8:19 PM - Mina and I are watching this, and she is thinking Melissa is in danger for being too old, and we can’t figure out why Evan is still in. I think the same teenybopper voting base that makes Melissa nervous is saving cutesy Evan
8:20 PM – Lil C in da house!!! Somewhere there is a thesaurus that died to make this show home. I love Cat mocking his vocabulary. C thinks the “public appropriated the choice.” Either he knew what that meant and is being super sneaky in his wording, or he is going Tyson on us.
8:22 PM – Nigel mentions the stars who popped out like Twitch [Boss] and Joshua [Allen] and last season, then gropes more names, and finds Courtney [Galliano] and Gev (who was eliminated halfway through. Memory issues Nigel?
8:24 PM – Sonya is doing the boys’ group routine. I hope someone can FINALLY brings the edgy darkness her style needs.
8:26 PM – This routine is really amazing, but I feel like Evan is the leak in the tire. Brandon and Ade are killing it.
8:27 PM – Lil C has had wood for Ade and Brandon. He then eventually, remembers that Evan was in it, and wants to commend his “for not getting swallowed up in the dominant excellence.” We’re in full Beavis and Butthead mode for that.
8:29 PM – Money Shot Mary loved it, yes she did. Nigel praises Evan for what he is doing, and how unlike his past work it is. In other news, Sonya is ecstatic, and she is standing next to Louis van Amstel, which means unfortunately that someone drew ballroom, but they’ll get a good routine.
8:32 PM – As promised, Jeanine and her new partner Pick, are doing the samba, which frequently bombs on this show. (Just ask Joy, Cedric…). Luckily, Louis is going for massive sexy and low tradition.
8:35 PM – Okay, we’re trying ballroom-to-Lady-Gaga again. Weirdly, it seems right for Lady Gaga, and really wrong for a samba. The samba moves are there, but they seem bizarrely slow to the heavy, punchy “Lovegame.” I would have actually loved to seem them dance Lady Gaga’s choreography. In the plus column, Jeanine opens up a big a two liter of sexy and pours it all over the place. So we had that to cover for the lack of dance.
8:37 PM – Money Shot hated it. Lil C hated it. Nigel hated it. Da Pick was dancing too tall. *sighs* The Samba Stabber Strikes again.
8:39 PM – Kayla’s solo. I love the way she moves, but she finished the dance like Elaine from Seinfeld. You totally lost the vote I wasn’t casting anyway there.
8:42 PM – Melissa drew Evan. In the column of Couples I Totally Don’t See Working At All But Really Happened, they are just below Julia and Lyle. She does pretend to be excited well. But she is sticking with heels. Yeah…fuck you Twinkie!
8:46 PM – Evan is totally in to Tyce’s style. Lucky him. He does have weird luck with married women on this show. I love how Melissa laughs at/with him in that way that says “My husband is not even the tiniest bit threatened by you
8:52 PM – Da Pick does his solo. I am really impressed by him. Mina is amazed he can do all this in jeans. She’s right…it is really hard to do that without setting something on fire.
8:54 PM – Let’s see who Kayla drew this week. Amazingly, the process of elimination works it magic again. And another bit of suspense dies a quiet death.
8:55 PM - Stacy Tookie is doing the contemporary this week, and it’s a bout a mistress who can’t leave her married paramour. What’s her blog’s URL?
8:58 PM – Kayla’s legs look so long, and Brandon’s back looks so cut. Damn those dancer’s bodies. Brandon looks so effortlessly natural in this very complex role. Kayla seemed to be acting really hard to me. I didn’t love that
8:59 PM – Lil C says he’ll keep it short. He lies.
9:00 PM – Money Shot starts with another session arranging seats on the Goddamned Hot Tamale Fucking Train for Brandon. Nigel goes into pointing out just how brilliant Stacy Tookie is from SYTYCD Canada. He then runs down the long list of truly bizarre roles the women have had this season.
9:02 PM - Melissa’s solo. Please vote her, little teenybopper. Please.
9:03 PM - Commercial for House when he is at the mental hospital. Hugh Laurie is looking pretty mean in the brush cut. Excited!
9:06 PM – Nappytabs is doing hip-hop about eviction. Jeanine is on her third hit with these two. Give her a break!
9:08 PM – Da Pick owns this routine. Jeanine seems to be butching it up a little much.
9:13 PM – Lil C loves the dirt in Ade’s groove, and that he pulled Jeanine into it. Money Shot had to go back in time to praise Jeanine’s Samba. Nigel snuck in a crack at his wife’s divorce attorney. Oh god…in the shot of Nappytabs laughing I saw Doomsday Doriana in the background. That means disco. Noooooooo! Oh wait, Money Shot is still spurting. When an Englishman tells you “You got down!” I’m not sure how much praise that is.
9:14 PM - Brandon is going back to Carmina Burana for his solo, but naked. It’s exacty his audition, with a shameless rump shake. That is still SO wrong to have that kind of body with no workout. Standing O’s all around. Damn him. I am starting to see why Mia was put off by his vacant nervous smile, though.
9:16 PM – Melissa and Evan have to face off against the dread Quickstep. Okay, seriously, what the fuck? Why, the fuck, is that in the hat? Why, in the name of God’s ass, when you are on the precipice of the finals, do you put THAT goddamned land mine out there for people who might deserve to stay, expect to have something suck worse than the disco you are stuffing down our throats!!! Seriously!!!! Assholes!
9:18 PM – Melissa and Evan…we hardly knew ye. It seems sad to hear about how much this means to you.
9:22 PM – Louis is your choreographer. Upon hearing he drew you, his first thought was “Uh oh.” I’ll take “Confidence Murder for $600.”
9:23 PM - Twinkie kept his frame really well, and they didn’t seem as stiff as board. So, hey, nice work there.
9:24 PM – Lil C compliments Evan for dancing big. Then it is tough love not getting more powerful retractions from Nigel’s advice from week 2. Money Shot think Louis made a great routine again, yes he has. She is disappointed in how they did the Dance o’ Doom. Their energy fell off toward the end. We’ve seen that before with the tough stuff.
9:27 PM – Jeanine is up for her solo. Although she has been super strong at this all season, I am getting tired of the naughty thing from her. And back-to-back, it’s Evan’s solo. He is in good form, acting goofy, but showing off that he has some real moves here and there.
9:30 PM – We have sucked up all the TiVo lead. Oh well. Guess I won’t have an excuse for shoddy writing now.
9:34 PM – Brandon is doing disco again, and Doriana is really unloading on him. Having Kayla hold Brandon for a death drop was unusual. but…again…*yawn* lots of filler. Kayla and Brandon made the best Rodin possible from the steaming crud they were given, but that dance, though it has a few difficult moves, sucked.
9:37 PM – Lil C…is he on acid? What is this about darkness and pockets? And thanks for replaying the Double Death Drop to remind just how awkward that transition was. Classic Doriana: stupid filler, awkward transition, big trick. Money Shot is blathering. Honest-to-god blathering. She is yapping, incoherent, and repeatedly declaring she’s not crazy. Someone, somewhere please dart her.
9:41 PM – Reload the blowgun, aim a little left, please.
9:42 PM – I just got the TiVo thud from hitting fast forward when there is recording left to fast forward through. Damn.
9:47 PM – Sonya is also doing the girls’ routine. Going back to her comic book thing. I can dig it.
9:49 PM - Wow – great shot of Jeanine bashing Kayla’s face in. There’s always Ultimate Fighting…
9:51 PM – Jeanine spent a lot of time front and center on this one, and I think she deserved it. It was a really nice routine, and I think she managed to really stand out in this one, but they were really on point, and danced brilliantly, and I loved how colorful this was. First routine of the night I would want to watch again.
9:53 PM – I’m sorry…Lil C? you were saying. That went way too long. I get it…it was an A, you want an A plus. Done. Money Shot is all about amazing. Nigel is similarly ebullient.
I keep thinking it’ll be Evan’s turn and it never is. This really should be it…I hate to see a girl go, but I think Mina was right, and it’s Melissa’s turn. *sigh* Thursday’s going to be tough, y’all.
