feeling more like myself

Last weekend, Sylvanus and I were invited to my friend’s house. She was having a BBQ and pool party. I have been to said party before. A couple years ago. I went alone while still seeing “Patrick”. Patrick was out of town and I was in need of letting loose. It was during the time that I was beginning to feel suffocated in my relationship with Patrick.

Things were different now. I was going to this party with Sylvanus. The BBQ was delicious, and as the sun began to set, the pool beckoned me in. As I unbuttoned my jean dress and slid it off my shoulders, kicking off my heels, my black bikini was revealed. I approached the heated pool and even before I could step in, ‘Hope’ told me “to go away with your sexy body.” I couldn’t help but scoff the compliment as I jumped in.

As the night progressed, naturally, tops came off. Hope repeatedly told Sylvanus how much she was attracted to me. So, Sylvanus did his best to push the two of us together. Our lips touched briefly and clumsily in a kiss, I felt her hands caress my breasts. She thanked Sylvanus for allowing her to kiss me and then asked if she could kiss him. I thought what the hell. So I said “sure”. She kissed him, only their kiss lasted for much longer than mine and hers. This didn’t make me angry, it just put things into perspective. It was right then and there that I decided she still enjoyed men much more than woman and that’s ok. I dropped any idea of pursuing her for the rest of the evening.

The party was still fun and exciting and it was a breath of fresh air for both Sylvanus and I. We were able to be ourselves in the RL aspect, with real flesh and blood people. No, we did not interact as Master and sub, but more like a sexually charged couple who was happy and proud of it. It became very fulfilling to have people come to me for advice that night, whether they were gay men or straight women.

What both gave Sylvanus and I a chuckle, is when we would state ourselves as “kinky” people, the first question out of everyone’s mouth was, “Do you use toys?” If they only knew how using toys is nothing compared to the things he and I do on a regular basis. But, it’s where everyone starts I suppose. That’s how I started. When I found myelf sexually free and liberated from my first long term relationship, I purchased new sex toys and got the Play Boy channel on my cable line up. It is a big deal for couples to use a toy on each other or to masturbate in front of one another. It just amused us.

~

I have begun somewhat actively looking for a girlfriend. I joined a couple of gay friendly sites and just put my profile and pic up. We’ll see what happens.

Mistress Kyra is still a very big part of my life. She is special to me and always will be no matter who comes in or out of my life. She is my Mistress. There is no replacing my relationship with her.

What I am hoping to get out of this “girlfriend” search is a special friendship with someone who lives close to me. I am looking for a girl that I can do all those fun things girls do together, but we have a “special and intimate” relationship with each other. Someone whom I can view as my equal and can feel free to express myself intimately with. Eh, we shall see, I guess.

Taken

This post is a commentary on the movie Taken, featuring Liam Neeson. I feel like I need to express what is on my mind, and simply get it out and done with so I can get back to your regularly scheduled programming. This is not a review of the film, which I thought was excellent, carrying an incredible intensity all the way through till the end. I am instead focusing on the on how I continued to process the film after watching it. This WILL contain spoilers.

Bluster is one of the most popular hobbies in the South, where I grew up. Men like to puff up their chest and make impossible declarations. “The man who messes with my daughter better not want his penis any more.” Or perhaps, “I’ve got 100 acres, ain’t nobody gonna find him.” In Taken, Liam Neeson’s Bryan is antithesis. There is no bluster, simply a determined ruthlessness, combined with the knowledge that not only will he do anything, but he is fully capable of the anything.

Taken carreis with it a simple moral code: in defense of one’s daughter, everything is permitted. It is readily apparent throughout the movie that Bryan is an avenging angel, who will get his daughter back, and will destroy everyone in his path. You quickly get tossed into the space of watching the long trail of gangster and goons with a sort of glee, knowing all of them are going to resist this irresistible force, and wondering simply how they will meet their end. Bryan cuts an enormous swath of destruction, leaving about forty bodies in his wake, and several more maimed for life. He works with nihilistic efficiency, and a smoldering fury that frequently edges into the sociopathic, as he kills, multilates, murders, executes, and tortures anyone who even is close to those hindering him.

To the film’s credit, it never flinches from Bryan’s cruelty, or apologizes for it. The movie depicts it all faithfully while trying to avoid being gratuitous. But it also forces the audience to occaisionally take a step and consider the havoc that Bryan is wreaking simply by virtue of how shockingly depraved the actions are. The first is when he finds Marko, the man that kidnapped his daughter, and his “interrogation” of this man consist of two spikes stabbed into his thighs, and hooking these spikes up to the light switch. We are treated to a graphic depiction of how painful the electricity is until Marko finally breaks and confesses what he has done. Bryan leaves the room, turning the power back on, and leaving Marko to writhe in agony for however long it will take for his body to shut down. While Marko is indisputably evil, having kidnapped Bryan’s daughter, and sold her to be auctioned off as a prostitute, it is impossible for the viewer to simply watching his body clenched in agony with the Homecoming Day cheerleading attitude we expect when we talk about this. The coldness with which Bryan leaves the room leaves one with a certain taste of sociopathy in his actions.

This hint gets reinforced soon after, when he goes to the home of the French intellegence officer, Jean-Claude, he knew from some point in his never-quite-explained past. As they talk over dinner, Jean-Claude’s wife attempting to be a gracious host, Bryan starts by launching accusations of embarassing frankness. The moment of discomfort shifts into another zone when Jean-Claude pulls a gun on Bryan at the dinner table. Bryan sprinkles the bullets from the pistol onto the table, showing he has already disarmed the weapon, then draws his own sidearm and shoots Jean-Claude’s wife. As Jean-Claude rushes to her aide, Bryan explains that Jean-Claude has the choice to turn on the people that bribed him, or Bryan will execute them both.

This moment simply shocks the conscience, and is impossible to reconcile. Here the audience is forced to pull back a bit from the protagonist. Even if you could justify Marko’s fate, for the moment you were watching the movie, it is impossible to defend, to one’s own morals, the lengths Bryan has now chosen to go to. From here, he takes his swatch of destruction through two more venues, eventually rescuing his daughter. After their tearful reunion, the two are then seen at LAX, with Bryan reuniting her with his ex-wife and her husband. From here, Bryan simply continues home, and later treats his daughter to a belated birthday surprise. Immediately, the viewer is left stunned that Bryan has not been led away in handcuffs, is not rotting in prison, or in any other way being held to account for the forty-odd bodies, numerous destroyed cars, and one destroyed building (okay, it was a trailer) he left behind in Paris. Further, anyone who has ever watch a mob movie knows what happens when you anger the powers of the underworld, who have chosen here merely to shrug their shoulders and lick their wounds. It’s a jarring reminder that in Taken, everything is permitted. This is the movie’s challenge to the viewers, and their beer-can bravado.

HNT~ cuffed, crimson…curious?

Another fabulous photo from the DomCon get together….

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2009 HNT Gallery

Photography

DC Fetish Shoot

mina writes …

Dangerous Lilly wrote a rather hot little piece of erotica and it has inspired one of my own. You can read my side here.

xoxoxo mina

thank you mistress

Thank you Mistress,

For allowing me to come and watch you work on a male slave.  You have left no doubts in my mind that you treat me with great tenderness in comparison. The pain I endure for you is nothing compared to the pain you inflict on others.

As I watched the blood appear in crimson drops as you removed the needles from his skin, I became amazed and wondered if anything like that would look as beautiful on me. The drops turned to a stream as his blood flowed gently. My eyes witnessed his blood smeared every where as you cropped him and pulled on his nipple chains.

His back and ass became a play ground for your floggers and single tails. You expertly broke his skin with each carefully placed stroke. His skin turned ruby red and glistened in the light.

~

Thank you Mistress Kyra, for spending time with me. Your time is valuable and I feel honored with every minute we get to spend together. Thank you for treating me to a delicious dinner.

~

Thank you Mistress Kyra, for taking me back into your dungeon. I feel honored to experience your training.

Thank you for allowing me to feel the strength of your nipple clamps. Thank you for your generosity and placing them beside my nipples. Once placed, they felt good and as time passed, I felt them tighten. I felt the weight of them pinching me. I felt their awful bite once removed.

Then came your clothes pins. Again, they were placed along my aerola. I felt their sharp bite as you paddled and cropped them off. Much to my dismay, two remained in place, no matter how hard you hit them. They refused to let go. Thank you for teaching me how to endure and thank you for being kind enough to remove them for me.

Thank you for blessing me with the feel of your flogger. The rhythmic *thuds* and seductive *stings* send me into orbit. The smell of leather and the feel of it’s softness makes me appreciate how quickly it can turn sinister. I love how it turns my skin pink, as I feel the heat erupt over my flesh. It’s a warm blanket on a cold, lonely night.

Thank you for taking me over your knee. Your cane is wicked and cruel and yet, it is hard to resist it’s stings. Your hands are the true blessing. Your flesh on my own. The *slap* of impact of your hand on my ass stimulates my ears and warms my skin. I glow from your touch and wiggle in defeat, as your finger nails scrape my skin.

~

Thank you Mistress Kyra for the marks you leave on my body. The bruises left are little reminders of your attention and training and hopefully, your adoration. I returned home after seeing you, my ass still red and hot to the touch, as Sylvanus pulled my panties down to look for himself. Everyday I look in the mirror and admire a mark left behind by you. These days, it’s a bruise on my left breast. I see it every day I undress in the bathroom, just before my shower.

~

Thank you Mistress Kyra….. for Tuesday.
~

And thank you Diva and Best Sex Bloggers for including this post as part of their “This week in Kink“

I Love Mina

As time has gone on, my favorite photograph I have taken remains the hoodie picture that you see on the sidebar of this blog. In a lot of ways, it symbolizes Mina to me, only exposing herself a sliver at a time. While we normally lift our proverbial skirt on this blog and show our naughtiest bits, there is a lot more to her than can be imagined. Today, I wanted to share a few other things about her.

• Mina is the only woman ever to send flowers, and she does it several times a year. And I love it. I love people at work going, “wait, who is sending the dude flowers?!”
• Mina makes wonderful pancakes. Though I do (or did) most of the cooking here, she has always been able to take care of herself, and I always, always love her thick, fluffy pancakes that can not possibly have too much good stuff on top of them.
• Mina loves the environment and everything in it. She drives a hybrid, and we keep an amazing menagerie of animals in our home that she takes the very best care of, no matter how long her day was or how tired she is.
• Mina is unfailingly pleasant in public. No matter what her state of mind is, she is always pleasant and cheerful to anyone she meets, and inevitably the charismatic half of us.
• Mina has the best laugh ever. I love listening to it, and she loves laughing.
• Mina loves music, and has boundless energy to find new music she enjoys. Her MP3 collection was the reason I bought the first backup drive in our house.
• Mina always sleep naked. The difference in our sizes is never more perfect than when we curl up in bed together and I spoon up behind her, and she fits perfectly against my body.
• There is no time in my life where I feel more peaceful and grounded that when I am snuggled with Mina under a thick comforter on a cool night.

I treasure my darling Mina, and as we begin our third year together, I want her to know what she means to me, in so many more ways than even our enormous volume of writing here captures.

I love you, beautiful.

Hi

It’s me world. Sylvanus.

I don’t know if you remember me. I mean, I know you know I take pictures, but I used to be a decent writer, too. Even wrote some hot ones.

Yeah, I’ve been busy.

So, where to begin? *deep breath* Well, my last real post (as in, about my life) waaaaas…*checking the archives*…hmmm…right..April. April 9th. So…over a month ago. Let’s see…what has happened since then?

• We told Mina’s mom that we are not moving in with her.
• We have expanded our marvelous sex life with Kyra.
• We have done several photo shoots.
• My sister has visited us from the other side of the Mississippi, and I did a few shoots with her.
• I have found myself worn to exhaustion as the economy has beaten us down on the real job
• We had an amazing weekend last weekend at DomCon, without ever going.

In a way, it is that weird feeling like after my divorce, on my first trip back home, when I saw my old friends again, and they had never heard a word from me for months, as though I had disappeared from Earth.

There’s been a lot, and it’s gotten to be so much I hardly know where to begin. I mean, it’s easy to make excuses about how busy photography has kept me, how tight money is…but…writing was always for me. The act of sharing it publicly was part of the act of writing. Without expressing my thoughts to the world, they don’t really count. But I haven’t had time for that. Me, I mean. I haven’t had time to take care of myself.

My life has been, well, fantastic, in its typical heartbreaking splendor. I found myself completely exhausted and spent on Tuesday, and with every remaining day and night booked for the rest of the week, into the weekend. But really, what it all is, is that I have felt like me, moreso than Sylvanus. That certain endearing pomposity that I attribute to my dominant side that lets me take such an awkward Latin name to my writing has been missing. I have been hurt, or knocked down, just worn down, and needing to recover at a human level.

The wonderful news for me is that Mina will always do what she has to.

Last night, she went to watch Kyra work, and wreak some of her most determined havoc on a long-time client of hers. The man’s skin was left in a maze of broken skin, blood trickling over his body, a biohazard in wingtips. On one hand, it was shocking, and threw into sharp perspective how gentle Kyra is with Mina. On the other, Kyra decided that she wanted a private play session with Mina (which I happily acceded to). Mina came home with her ass on fire, and blossoming bruises on her breasts. Once she got home, she was very clear that while she had certainly had her pain for the night, she still needed her pleasure. We caught up on our TV shows and went to bed.

After talking for a bit, and slowly winding our minds down, she curled up under my arm, and we kissed. Like that, lying next to each other, without moving anything else, we made out softly in the darkness. Her hand drifted up and down my thighs, and I could feel my body lifting in response. Her hand came to rest on my cock, closing on it. We continued to kiss, our hands on each other, until she swung a leg over me, setting her body up on mine. After a bried experiment trying to take me in, she slid down and took me in her mouth, wetting my hardness, and then sat back up, settling on my cock. Once comfortably inside, she laid down on me, and began to rock. At first her lips teased on my neck, and I could feel the orgasm welling up rapidly inside me. So, she stopped, and concentrated on her own pleasure first, writhing on me, her body on mine until her orgasm began with a literate, unabashed yell, announcing her climax to all who could hear.

I smiled at the feel of her body on me, and she continued to move on me, this time licking and kissing my neck, knowing that I would soon be returning the orgasm. In short order, I was pulsing inside her, releasing myself into her body as she grinned against my neck, enjoying the feel of her man leaving himself inside her.

As she dismounted and settled back on her side, happily fulfilled on her day, I felt something familiar inside. I felt a little like Sylvanus again.

So yeah, here I am.

Did you miss me?

HNT ~ Stolen Moment

As we were doing wardrobe up between sets, Kyra and Mina took a moment to themselves while I was doing test shots. As is often the case, the pictures you don’t plan on tend to be favorites.

And yes, this black leather skirted corset was what Kyra was wearing when she got to our place.

If you haven’t been following the slow drip of pictures from last weekend’s fetish shoot:

You

Should

Check

These

Links

Now

—

2009 HNT Gallery

Photography

DC Fetish Shoot

buzz buzz buzz

Life has been buzzing along. I have many days’ worth of tales to tell. I should have started writing days ago… but… well.. life just kept buzzing along.

Thursday night found Sylvanus and myself with our friend Steve. He is very creative and makes his own restraints. Sylvanus met him through Fetlife and we all got to know each other better at the photo shoot from a few months ago.

Steve had fun fitting me with many of his creations. He had various collars, cuffs, shackles, gags and so much more. While I had fun modeling all these items, Sylvanus and Steve exchanged photography skills. Sylvanus showed Steve his techniques. While wearing a beautiful, white, leather collar and my angel wings…. this picture was taken.

We had a lot of fun with Steve and it was just as exciting for me to try on all these different items. I’m sure it was great for Sylvanus to talk and show what he knows about his passionate hobby.

~

Friday night was yet another photo shoot. Steve came back with his many trunks of bondage, but that wasn’t all. Another model named Summer came over and she brought a friend, “V”. V is well skilled at the art of rope bondage. Summer had a chance to try on many of Steve’s things and I made a few appearances in her shots. Mistress Kyra came to join our little get together. It was a fantastic evening of sexy fetish wear, bondage in leather, rope and metal and a sexy, fun atosphere. The house was alive with laughter and sex talk. I wonder what the neighbors thought when people stepped out for cigarettes still dressed in various stages of fetish wear.

One of the highlights of my evening was being bound with rope by V. It was the most intense bondage I have ever experienced. When I say V is an expert.. I mean it. She made beautiful and intricate designs with the rope and then when it came time, I was pushed face first unto on ottoman and she bound my legs and feet and wove some rope through my hair. Before I knew it, I was hog tied with a rope bit through my mouth and pulled and stretched till I thought my body was going to break. My neck was stretched back so much, I could barely swallow. I was told to “just drool”. *snicker*

Sylvanus clicked away the whole night. Some of the photos have been posted in a slow drip just below.

The absolute highlight of my Friday night/Saturday morning was a decadent threesome with Sylvanus and Mistress Kyra. It was a special and well appreciated evening. It was all about pleasure for me. The two of them switched off touching, licking and kissing me. It wasn’t at all about pain. I was a delicious mina sandwich with Sylvanus behind me on the bed, kissing and touching me and in front of me, I had Mistress Kyra. I was drunk with passion as my fingers and hands ran along her curves. I bit my lip and held myself back, knowing I am not to touch, that which I am not told to.

I was in ecstasy as I felt not one, but two tongues on my thighs. Then one tongue dipped into my wet cunt followed by another. I was truly in heaven and loving every second of it.

~

Saturday morning had us all up fairly early considering we went to bed after 3 in the morning. I made us all pancakes as Sylvanus made us coffee.

After serving my Master and Mistress breakfast, we all went back into the bedroom. Of course with pleasure, comes pain. To offset the gentleness of the night before, Mistress Kyra and Sylvanus took turns inflicting pain on me. As he held my legs apart, Kyra cropped my thighs. Her teeth assaulted my body. I felt the crop, paddle and bare handed spankings all over my body.

Once complete, Sylvanus took to using my body. On all fours, my face pressed into the mattress, my ass in the air, Sylvanus fucked me hard. Mistress Kyra grabbed 2 belts for him and he looped them around my shoulders and used them as riding reins. He violently pulled me into him as he thrust his cock deep within me. As Mistress Kyra prepared herself for the day’s activities, she enjoyed a little “fuck” show.

Later that night, Sylvanus and I went to a concert where I danced my little ass off and was in awe of one of my favorite singers. I was blessed with watching Lady Gaga perform a set at this concert. I adore her so much and she has quickly become top of my “list of celebrities I hope to meet one day”.

~

Sunday was a pretty normal day for us. *giggles* I found some amazing stockings in Frederick’s of Hollywood and Sylvanus and I saw Star Trek on the IMAX. Awesome!!!!

~

Monday… turned out to be pretty darn vanilla. I did land a job interview. I was vastly disappointed. It was not an interview at all. They never once asked me a single question. Did my resume really speak that highly of myself? I would think there would be at least ONE question. Like…. tell me about your last job? Have you had experience doing….? Nope. Nothing. Not one question. Just a tour of the facility and a “we’ll call you at the end of the week.” If they do, well, I will decline the job. For one thing, I know I am TOO qualified. Secondly, what they will be offering me in pay and hours is not enough for me to get a job there. I make double on unemployment. So, yeah, I’d rather stay home and blog, thank you very much! *grins*

~

Tuesday… ah Tuesday was fun. Mistress Kyra and I met up and picked out her dress for my wedding. As well as the shoes I will be wearing under my gown. Seems only natural that I would ask my lovely Mistress to be by my side the day of my wedding, doesn’t it?

Afterward, Mistress Kyra allowed me to watch her in a session with someone else. She took me out to dinner and for dessert, she played with me as well. I think I will leave that for another detailed post. This one has gone on enough.

Buzz buzz buzz…. what have you been up to since Thursday night?

The Slow Drip – Marks