Border Collies are an intelligent, biddable breed with an instinctive desire to work closely and intensely with a human handler…True to their working heritage, Border Collies make very demanding, energetic pets that are better off in households that can provide them with plenty of exercise and a job to do….Border Collies are unsuitable pets for people who cannot or will not provide a considerable amount of daily exercise for their dogs, both physical and mental.
-From the wikipedia article on the Border Collie
There are certain challenges associated with having an intelligent pet. As the above quotation concerning the notoriously active and intelligent Border Collie breed illustrates, keeping a pet busy can be a full-time occupation. When your pet is human being, the difficult increases by logarithm. When that human being is as intelligent and perceptive as Mina, it goes up yet another.
There is a simple fact about submission – it cannot occur in a vacuum. It is all well and good to expect submission all the time, but it does precious little good without giving the pet something to submit to. And therein lies the classic high-wire act of being a dom: You gotta keep the little devil busy. And, the fact is that is not always easy, especially when the rest of the world constantly serves to disrupt the state of mind that you have so carefully orchestrated. Not to mention the need to actually function in society is quite incompatible with complete submission.
And this is the constant tug-of-war was a “lifestyle BDSM” couple. I would like her to come home a proper submission, behaving appropriately, and understanding that she need to surrender her will, to choose not to choose, but to offer up that choice to another. And, on the other side, I need to be attentive, and I need to keep her busy. Ultimately, it will always fall to me to be the one she submits to. And, if I expect her to be happy in her role, I need to be the one to give, to provide structure, and satisfaction. Moreover, in all of this, I also need to extract my own satisfaction from the activities I choose for her.
One thing that has begun are “focusing” sessions. Which are simply super-light massages. On a tough day, I may actually give her a good back massage first. Then, she is to lay on her back, and visualize her bonds. Her collar, her wrists bound, her feet trapped. She is not permitted to move as I carress her body, especially her sensitive eyebrows. As she relaxes, and slips into an almost hypnotic state, I begin to up the ante, to carress her body more intimately, daring her not to react, forcing her to honor the ethereal bonds on her body. Every movement results in a stoppage, and I wait for her body to relax again. Of course, I explained very few of these rules to her, and left them for her to figure out for herself. Luckily, Mina elucidated the game very quickly, and serves well to relax her, and ease her into sleep at night. It also helps to re-establish our roles in each others’ lives.
It’s a simple step, but it is the beginning. With this foundation, I can begin to use pain again in her life, to help shape her other behavior as well, and to begin building her into the submissive she wishes to be. I write this post hoping that I can drive myself to take better care of darling pet, as I have grown to understand her needs.
