Toy Review – Chocolate Body Paint

This review of Chocolate Fantasy Body Finger Paints provided to us by Domina Doll at sextoy.com.

People who know me know that I am a foodie. I love to cook, and I love to make delicious food, and I love eating it. Mina can also verify that I am a very oral person, and I love to have my lips on her body. So, when the idea of an edible body paint comes along, it is a natural merging of many of my passions. (There’s a Seinfeld joke about Pastrami in here.)  Of course, sextoy.com generously provided us with some sample sex toys to review, and review we did.

The Package

Dirty Store Basic – fused clamshell plastic so you can see the goods, and the same package can be used for many different toys and sold under many different brands. Nothing special, but nothing that bad, either.

Getting Familiar

The kit comes with four flavors of paint and two toppings. Oddly “plain chocolate” is not a flavor available. You are given the choice of Chocolate Raspberry, Chocolate Strawberry, Chocolate Almond, and Mocha. Each flavor comes in a separate small jar, which is conveniently sized for dipping a finger into. The toppings come in two plastic flat packs made of an amazingly robust material that does not easily open without tools. Best to keep some safety scissors handy (good tool for any kinky bedroom).

Putting it to work

So, one special sexy night, I break out the paints on a blindfolded Mina. I opened the jar of chocolate almond, and peeled off the freshness seal, and took a first whiff of the paint, and recoiled at the wicked chemical smell. I dabbed my finger in, and took a quick taste, and blanched. I was lucky Mina was blindfolded for this! It tasted like Amaretto that had been boiled down and mixed with a pinch of ground-up generic Christmas chocolate. To use an expression that is alarmingly appropriate, it tasted like ass, (and I know what ass tastes like!)

So Almond was a no. I switched over to the safe one, Chocolate Strawberry. I was greeted with a sharp acidic taste, reminiscent of the “cherry liqueur” chocolates one might get in an especially sketchy sampler box. It other words, it was awful. Next was the Chocolate Raspberry, which was a different color than the Strawberry, but little better. Finally there was the Mocha. It was dominated by a strong instant coffee taste. In other words, while foul, it was considerably more tolerable than the others.

Once applied to the skin, it dries well, and stays in place. It never becomes runny, so it is easy to paint whatever design you might have in mind. And it does taste somewhat better coming off of Mina’s skin than being licked experimentally. But the fact is that these paints are edible in the same sense that things like paste, play-doh, and crayons are edible. They aren’t harmful to eat, but they are not at all tasty.

My experience with the body paints was much different. I never actually had to taste them, though I did have a small taste when Sylvanus spread some across my lips. I couldn’t help but have a lick and what I tasted was nothing like chocolate at all. I guess that’s why it is called chocolate flavored body paint right?

The paints didn’t smell very good either. Sylvanus put the almond chocolate flavor up to my nose and I remember flinching just a little.

The whole experience, however, was fantastic. I was bound and at his delicious mercy. It was a thrilling feeling to have him spread this paint on my body. His fingers worked quickly to smear it here and there. Touching my pussy lips made me gasp. He followed his fingers with his lips. Starting where he first began “painting” me and ending at my pussy lips. I was aching for his mouth to touch me there. Of course he tortured me by first licking my outer lips before actually plunging within my folds. So for me, the experience was quite pleasurable. Sylvanus even commented on how extremely vocal I was.

He expressed how awful it all tasted during our after glow of the sex that soon happened after the body painting. Hearing him say that it tasted awful made the experience a little disappointing for me. I did enjoy a lot of pleasure, but he had to stomach the awful taste. It’s like if a girl sucks your cock and swallows and you think it was the best oral you have ever had and she looks up at you and says, “you taste awful”. It does kind of blow the experience doesn’t it?

Look, if you are looking to have some body painting fun… I suggest actually using chocolate, or honey, or whatever it is you enjoy. Chocolate syrup can work just as great and can be heated just right. Even better, it actually tastes like chocolate! So forget these body paints and get yourself the real deal.

Conclusions

The chocolate finger paint is nice idea, but it begs for better execution. I am not a crunchy, natural-food sort of guy, who gets all huffy about artificial ingredients. I like artificial ingredients, and preservatives. However, these paints would be greatly improved if actual chocolate, strawberries, raspberries, or coffee were involved, rather than berry flavors, and chocolate flavors. The performance as a paint is good, but the edible part meets only a technical definition. In the end, I would have trouble recommending these over any other non-toxic finger paints. You can find these or other body paints here at sextoy.com