feeling more like myself

Last weekend, Sylvanus and I were invited to my friend’s house. She was having a BBQ and pool party. I have been to said party before. A couple years ago. I went alone while still seeing “Patrick”. Patrick was out of town and I was in need of letting loose. It was during the time that I was beginning to feel suffocated in my relationship with Patrick.

Things were different now. I was going to this party with Sylvanus. The BBQ was delicious, and as the sun began to set, the pool beckoned me in. As I unbuttoned my jean dress and slid it off my shoulders, kicking off my heels, my black bikini was revealed. I approached the heated pool and even before I could step in, ‘Hope’ told me “to go away with your sexy body.” I couldn’t help but scoff the compliment as I jumped in.

As the night progressed, naturally, tops came off. Hope repeatedly told Sylvanus how much she was attracted to me. So, Sylvanus did his best to push the two of us together. Our lips touched briefly and clumsily in a kiss, I felt her hands caress my breasts. She thanked Sylvanus for allowing her to kiss me and then asked if she could kiss him. I thought what the hell. So I said “sure”. She kissed him, only their kiss lasted for much longer than mine and hers. This didn’t make me angry, it just put things into perspective. It was right then and there that I decided she still enjoyed men much more than woman and that’s ok. I dropped any idea of pursuing her for the rest of the evening.

The party was still fun and exciting and it was a breath of fresh air for both Sylvanus and I. We were able to be ourselves in the RL aspect, with real flesh and blood people. No, we did not interact as Master and sub, but more like a sexually charged couple who was happy and proud of it. It became very fulfilling to have people come to me for advice that night, whether they were gay men or straight women.

What both gave Sylvanus and I a chuckle, is when we would state ourselves as “kinky” people, the first question out of everyone’s mouth was, “Do you use toys?” If they only knew how using toys is nothing compared to the things he and I do on a regular basis. But, it’s where everyone starts I suppose. That’s how I started. When I found myelf sexually free and liberated from my first long term relationship, I purchased new sex toys and got the Play Boy channel on my cable line up. It is a big deal for couples to use a toy on each other or to masturbate in front of one another. It just amused us.

~

I have begun somewhat actively looking for a girlfriend. I joined a couple of gay friendly sites and just put my profile and pic up. We’ll see what happens.

Mistress Kyra is still a very big part of my life. She is special to me and always will be no matter who comes in or out of my life. She is my Mistress. There is no replacing my relationship with her.

What I am hoping to get out of this “girlfriend” search is a special friendship with someone who lives close to me. I am looking for a girl that I can do all those fun things girls do together, but we have a “special and intimate” relationship with each other. Someone whom I can view as my equal and can feel free to express myself intimately with. Eh, we shall see, I guess.