with my tongue and fingers.

Don then shifted upward and his hips sank against Amy’s as he entered her. His body heaved against her as they began to fuck, and I told Mina to pause and watch them a bit. We looked at their passion and, never willing to be outdone, I shifted up and took her myself. After adding a bit of lube I continued to fuck Mina while Don and Amy expertly brought about their orgasms. They smiled and held each other, then turned to watch us in the candle light. Happy to have an audience, I happily fucked Mina, moving her legs around. I then rolled her over onto all fours and took her from behind. My body refused to find the orgasm, perhaps an effect from the severe drunkenness of before. I watched as Amy began caressing Mina’s back as her head was buried against the mattress. I continued to pound away furiously, putting on a show of endurance at this point. I looked up at Amy, who made eye contact, grinning. Her husky, accented voice came up from the bed. “Yeah, fuck her. Do it.” She reached up and scratched down my chest and belly to Mina’s back, and her words and actions sent me exploding over the edge. I groaned and pumped Mina full, releasing myself into her body.

After coming, I flopped back on the bed, and dug out Gigi. After passing her the toy, I slipped two fingers inside, and she came to an enormous, screaming orgasm for all of us to see. We were smiling and relaxing now, in our four-way afterglow. After some moments of wow, I teased Amy a bit about a sore back, till she caught the hint and agreed that she needed a massage. The three of us massaged her body for a few minutes while we slowly floated down from the incredible high. Unfortunately, the time came for Don and Amy to don their clothes again and begin their long drive home. The hugs goodbye were closer and more affectionate than the hugs hello, and we sadly watched them drive off, and our first true swinging experience found its end.

—

In hindsight, I pushed a few boundaries here and there. Having Mina suck his cock was definitely going a little far, but it seemed right in the moment. I suppose I could have been more careful here and there, and Mina was certainly being far more cautious than I. As we get to know the part of Don and Amy better, and to understand the limits more, that will help. Mina didn’t quite feel totally at ease, because she wasn’t completely sure what was in bounds (and my pushing matters probably didn’t help.) I think Amy and I both enjoyed seeing Don and Mina together more than we expected. So…there is room to improve. But, in the end, I am so grateful to have had two sexy, sane, people like Don and Amy for our first foray. The night was wonderful, and the evening flowed into sexy so naturally. It was amazing how comfortable the whole experience was, and we would love to have more with them.

Anticipation

Hello world, meet the new me.

Actually, meet the old me, again.

Today has been a day of nervous anticipation. A date has been set,  and we are getting ready to go on our first couples date (though, to be clear, these are get-to-know-you dates, not hit-the-sheets dates), and we are beside ourselves with excitement. Mina admitted today it was almost overwhelming having this much attention coming her way, and for a while she was nearly flummoxed, but not in a bad way, she hastened to clarify.

Meanwhile, I have had a certain spring in my step, and a certain extra bit of energy in me, and smiles come easily. In a lot of ways, it is like the version of me from when Mina and I first started dating. Granted, married life has suited me extremely well. People ask me how it is, I find myself saying, “great” with a sincere smile before I really have to think about the question. It’s especially interesting to me, since I have a previous, disastrous marriage to contrast it to. Eight years ago, I was back from a sexless week in Mexico, a.k.a., the “honeymoon.” Having come back to the States with not even a handjob, and having spent a very, very boring week away from it all, I would find myself parsing the question, and searching for the exact way to convey unhappiness while sounding happy. Now, today, it’s simple.

But, last night, we had an amazing conversation on the phone, and the energy from the voices on the other side was positively infectious. We went to bed, and I talked to her about what we were embarking on. We talked a bit about what things are on the table (all of them) and what are not (none of them). Of course, it always depends on chemistry and how we feel about things, but we were feeling such a strong vibe, that it was hard to temper the your energy.

We talked more about how we had come to this place. How she had realized that this did not mean I was going to replace her. I found this actually funny, because, if anything, this would only make her so much harder to replace. I told her how this thought made me feel, and about how I loved being the man who makes her fantasies come true. I like that our marriage has meant now that all things are possible, and that the fantasies she writes about could now be first drafts of her life.

Of course, as I’m saying this, my hand has drifting shamelessly to her hips, and my fingertips are teasing her labia, trying to bring her around to open up. Mina simply answers by taking my erection in her cool hand. We continue to talk, as though our hands are simply holding the newspaper, when we are really round third base. I try to think of a subtle way to segue into some sex, and instead just tell her that I am going to fuck her. She took it well. She always does, really. But then, I threw in a curveball.

“You have a choice tonight.” Her eyebrow raised. “You can decide what position.”

She pauses for a moment. Too many choices. I start to name them off, and for some reason a rarely used one pops into mind. “You could lie on the edge of the bed, and I can stand,” and I hear her laugh wickedly. So, we have a winner. As a formality, I name off the basics afterward, and she chooses to go for the end of the bed. I happily pull her over, and she holds her knees apart so I can sink into her with an unconscious groan. Her body is warm around me. I take her ankles in my hands and bring her legs together against my shoulders, then splay them out to the sides, enjoy the feel of her muscles stretching and shifting around me as I ground inside her. She arched back, moaning to the ceiling, letting herself be used.  I smiled and bore into her, taking long strokes for my own purpose, teasing an orgasm from my body. As I started to feel the myself welling up about to burst, I pulled out and dangled my erection over her, and her voice broke, “Yeah…” In the dark, with no glasses I couldn’t see where my orgasm was going, but I felt myself pulsing over and over, bursts lashing out over her body. As the electricity of my pleasure started to subside I was still pumping semen out, covering her body. Every scorching drop on her skin elicited another moan.

When I finally stopped, I pushed myself back inside, and began working slowly, and her hand snaked down, wet with my orgasm, to rub her clit. I moved ever more slowly, letting her expert hand please herself. Her muscles slowly, steadily, clamped down harder and harder on me inside her until the wave hit her body, and she groaned and writhed on the bed with the orgasm lashing her nerves. Smiling, I leaned over her glistening body and kissed her lips, still tingling with this newfound energy.

Mina later confessed that she had been hoping I would pull out and come onto her. She was loving how connected we were now. I was pissed that she said it first. Can’t win ‘em all.

Yeah, this is going to be good.

work in progress

So it’s come to my attention that it’s been awhile since I did some sharing around here. It’s been awhile since I have chosen to write about what’s going on in our lives these days. Yeah yeah… we have been hungrily posting about our wedding, so you could debate that we’ve been doing a lot of sharing these days, but there has been a work in progress you aren’t aware of.

*giggles* we have been holding back on you all. hehehehe

There is no denying that mina is a very very lucky girl. I truly am and now I can say I married him and he’s mine bitches! *tease* And yet we feel compelled to share. Sylvanus has had a change of heart recently. Within the last 2 months or so. We had been talking and fantasizing about including outside people into our relationship. Most of you know that I have been somewhat looking for a “girlfriend”. (Still looking btw). Things have changed now. Sylvanus has decided he is turned on by the thought of me being fucked by another man.

So here’s whats been going on these days. We have decided to start looking for a couple to interact with. We have put up an ad and have run into all kinds of responses. Some didn’t tickle our fancy visually, others couldn’t write worth crap and some didn’t respond to our replies back. We have also been answering some ads. We have a few potentials and we meet our first couple on Wednesday. Sylvanus and I are quite picky and this is our first time doing something like this. We are looking forward to just meeting people and seeing where things go. We aren’t the couple who’s going to meet another couple at the bar and say, “hey, nice to meet you. Wanna go to our place?” So we shall see where things progress.

Another thing that has gone down, is Sylvanus and I are both turned on by the thought of him finding me another man to share the bed. He likes the thought of having another man pleasure me, of fucking my mouth while he fucks me or the other way around. He also likes the idea of watching another man fuck the shit out of his wife right in front of him. Needless to say, I am quite surprised by this and yet very grateful. The fact that he loves this idea is what really turns me on to it. I am also loving the fact that he is the one who is finding this man for me. He has posted an ad and of course has had a LOT or responses. He is going through them and selecting the very few that pass his standards and what he hopes are mine as well. When they pass that point, they eventually get to talk to me. He has already talked on the phone with one potential. Obviously, things have gone well because guy #1 has sent me an email. I have answered him and we shall see where things go.

Needless to say, things may get very exciting around here. Thinking back on my wedding, you know how men and women have their “bachelor” parties because they want to enjoy their last day of unmarried life and say good bye to single life? Well, I smile knowing that getting married is opening the doors to possibilities and not closing them for me. I love Sylvanus very much for this and I hope I make him just as happy.  I am lucky to have him and I can’t wait to see where life takes us.

—

Quick update: We just got off the phone with another couple we had been really hoping to talk to, and suddenly things are looking considerably brighter in the near future. :-) We’ll update in detail as events warrant.

My Wedding Experience, pt. 1

Hmm…so how I do I capture my side of the Vegas wedding without everyone heaping “typical male” scorn on me? Ennh, can’t do it.

Ryan, who was one of my three best friends in middle school and high school got to Vegas a day early, and was playing poker right away. I wanted to join him over at Planet Hollywood, but Mina and I had appointments to go to. First we had to burn the DVD of music for the wedding, then introduce our respective families to each other for the first time. Then meet the reception coordinator. Then do the wedding rehearsal. Then get our license. All the while, our eyes and throat are parching in the desert air, which was running at about 2.4% humidity. Then *sighs* breathe for a moment, which started with a quick nap. I decided to hit the shower. I turned the shower on to pure hot water and let the steam blast while I gathered my things. I stepped in and felt an immense sense of relief: humidity! I called out to Mina to come in here. It really says a lot of her trust for me that she came and stood in the shower in her panties just because I said so. Like me, the second she crossed the threshold, she felt the steamy cloud hit her skin and sighed happily. Then back in the saddle for the rehearsal dinner. Got all that?

Well, by the end of the rehearsal dinner, I was jonesing for some actual fun. Ryan met back up with us, and we met up with Mina’s friends over at Cesar’s, and grabbed yet another quick bite, and some more alcohol. By now I was beginning to get a quality buzz going. After some negotiation we settled on “boys here, girls there.” Ryan and I started walked back to Planet Hollywood, where Matt and Rachel had also arrived, completing the Original Foursome. Ryan tossed out the suggestion of going to a strip club (which he and I had secretly done right before my first wedding. There are several secrets from that night, among them how much I spent and what I got for said money.) and mention that he had been to Vegas enough to know which one to go to. I thought for a moment on this, and decided to pass, saying that if I were to go, I would want Mina there. Ryan’s head whirled around. “Is this because you want to stay out of trouble, or…” I shot him a shiteating grin. How long do I stretch out this glorious moment of revealing that my soon-to-be-wife is bisexual? Hmm…three more questions, it wound up being. Ryan’s mind was flying now. He settled down though.

As Mina and her friends started bouncing around at clubs to wind up at Pure, the four of us hung out in Ryan and Matt’s room and caught up over a bottle of champagne Planet Hollywood had left Ryan. Eventually, Rachel needed to go to her hotel and crash, so we dragged an exhausted Matt back to the Bellagio to shoot some craps. (the tables at Planet Hollywood were packed, but the Bellagio had plenty of space. No Pleasure Pit, though. Can’t have it all.)  I went to the table while Matt and Ryan sorted out their biological issues. I bought in for $200. In the ten minutes it took Matt and Ryan to get there I was down about $130. Ooops. I slowed my betting down, followed the Jedi master Ryan, as we tried to explain the Byzantine rules of craps. Ryan quickly shot up $140 and took his money. I lingered, and got back to even. Then, as Matt finally dropped and went back, my sister and her best friend Jason come by. Ryan hangs out a bit longer as we try to teach my sister how to play. Jason gets hosed, and hemorrhages about $200, and I start slowly creeping back up to about $100 up. My sister has parlayed her $40 stake into about $80, and is ready to call it a night, but I won’t let her go until she takes a turn as shooter. Fine!

The dice come around, and Jason and I are feeding lots of advice. Just hit the other side of the table, get them all the way down. She leans over, heaves the bones, and hooks it wide right. Not Scott Norwood right, more like Stevie Wonder right. Misses the table with both dice, and blasts the chip man in the side of the head. One die caroms off under the slot machines (sending TWO employees scrambling to find it) and the other dents his skull and dies on the table. Jason and I are agape in shock. We are expecting to get tossed out of the Bellagio on our ears. Luckily, the crew were all really nice, and the stickman took advantage of the down time to explain to my sister how to throw dice. Once we realized Lurch and Thud were not going to be escorting us to Las Vegas Boulevard, my sister took two new dice and made four points in a row, making a lot of friends, and a lot of money. I finished the night up $150, she was up $100, everyone was happy. I went up to crash, and Mina was about half an hour behind me. We stayed up a bit talking about our respective nights and drifted off.

—

Morning came, and so did breakfast in our room. Beignets for me, chocolate croissant for her. Mina was definitely feeling that one drink too many, though. At the point, I really wanted to roll my eyes about the stereotypical bachelor parties that people talk about. Here I am, fresh as a daisy and slightly richer, and Mina is struggling to hold it together. However, there are higher callings than proving a point, so I gave Mina a massage (and watched in awe as her skin soaked up the lotion like a ShamWOW. Vegas was REALLY dry that weekend.) to try and help her body get through it. Nuthin’ doin’. She finally started dancing the ol’ dry heave ballet, but that put her on the road to feeling much better. As things were starting up, Ryan and Matt were waking up across the street, so I decided to meet them for some poker. I gave Mina a kiss as she got ready for her mom to arrive and headed across the street.

Over at Planey Hollywood, I sat down, played a little poker, and played like an idiot, kissing my $200 buy-in good bye because I couldn’t get away from my pocket kings in the face of an OBVIOUS pair of pocket aces. We found a craps table instead, and I got about about $130 of it. We then headed over to Pink’s to meet up with Rachel who was rising. Ryan ran upstairs to change, and Matt and I talked. It’s ironic that we live about four miles from the actual Pink’s hot dogs, and have never been there because the lines are a positively stupid number of blocks long, whereas I wound up eating twice at the copy in Vegas, for freakin’ hot dogs. (They are pretty good, though.)

As time dragged on, Rachel was running late, so I decided to go back to the Bellagio to change into my tux (Mina had texted she was at the salon.) This would set off a wave of clothes-changing amongst my friends, as well. I get back to the room and crap breakfast is still here. No problem, call room service to come get it. I start pulling out my tux, and crap, no white t-shirt. I try on the shirt without, and, nope, still have the pink effects. I still back down and look at my shirts for a plausible option. knock knock knock “Room service!” crap, I’m naked. I throw on my jeans, and, somehow, I can’t find any t-shirt. I don’t want to make her wait for me to button up my dress shirt, so what the hell? I finally go Christian Slater and answer the door half naked, and, dammit, it’s a cute girl. Now I’m positively beet red. She got a nice tip, though. She leaves the room, and I look, and spot three t-shirts lying around room. What a jackass!

Okay, settle down, Syl. I decide to go with a slightly heavy bone-colored shirt to wear under my tuxedo shirt, and it loks good enough. The rest of the tux goes on easily (thank god they tailored it perfectly) and by 1 I’m out of the room. Now I have three hours till the wedding. I’m in the Bellagio with two hours to kill…soo…MORE CRAPS.

I stroll on down to the table in true James Bond (okay, Jimmy Earl Bond) fashion and belly up to a table with two other guys. I pull out my hundred from the morning, and set it down, more chips come. I look to the guy on my left in an orange t-shirt. He looks up at me. “I bet the odds.” Uh-oh. This can’t be good. You see, in craps, there are two basic sides you can take: the pass or don’t pass side. Either you can bet on the shooter winning, or you can bet on him losing. Now, mathematically, the shooter is slightly more likely lose. However, all the cool kids in craps bet on the shooter winning, and only the axe-murdering antisocial cracksmoking atheistic Nazi-fucking puppy-kicking lollipop-stealing cocksucking assholes bet the Don’t Pass side. Like this piece of work here. After losing about $30, I realize the karma at this table is so negative a meteor is about to hit. I do an about-face to the next table to find a crazy dude and a quiet guy. Crazy dude tries to guess my profession (elevator operator, maitre’ d, etc.) then heads out. Just me an the quiet guy. If you ain’t gonna get lucky today…

I pick up the dice and start rolling. My first point stretches out forever, and I am all but printing money. It seems like every roll is bringing me another four red ($5) chips. And, to cap it off, I make the point. Suddenly, I am on fire. I go on a fifteen minute run and my $70 balloons to $300. I finally miss, but the table has started to pick up a crowd. Over the next two hours, I am having green ($25) chips flying to my rack. I am betting hard eights and hitting them. I am throwing out bets for the house to get rid of blue ($1) chips, and those are hitting. The whole crew at the table is on my side, because now I’m making them money, the table is rocking, and every single person there knows I am getting married at four. Ryan comes by at about 3:00, and I decide there is no way I am going to be even a second late to my own wedding, no matter how good my run is. Ryan looks over my shoulder and sees my rack, and gasps. “No way!” Way, my friend. Way. I color up having run my $70 into $740. I cashed out the last $240, and saved the $500 chip to show Mina after the wedding.

All the good stuff to come in part 2.

HNT ~ Kinky Bride

Of course, it wouldn’t be our wedding without SOME element of kink to it…so her beautiful dress was, naturally, corseted.

God, I love this woman.

Love Our Lurkers

Thanks to Bonnie, Love Our Lurkers Day is celebrating it’s 4th year.

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