SYTYCD: Au revoir, Caitlin and Phillip

9:00 PM Wow, what a start. I see in Tabitha and Napoleon what I often have said about Shane Sparks: Their group numbers seem much better than their couples’ numbers. I really enjoyed the start, and I had forgotten what a nice bass riff the White Stripes had, and it was a really bitchin’ opening. It was a shame to find out that someone (Sony or the estate) pooh-pooh’d the Michael Jackson tribute, because I was looking forward to what could come out of that. I know that Wade Robson had started out working with Michael Jackson (and had invited MJ to his wedding, in fact) and I knew there would be a lot of really great choreography. Oh well…

9:09 PM In the first group of two couples we have Caitlin and Jason and Brandon and Janette…I had predicted Caitlin and Jason in the bottom, and Brandon and Janette powering through.

9:10 PM “Last night you stole the show with a Wade Robson Jazz routine.” No, that’s not how they stole show, that badass Argentine Tango was.

9:11 PM And I was right, Caitlin and Jason are back for their third round of solos (out of five weeks. Mary is really trying to pump them up. I am worried that they will take her advice, and then Nigel will criticize them for being desperate.

9:15 PM Randi and Evan and Phillip and Jeanine are up together. I picked both couples for the bottom, so I am pretty much locked in for being wrong on my picks.

9:17 PM What strip club did Jeanine steal that dress from? And what did it cost her?

9:18 PM Phillip and Jeanine are next in the bottom. I am now officially worried for Phillip. Jeanine blew up her solo last week, so I think she is okay. Caitlin is a juicier target right now. Nigel is trying to be reassuring now and explain the process that judges arrive at their decision, but that people not in the top 10 often wind up on the tour as swing dancers. Be afraid Phillip, be very afraid.

9:21 PM Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen is the #1 movie in America? Can we please release something else? Like now?

9:25 PM Melissa and Ade or Kayla and Kupono? This is tough, but I think it’s going to be Melissa and Ade: They drew disco, whereas K&K had that Pantheon routine on addiction. I’m sure they did another dance, too.

9:27 PM Nigel looked really scary, in a psychotic way, telling K&K where to “feel it.”

9:28 PM It’s Melissa and Ade. Just proves how good everyone is now. This really going to be painful from now on.

9:29 PM Tyce’s advice is like him. Weird, but good.

9:30 PM Kevin Rudolf, whom I had never heard of prior to Wango Tango, is now the proud owner of the hottest background music in television montage editing. We’re all proud of you, Kev.

9:31 PM There’s a guy picking his nose over Nigel’s shoulder. Like, digging for gold picking his nose. He’s probably glad he’s out of focus.

9:33 PM Do not set that down, I will take it.

9:35 PM So, from the guys we are looking at Phillip, Ade, and Jason. Jason’s been here three times, but seems to be a strong dancer. Phillip is blossoming, but I think the judges are ready to cut bait on him, so probably Phillip. For the women, it’s Jeanine, Caitlin, and Melissa. Jeanine is almost definitely safe, and I think Melissa will wow the judges, though there is only one person on the panel this week that you expect to be wowed by the naughty ballerina thing. So, it’s frequent flyer Caitlin. Looks like Phillip and Caitlin are out this week.

9:36 PM Caitlin, is “Stand By Me,” really the best song for being cutesy and smiley? Jason, I’m not sure what you are doing here. Seems a little spastic there.

9:38 PM Jeanine, as a male, I love that outfit. But, really, not the best call ever. Not your best solo, but it was good, and composed. Phillip, great choice of music, going Blond Bruce Willis, you really brought your A game for the solo, too. Nice! I hope it’s not the last time we get to see you on this stage.

9:41 PM New Orbits gum, the wettest gum in the world. *cue Beavis laugh*

9:43 PM Mina is asking the dog to eat my pussy. Yes, it’s an actual cat.

9:45 PM Melissa, why did you choose music that seems to have a farter as one of the instruments?  You are making it hard to notice you’re a really good dancer! (But you are) I loved the pouty bobbing at the end, though.

9:47 PM Okay Ade, you managed to find more distracting music than Melissa. Thank God I don’t use Windows any more. Of course you brought enough dance to overwhelm that. Damn, sir! It’s a standing ovation, Cat says, but Mina notices everyone was standing to begin with.

9:49 PM David Getta is one of Mina’s favorite DJs. Kelly Rowland is…singing. Is that Dominic Sandoval as one of her backup dancers kneeling there? Why does Kelly think that twitching around like she is trying to keep her balance on a ball is cool? The camera angles are a little too frenetic, and Mina is pointing out that Kelly Rowland’s mic stand keeps moving between cuts. Ahhhh…someone is not a first-take performer…

9:50 PM I am sure every adoption agency is so grateful that The Orphan is being promoted so heavily.

9:56 PM Time to cut a girl, and the judges are unanimous. Nigel is doing a lot of explaining here, I think the amount of complaining he’s been hearing is getting to him. He is explaining, again, that they are picking the two they want to keep, not the one they want to cut. And that one is Caitlin. She has a terrific montage. Damn, she really had some great moments.

9:58 PM And for the chop from the guys, the judges unanimously choose Phillip, who clearly knows its coming. Nigel did however guarantee him and Caitlin tour spots. There is a weird “Oh my God,” I think from Jason. Now time for Phillip’s highlight reel. He’s really the Dominique Wilkins of this show. I don’t think anyone has more “How the hell does he DO that?” moments. One my favorite dorks in a long time is gone.

9:59 PM I am nearly crying at Phillip’s tearful goodbye. He is sounding like Lou Gehrig, and dammit, I am tearing up, too.

10:00 PM On one hand, I feel like a little piece of me died this time. But, it’s time to move forward, and the show is really kicking into gear now. And the cat is barfing now, which seems strangely appropriate, and purging. Well, that was fun, and I enjoyed the pure liveblog experience. I should find a few other things to do this for.

Good luck to the survivors!