Escape

*** Thank you to Madeline and Fleshbot for Fleshbotting this post! ***

You can’t run forever.

I close my eyes, and exhaustion sweeps me away.

two soft hands unbutton my shirt, gravity seems to rearrange my body, laying down. the bed emerges soft under me. the world grows quiet, only the soft pops of a pair of lips kissing my chest.

hair is drawped around her face on my chest. hair! this cool delicate touch, brushing my skin, awakening these senses

her perfume is thick and powder, the smell sidling up my chest and insinuating into my nostrils and tickling my memory

my belt buckle clanks open.

—

I always felt like there was a second world, just under the skin of the world I live in. That is the world where there is a couple unzipping each other’s jeans in the alley you didn’t peek down. The officious boss who is really begging for his secretary to push her heels into his chest. The couple who is seducing the not-innocent young lady for a threesome. It’s a world I can never quite seem to get my membership in. I can peek over a shoudler from time to time, but I am stuck in the ordinary world.

—

her cool lips slide down my hot cock, and i know how i must feel in her mouth. i am grateful for his surrender, to give myself over to her expert care. her head bobs with purpose, i am groaning. her phone rings. it’s time for her date. i take a long sigh and zip up, and drive her out to meet the lovely couple i am loaning her to tonight. she kisses the lady, and first casually, then a curiosity-driven deeper kiss, and a knowing smile at taste on her lips, and a more-knowing smile at how i am standing uncomfortably.

we’ll have her back by midnight.

oh the fucking she will get then

—

I am dragged out of my exhausted daydream by the most quotidian of things, a knock at the door. My membership below the skin has been revoked, and I begin a new plan for my next escape.

Genie, Bottle

It’s hard to really explain where my brain is today. However, within the scope of the blog, there is a fascinating new idea occupying my thoughts.

Last night Mina and I decided to get drunk. As in absolutely schnockered. In our happily buzzed state, we took our sexual energy online, and had a crazy flirtation with any soul on Twitter who dared come near. Once the alcohol was consumed, we reconvened in the bedroom for some hot, steamy, doubly-penetrative sex.

But, let’s back up to before the butt plug went it. I took my drunken little slut to the bedroom, and, as is my wont, began talking filth to her as she sucked my cock. It’s how I am. But this time I was focused on a new vision of our relationship, a much more open relationship. I was imagining have a dinner date with another couple, and sending her home with them for a debauched evening, then reclaiming her after. I was imagining putting her mouth to work on someone else while I was enjoying her body. And I was verbalizing it all.

Of course, Mina is smart, and she knew to just brush it all off as drunk talk. And that was fine, but I knew in my heart that I meant every word. This morning I wake up, I go to work, and as I get home, I find my brain lapsing into a new zone of sexuality, wanting to pull everything and everyone in. I want to meet more kinky friends, and find a girlfriend for Mina. I want to find a couple to share her with. I want to find a submissive to play with alongside her. I want to send her off to a debauched evening and have one of my own. I went back and forth between forcing an introduction with a friend on twitter who happens to be local. I decided to play it cool for now, till Mina and I talked.

But, suddenly, very suddenly, my vision of our life together has changed. I want to show her off. I want to show myself off. I suddenly have developed a desire for a much more open relationship. Do I want to fuck other people? Not really. At least, no one I’ve met so far. Do I want to fuck Mina in front of other people? Quite likely, with the right people. Do I want to top some other people? Well, sure. Do I want to play another submissive against Mina, or with Mina? Hell yes.

Of course, you can’t sit there in one drunken night and rebuild your life. But, having suddenly come to terms with this unfamiliar aspect of my psyche, I am curious where it leads, and I wonder if this is a passing fancy, a welcome maturation, or an unfortunate genie I may never get back in its bottle.

—

After I had spilled all of this filth on Mina, I decided it was time to bring something else new into our lives. Mina has recently developed a craving for anal, or least having her ass filled, even if she can’t quite handle my cock in there yet. From having played with her body many times, I was fairly sure her anatomy could not accommodate two cocks, since she is such a small person. However, earlier that afternoon she gotten her Tantus Ripple in her anus, and the Tantus John Doe dildo in her pussy. John Doe is very close to my size, so I had to admit to her that she had proved me at least partially wrong, something that she was positively beaming about.

So, that night, as we were wrapped up in this intense, drunken sex, I decided she should show off her newfound ability. She obligingly lubed the Ripple up and inserted it, and then lubed me up, and juuuuust squeezed me in. I gasped a bit at how tightly her body gripped me, even through my alcohol-dulled senses. I came in pleasingly short order, which sent Mina on a mission to fight through a grind her own orgasm out. I obligingly held the Ripple in place as she moved, making sure she got to be completely filled for her whole experience. The rest of the night is only an inebriated haze for me, though it did involve Mina walking the dog while wearing nipple clamps.

—

It’s nice to be that kinky couple again.

HNT ~ Schoolgirl

Mina has been doing her back-to-school shopping. I think she does rather well, don’t you?

a mina update

I thought today that I would do a little update around here as to what has been going on with me.

On January 2nd of this year, I made myself a few New Year’s resolutions. Shall we revisit them and see how far I’ve come?

1. Get more exercise! I have a gym membership as well as a Wii Fit. It’s time I use them!

Yes! I have been getting more exercise. It really kicked in a few months ago when I was determined to look amazing for my wedding. I have used both the Wii Fit and my new Wii Active on a regular basis.

2. Lose weight! Well, hopefully #1 will help with this one. I have some weight I could spare to lose. Yes, I know, our HNTs make it look like I don’t need to. It’s very easy to pick out the more “flattering” photos.  I am unhappy with the way I look in the mirror and it’s time I change that. I want a truly sexy body for 09. Why? Well, I’m engaged now and want to look my absolute best for the wedding. (date still needs to be discussed). I have also been approached by the fabulous Diva with the possibility of participating in the 2010 New York City Sex Bloggers Calendar. Of course, that means the title may need to change. *wink* So naturally, I want to look extra sexy for that as well.

I haven’t lost as much weight as I want…. yet. but I have lost some. Not much in my eyes. I finally got the inspiration to force me to do something about the way I eat. Sylvanus and I attended a wedding. At said wedding there was a photo booth. He and I crammed ourselves in there and what resulted were a set of pictures that almost made me cry. I was truly disgusted at myself. I looked at myself and thought “Oh my god. I’m a fat girl. I don’t want to be a fat girl at my wedding.” I don’t mean to offend anyone by saying that and I am sorry if I just did. I just wanted to look better than what I saw in that picture. As for posing for the calendar… well, that is still a NY thing. Maybe I’ll move… or start a west coast calendar… lol

3. I can be a very selfish person at times. I don’t mean to be, but sometimes I am. I hope to be a more considerate person and to really show the people I love just how much they mean to me.

I have found myself being more careful. I have made efforts to make Sylvanus feel more special since he does that so well naturally with me. Since losing my job, I have done my best to make myself busy around the house. I feel guilty if I haven’t done anything while he is at work.

Pusher

For this post, I created a new category: sucks but I published it anyway. We had a great weekend, and since we have been so maudlin lately, I felt like I should mention we had a great weekend. But the truth is, I knew this post was going to suck by the third sentence. I kept writing it, though. Maybe you have to get the sucky post out of your head to get back to the good stuff. I don’t know. In the “good news” column, this sucky post IS pretty short, so it won’t take long to read, and even less time to ignore. What’s funny, to me, is that I find that this bit of exposition explaining that my post sucks actually feels like considerably better writing than the post it exists to explain. What the hell is wrong with me when that’s the case? Maybe next time I’ll write a sucky post, not publish it, and then write just an explanatory post that will be friggin’ amazing, but in a totally meta way, and then I’ll call it postmodern blogging. Until that bizarre day, sit back with something strong, and enjoy my sucky post.

I hate sexual boundaries.

I can’t leave well enough alone. We had a great fuck on Thursday. So…on Friday, I decide to indulge in three more. I even bought some Red Bull on the way home to keep the engine running.

And, on the first first, I simply used her. Then, as a reward I reached over to the nightstand, and pulled the LELO Lily, and let her rub herself to orgasm without pulling out. Then, it isn’t enough to fuck. I have to get out the butt plug, and go for Mina’s back door. She screams a little too much, in that way that says “I won’t stop you, but this is not good for me,” so I back off, and instead work a Tantus John Doe inside her, and then pulled the Eroscillator out. The result was a volcanic orgasm, that rumbled, quaked, and ultimately roared, and I could feel it with my hand holding the dildo inside. She lay in bed helplessly quaking from the aftershocks of the orgasm.

So, now I will take a shower. About time I got clean.

I get back as we are shamelessly tweeting, and our houseguest gets home from her internship. Of course, that is just another kind of opportunity. I put Mina back to work sucking my cock as I twitter away. After instructing Mina to get on and take a ride, I got another reminder of just how hard her previous orgasm had been when her swollen muscles painfully first took me in. What her extreme tightness turned into for me, though, was extraordinarily vocal experience. Poor Wilhelmina having to hear that (not to mention my relentless teasing that I would invite her in our room to watch. Not sure how much I was really teasing)…so I encouraged her to get one of her own toys out and take care of herself. Which she did.

Deep Breath. Dinnertime.

Okay…we calm it down after dessert. Now I’m back to just talk. That’s safe, right?

—

Fast forward to Sunday morning. I’m up early, as usual. I’m surfing Fetlife, check out some pictures, and looking at a girl surrounded by cocks, and I find myself picturing Mina there. And liking it.

So, when I excuse myself back to the bedroom, I tell her that I want her to suck another cock for me. And eat some pussy for me. Possibly while I fuck her. But first, she needs to take of my cock, which she does like a good girl. Of course, I was referring to her as a slut at that moment. And the moment after when she was all fours and I was enjoying a nice, long, electric orgasm into her body.

So wait…are we having an open relationship now? What is with this new aspect of my sexuality where I have to start dragging everyone around me into it?

Well…whatever it is…that’s me.

I’m a pusher.

BBG’s Big Bad Contest

So listen up all you great readers you! Bad Bad Girl is having a contest to end all contests. She is going to be reaching her 3 year blog-iversary soon and has decided to give back to the people who have made it possible… all of her readers! The following is directly taken from her blog:

The Big Bad Anniversary Contest-Drawings

I’ll be having 4 drawings, and one grand prize. The Big Bad Contest Drawings will be out of one pool of entries and the Grand Fucking Prize will be from a different pool of entries (and detailed in another post all together) sponsored by eXtremeRestraints.com.

Drawings

How to get an entry (you can do both):

1. Post the details of the contest on your blog, saying something wonderful about me along with the list/links of prizes up for grabs. You will need this paragraph (from ‘Drawings’ to the last prize). (you must leave me a comment here so I know you did it)

2. Email me a picture wishing me a happy blog anniversary I will post it on my anniversary. badbadgirlx (at) gmail (dot) com (Nudity is greatly appreciated)

See, I’m easy. (As if you didn’t know!!) I MAY add a third way half way thru, stay tuned for that!

Here’s the things up for grabs and the fantastic vendors who are supplying some of the best, coolest and my favorite items.

Adam&Eve- Cyberskin Dream Cock, 16oz bottle of Adam&Eve Signature Lube, DVD- Bree’s Big Campout, DVD- Hello Nurse, and DVD-World of Sexual Variations 2

TabuToys- Carmen Electra’s Stripper Pole

Babeland- Hitachi Magic Wand and 1 oz Rocketbalm

Eden Fantasys- Bandito, 1 oz Eros Light Love Lube, Cock and Ball Rings

Pretty cool huh?? I look forward to your posts and emails. I also hope you take the time to enter the contest for the grand prize. It’s big and awesome. I will announce the winners on September 12th. Good luck!!

And wait there’s more! This is just the smaller of the 2 contests… here is where things get even better!

So you know about my anniversary and the drawings. That’s awesome enough right?

Well here’s the Grand Fucking Prize.

The AMAZING folks at eXtremeRestraints.com wanna help me celebrate this awesome occasion with (what I think is) the biggest fucking prize giveaway in SexBlogger history. (Correct me if I’m wrong). The prize is progressive, meaning the more people enter the contest, the bigger it gets. You need to do all 4 steps to get an entry. I may add a second way to get an entry for this later- so stay tuned.

Here’s what you do:

Last month I set up a wishlist over at the eXtremeRestraints.com and I posted it on this site. That’s what you need to do.

1. Write a blog post about my contest with a link to this post. (This is done if/when you post for the Drawings) Yes, you gotta have a blog! Protected blogs (including Facebook and myspace) will be excluded.

My suggestion is that you do a post which includes all the prizes in the Grand Fucking Prize to encourage more people to enter to get the prize bigger!

2. Go to eXtremeRestraints.com and set up a wishlist.

a. Sign in/ Create an account.

b. Click around to all the things you want and add them to your wishlist.

look for this —> Add to wishlist

3. Write a second blog post talking about your wishlist over at eXtremeRestraints with a link. Share it with your friends, maybe someone will buy you a gift!!!

4. Leave me a comment here with the link to your post about your wishlist.

For every wishlist, the prize gets bigger. For example, if 38 people create a wishlist, then the prize is everything on this list up to the Trinity Pocket Rocket. So you want to do this on your blog, and you want your friends to do this on thier blogs. Did you see what is on the list for the 100th signup?? Yeah- a fucking machine!!

Don’t worry, if you just have no place to store the fucking machine, I’ll be HAPPY to take it off your hands.

Here’s what you can win as the entries increase:

Sign-ups	Item	Retail
1	Electrogasm	$45.00
4	Ratan Cane	$11.50
5	Trinity Silicone Butt Plug Kit	$38.00
7	Trinity Pink Waterproof Rabbit	$18.95
9	Orgasmic Vibrating Cock Ring	$8.00
10	Luv Balls	$26.00
12	The Sunset Plug	$17.99
15	Strict Leather Flogger	$165.00
17	Clit Enhance Pump Kit	$114.00
18	Vibrating Silver Bullet	$8.50
20	Vibrating Remote Control 7 speed egg	$47.95
23	Leather Blindfold with Velcro Closure	$16.50
25	Strict Leather Locking Thigh Cuffs	$76.00
30	Trinity 7 Speed Vibrating Silicon Butt Plug	$28.95
35	Delux Digital Power Box	$130.00
38	Trinity Pocket Rocket Massager	$14.00
40	Trinity Heart Throb Glass Dildo	$28.00
43	The Love Pacifier	$14.99
45	Strict Leather 4 Foot Leash	$18.00
47	Vibrating Lipstick	$26.00
50	Hitachi Magic Wand	$49.95
55	Ball Gag Training System	$15.00
58	Trinity Rosebud G Vibrator	$22.50
60	Strict Leather Punishment Strap	$37.50
62	Bondage Tape	$7.95
65	Strict Leather Studded Paddle	$48.00
69	Clit Clamp with Bell	$10.00
70	Strict Leather Low Rise Leather Collar	$48.00
75	The Love Seat	$99.95
77	Premium Bondage Rope Nylon 10ft	$12.00
78	Wartenburg Wheel	$9.50
80	The Anal Hook	$78.95
85	Tower of Pain	$88.00
90	Strict Leather Forced Orgasm Belt	$78.00
95	The Curvy Steel Dildo	$95.00
100	The Power Box Fucking Machine	$449.00

I know, I was pretty floored by this awesome prize too! The whole prize package is worth around $2000!!!

So write it, click it, do it!! Encourage your friends to do it. I would LOVE for someone to win all this stuff. eXtremeRestraints ships worldwide, in case you were wondering so do it. I will announce the winner on September 13th.

Good luck. Happy wishing!!

So there you have it. Here is your chance to win some pretty cool things very easily. Not to mention making a wishlist is pretty fun! I myself have made one. There are quite a few sexy pairs of panties I really really want. You know…. Sylvanus and myself are going to be married soon. *wink wink* Consider it our wedding registry. And if that is not enough… I promise you a very special photo of me wearing/using whatever you decide to send me.

lost but never forgotten

When you find yourself straying from the ways thing were, you begin to wonder if the masochist in you still exists. You tend to wonder if the sadist still remains in him. The answers to your queries can bring you much enlightenment. …

Sylvanus and I are laying in bed. We both finish reading and I turn off the lights. I turn towards him, laying on my side, face to face with him. My hand drifts  naturally to his shoulder, down his arm, over the curve of his back, resting on his hip. His hand does the same with me. My thumb lazily tracees circles over his flesh as his hand runs along my curves. I exhale quiet sighs as he runs fingers along my body.

His hand stops at my neckline and curl around it. He applies the briefest amount of pressure and my heart skips a beat. I have no time to respond, his large hand drifts back to my body. My mind focuses on one thing and one thing only. I want him to do that again.

Wish granted, his hand moves back to my throat and I gasp, moaning my delight. Immediately I become aware of what this is doing to me. I feel it, between my thighs. A flood of warmth and wetness and a hardening of my clit. His hand is large for my small frame and it covers my throat completely, his fingers wrap around me. He pushes in more and the wetness gathers and I moan louder. My arousal sparks his own, and his movements become rougher. He growls as he moves me beneath him.

His hand at my throat pulls me closer to him, he jerks me up from the bed and pushes me back down, cutting off my airway. I give into him. I want this. I need this. I just want to be his slave.

His fingers reach down to my cunt and he chuckles. “You are already so wet and ready for me.” With his hand at my throat, his other hand guides his cock to my aching cunt. He pushes himself into me. My body doesn’t give way right away. I feel his cock head push into me, driving himself forward. His hand comes off my throat as he gets lost in the moment of possession.

I yelp and whimper beneath him as his cock invades my cunt. He groans his pleasure and thrusts deep into me. His hand back at my throat, he growls his pleasure. He uses my body for his pleasure. My arousal increases his own. He thrusts into me hard and deep as he continues to growl. He pauses, taking me slower, a little gentler while his hand find my throat again. I moan and thrash beneath him. Yes.. yes… I want this… I am his.. only his.

He gives into his lust and thrusts hard and deep. His cock pulses as he spills himself into me. We pause long enough to gather our strength and he begins grinding into me. He begins moving exactly the way I need if he wants me to cum. It doesn’t take me long before I release my orgasm and my cunt spasms around his softening cock.

He lays on top of me, both of us panting and moaning lightly. I feel his now flaccid cock pull out of me and his seed spills forth. He adjusts himself next to me and I feel his cock on my hip. His cock, covered in our sex, leaves its mark. We lay there for awhile, speechless, just breathing hard.

Finally he is able to put words together and he breaks the rhythm of our panting. “You are such a naughty little freak.”

I look at him through the darkness. “And what makes me the only naughty freak here?”

“Who said you were the only freak in this bed?”

We kiss and I roll over to my side, his cum now dry on my hip.

—-

It took me awhile to fall asleep last night after that. My body was awake and my mind raced. I was tempted to get out of bed and write this very post. Instead I just stayed in bed and let my mind drift. For what ever reason (maybe because the night was filled with possession), my mind went to tattoos. I still want to get one, but have struggled with what to put on my body for the longest time.

Last night, I came to my decision. I had thought about this very much and this particular design. I adore it. I have always hesitated on what OTHER people would think about it. But in the end.. it doesn’t matter. A tattoo is about what I want to get. It shouldn’t matter what any others think. It matters what it means to me.

When I started blogging under my original identity, I used a particular picture as my avatar. To this day, I still enjoy looking at it. I love this picture. So I will share it here with you. It’s by Olivia de Berardinis.

Olivia actually is very famous for the work she has done inspired by Bettie Page,

I love this angel. I love the look on her face, the size and shape of her wings and the way she holds her halo. It’s simply perfection and I want her on me. *grins* What do you think?

—-

On another note… the other day I wrote a post over at my Secret Desires blog. I’m calling all smut from you lovely people… go check it out. *wink*

Work

I am getting railed at by my boss again, this time on a Saturday morning. I have no idea why I came in for this. Where was I when this happened? When did I control it? What was I spending? What was I doing at a porn convention? He is point to a map where he has traced my location, and somehow, it’s on my old college’s campus across the country, only the roads are strangely hexagonal. Time slows down to a screeching halt, and I am feeling disoriented. I blink, and see my bedroom ceiling. After a few more moments, I start picking up clues. I am still in bed. It’s about 5:15 in the morning on Wednesday. I was dreaming. I have completely internalized him.

—

“Where to elect there is but one,
‘Tis Hobson’s choice – take that, or none.”
-Thomas Ward

I don’t have to work here. I can be unemployed. Sure, I have a rent coming, and a car payment, and insurance, and child support. I’m still trying to hold back the tidal wave of debt I absorbed from the divorce, and all of my savings disappeared in the loss I took on my house back east and the divorce. So, I have no margin. I make good money. Hell, I make fantastic money, safely in to six figures. But…there it is.

The fact is that I have Hobson’s choice. I am flailing a bit here and there, to see if someone else wants to take me, preferably back east. But, today, and tomorrow, my choices are simple: either I take the abuse or I go hungry.

searching

I don’t know where to begin here. There are so many emotions I feel on a daily basis. They go from happy to sad. I’m  not even sure this post will make it to the blog, but if you are reading it, then I have made the decision to share.

I am getting more excited every day as the wedding day approaches. Looking at the countdown on the blog, just makes the days go by faster. It will be even MORE exciting when the days start being numbered instead of 1 month and —- days.

All the little things are getting more exciting. My dress is being hemmed and bustled. The RSVP cards are starting to float in. We are finalizing all the details, from flowers to cake. Today I needed to determine the spa and salon treatments we want to have happen during our weekend at the Bellagio. It’s fun to have to sit down with Sylvanus and ask him what he wants.

But lately I have noticed it is hard to hold Sylvanus’s attention. He seems unenthusiastic about things. Not that he doesn’t want the wedding to happen, but he just doesn’t need to be bothered by the details. Recently, I have been going through boxes and boxes of things. There are many things there from my childhood, little mementos. I have a huge stamp collection plus, since my family is from Europe, there was a craze in Europe to collect the lids from coffee creamers you get in cafes. My grandparents created a nice collection for me. I wanted to bring these things into the house and show him, but I just felt it wasn’t worth it. I came across a book of sketches I had done, they went back into the storage tub, neatly tucked away in the garage.

I told Sylvanus a few nights ago that I felt it was hard to keep his attention lately. He apologized and realized he was failing me in this way. Last night we were both exhausted. We had spent the weekend doing a yard sale to get rid of a lot of extra stuff and help pay for the wedding. I was going through some old cards. My mom kept every single card I ever got from the day I was born. I even had cards in there congratulating my parents on my birth. I decided I did not need to keep all these cards. I went through all of them though, pulling out the ones that had been written by my dad. I came across some photos of me as a child. I got up to show them to Sylvanus, but … he just didn’t seem to care much. There was a movie on the television, perhaps that was why.

I know Sylvanus is unhappy right now. His work is sucking the life out of him. It’s stressful. He wants out, but it’s hard right now. It’s hard for him to find a job that will pay just as well, in today’s declining job market. I try to do as much as I can to make him happier, but I don’t think  I can do much. I sit feeling guilty every day while I am home. There isn’t a moment in my day where I do not feel guilty about me sitting at home while he works a job he hates more and more every day.

HNT ~ Stepping Out

With Mina behind the lens for a change…someone has to put their ass up there.

Happy, masculine, HNT.

I’m starting to dig this modeling thing…

—

HNT Gallery 2009