it started on twitter

It started over twitter. Elise, a very sexy friend of mine via twitter and now thru blogging, got it all started with a response to my telling her my life is fantastic at the moment. Her response? “Hahahaha Good, rub it in! lol“ Well this got me going and here are how things unfolded. Elise will be in dark red.

I’ll rub it in like a good warm scented oil on chilled skin.

mmmm, thats some ggoooood rubbing! hehe

mmmm yes it is… soft fingers massaging oiled and stressed skin. Time to rub the day away. Just lay down, relax your body, remove your shirt and let my fingertips trace your spine.

damn woman! Just ur descriptions are making me relax! How do you do it! All I gotta do now is convince the otha half 2 do it, HA! ummmm, akward but ummm, now I’m getting turned on by your imaginary fingers lol (please dont stop!)

hehehe Awkward? Don’t want to make you feel awkward, but since you insist I don’t stop ….I let my fingers feel every detail of your ribs as I massage deeply into your flesh.

I insist you dont stop - unless you have to… Wanna know what makes this more unbareable? Im coming 2 US next —-, but (not naming location here)

coming to the US? awww but not near me.. wanted to get that back rub in person huh?

I cant express how much I’d love to meet u & Sylvanus..Its not all about the backrub, altho I AM enjoying it immensely

Can’t blame you… I’d straddle your hips pantiless. Letting my warmth touch the curve of the small of your back. My hips rock back and forth as I massage you. Goosebumps erupt all over your skin… and mine

urgh, you’re killing me, in a really really good way!

I’m sure I can speak for Sylvanus when I say we would be delighted to meet you too! My fingers stretch forward taking your shoulders. My breasts lean and brush your back. My hips rock forward…

aww, ur making me blush (my face, my face, you dirty woman!)

your face? you disappoint me (not really hee hee) Now I want to make you …”flush!”

trust me, I’m blushing in all the right places!

running my wetness down the back of your leg as I nestle onto your ankle… my hands working your thighs. my hands drift upwards and grab your plump ass. My fingers massage you and I melt within your flesh. You feel my wetness. i lean forward, pressing against you, kissing those lovely cheeks. My fingers dig into you slightly

dig ur fingers in as deep as you want. I like the marks.

oh you do do you? Well then… *bites* might as well leave some great marks! *smack*

ouch! Again, please, again! *giggles*

Mmm *bites sinking my teeth into you.. hard, releasing you to caress the bite mark left in my teeth’s place*

thank you, it feels a little sore, but in a good way. It’s hot and damp from ur saliva.

I want to hear you squeal in delightful pain

Anyone know how to make a squealing noise on twitter? :-S Im more likely to moan and squirm a little, than squeal

I’ll take a moan.. that will do *smiles* and the more you squirm, the happier I will be. I will have to handcuff your wrists

yes please…squirming against restraints is even more satisfying and fun!

yes that sounds good. Handcuff your wrists behind your back. Now all you can do is squirm and moan as I bite and spank you

now Im all cuffed up, I appear to be at your mercy - umm, what you gonna do?

I thought I might dig my fingers into your flesh, spread you in front of me and lick you.

please! Sent a shiver straight down into my pussy

raise your hips, getting you on your knees, spread, face into the mattress… My tongue runs from your clit to your ass.

ugnuhh (sound of me moaning into the mattress)

oh you like that do you? *licking your clit and tasting the juices from your slit.*

(brief break in which I declare I’m not getting any work done and Elise tries to wiggle her way out by saying she is a distraction)

Honey, you are a pleasant distraction to my work day *slips fingers inside you* Now where were we?

please stick a finger in, two, three…

oh yes dear… 2 fingers for now… licking your sweetness, working myself in and out of you…

I am twisting on your fingers, but you appear to be withdrawing them and teasing me in a most frustrating manner…lol

i do enjoy being a tease. *moves on my back underneath you, my head between your thighs, my tongue at your clit.*

*squirming on top of you, pressing my hips down but scared to smother you*

Don’t be scared sweetie, push into me.. let’s get this job done right. *moans into you, the vibrations stimulating you*

think you’re doing your job pretty damn well

hee hee good.. *licks you good and deeply, fingers thrusting into you.* Want you to go to bed with sexy thoughts.

oh, well, I do have to go to bed now, as much as Id rather stay up! And I can tell u my body is doing sexy things as is my mind.. thanks so much hunny..enjoy the rest of your day. I’ll have to repay you sometime lol

no prob dear.. just as long as I helped put a smile on your face. G’nite *smooches*

And thus ended our little fun.. I know I know.. we ended at just the right time to tease! The experience itself was a lot of fun. It felt good to suddenly get these feelings and act on them and more so, it felt great to put a smile on someone else’s face.

So I guess you could consider this experience as a little domination on my part.

-

That night, Sylvanus came home. He speaks to me sternly. I can tell I am to be disciplined and it must be for my play. I was confused. Earlier in the day, I thought he was enjoying our play.

He starts by closing all the blinds in the house and undoing his buttons. He tells me to stand in the middle of the living room as he lays a blanket down below me. He motions me to undress and he takes my shirt and pants off.

“I am revoking your right to clothes tonight.”  I shiver. The house is cold.

“Assume the position.”

I get down on all fours, elbows down and head to the floor, my ass is in the air and my legs are spread.

He spanks me hard. “So you had fun playing today did you? You know that Elise asked me privately if it was ok to play with you? Did you ask her to?”

“No… ” I answer in between spanks. I am yelping and whimpering. I am upset at such a punishment for my play. I thought he liked it.

“Who are you?” he asks…

“Your submissive.”

“Why did we buy you that public collar you wear at all times now?”

“So that I can be your submissive at all times.”

“Then why is it that Elise can ask me for permission to play with you, but you didn’t ask me? Did you think of doing it and then you didn’t?”

“No … I didn’t think to ask.”

This is where I learned my biggest lesson about being a submissive, at least a new one living the lifestyle. I had separated myself. When I began playing with Elise, I was not acting as Master’s submissive, instead, I was acting as Sylvanus’s girlfriend. In doing so, I had assumed that playing with a girl, would not be a problem. I was wrong. As his submissive, it is not alright to play with another.. no matter what gender. Elise was perceptive enough to know such things.. I was not. As a submissive, I had failed my Master.

He spanked me hard many times… then he said something else that threw me into another emotional loop… “I told her to go ahead and play with you and make sure to get you in trouble for a spanking.”

Now my mind spiraled… not only had I separated myself from my submissiveness, BUT I also suddenly felt as though I had been deceived. Here I thought she wanted to play with me, when really, she could have just been doing it all for my punishment.

Just when I thought I couldn’t take any more, Sylvanus stopped his spankings and changed his words. Now he was going to fuck me. He brought out the 2 belts so he could loop them through my arms as he rammed into me from behind. As he pounded into me, his words changed. Suddenly he spoke of how hot our interactions were. How much he enjoyed watching us. He was actually very pleased by our play. He came deep inside me and leaned off and told me to lay down.

My head was still spiraling. Though I know Master is happy and he was just disappointed I did not ask first, I couldn’t come out of my trance.

“Are you alright?”

“It’s just hearing you say that you told her to get me in trouble makes me second guess if she really did want to play with me.”

“I can assure you that she very much enjoyed all of it and it wasn’t about getting you in trouble.”

And I know this… I know this very well. I know Elise and I had some good play time. I don’t feel as though it was all about getting me punished.

I expressed how all of it caught me off guard. That I had managed to respond differently. I made the mistake of separating my submissiveness. I was responding as his girlfriend and in doing so, I was now being punished for playing with whom I thought was a safe call. So this confused me and made me whine.

The fact that I did not recover from our session quickly and that I had all this conflicting thoughts, sent Sylvanus into his own loop.

Sylvanus can be a very sensitive person and that can be a good or bad thing, but if one thing goes wrong, suddenly everything has to shut down. That night when we went to bed, he made the decision that the D/s lifestyle was not for us. It just wasn’t working. It’s a hasty decision.. I agree.

Today I am left regretting how I responded. I learned a very valuable lesson about my submission, but at the cost of my submission. How ironic.

Every day this week, Sylvanus has left a little note on the bed with a change of clothes for when I come home from work. These are my clothes for the evening and my instructions until he comes home. I have to admit I wasn’t surprised that there weren’t any clothes laid out for me… but the note left me sad.

I have chosen nothing, because I am leaving you to your own devices tonight. Your submission will not be accepted. Please wear your —- necklace instead of your collar.

I will however, expect your submission for Role Play Friday

-Sylvanus

Firstly, this drains me… My “Master” is leaving me to my own devices tonight. My submission will not be accepted.. not accepted... powerful words….

The fact that he would tell me and leave it for me to see as he strikes out the part of taking off my collar, really makes me sad.

I regret the way I responded, I am only human. I have put doubt in his head. I took my collar off. I can not be a submissive to a Master who does not want to be a Master. It is up to him to place it on me once more.