Being a submissive owner

Now that we are a good week into our new lifestyle, we are settling in to the experience, and our respective roles. Mina clearly loves the comfort of being collared, and being locked into her collar. It is a positive thing for both of us. Additionally, chaining her collar to the bed has made her sleep MUCH more contentedly. I have not slept as well, but we don’t know enough to blame the chains yet, since I don’t think I have been waking up in the middle of the night. But I do have a long history of sleep disorders, so it bears watching.  Switching away from the banal…

Yesterday something else. We are both members of fetlife.com, and we connect with a lot of fellow bloggers there. On there, we are listed as couple, and explicitly spell out the nature of our relationship in our respective profiles. Of course, since she puts a lot of stuff about herself out there, a lot of people reach out to her. While I was at work I received an email to my “real life” account addressed to “my dearest Master.” This blurring of the line between our private life and real life makes me smile, and also makes me look forward to not taking her collar off (or letting her wear a turtleneck) when we go out.

In the email she mentioned that another fetlife member had contacted her and been flirtatious with her. Been a natural flirt, she had responded in kind. While nothing had “happened” (to the extent that things “happen” in cyberspace) she had taken it upon herself to bring this up. One of the curses of owning a submissive as obviously desirable as Mina is that, well, I’m hardly the only one who notices. However, having her start the conversation about him with me so early created a tremendous warmth in me. I gave her permission to flirt with him to heart’s content, and a specific set of instructions as to what she would need to tell me about, since I don’t want all the details. At the end of the conversation, I was very pleased with her. 

What I see is this proactive desire from her, in the same way she will wordlessly kneel in front of me when it is collar time, without my having to ask. I also took some time to tell her my first impression of the person on fetlife, which was (and continues to grow) negative, mainly because of the way he is choosing to interact with her as though I don’t exist. However, the way in which Mina has chosen to mention him allows me to completely separate how I feel about him from what I think of her. There are elements of my past, my ancient past, that cause me to see many undercurrents in how men interact with her online, to the edge of paranoia. (There it is again!) So, I appreciate this accommodation she has made, and in return I am choosing to be more hands off with her interactions online. 

I share this because this one of the real, substantial things from our new way of interacting that has improved both of our lives. Its easy to play armchair psychologist and try to undercut why we would enjoy our Master/submissive lifestyle. But, the reality of what happens between us, as a couple, not just people who fuck, is where the real beauty in this relationship lies. As you view our life through the dewdrop lens of this blog, it is impossible to see the full psychological space of who we are. And I hope I have opened a few second eyes to the depth of what we have together.

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In other news, our sex life has been Michael Bay awesome.  (I am sure Mina is rolling her eyes as she reads this. She knows I hate Michael Bay.) While we have not been exploring the sadomasochistic aspects of our sex life much, the absolute control I have taken over it, in shaping her behavior has worked wonders. One area I was pleasantly surprised, as well, is that she has responded with remarkable vigor to oral sex as well. It is almost as though we are coming out of some sort of haze, and our nerves are more alive than ever. Her body feels warmer against mine, her skin softer, and the clench of her muscles more powerful. I have never felt more aware of her as a lover, and I am enjoying her more than ever. In bed, she is more vocal than ever, which lets me be even more responsive to her feelings, knowing precisely what pleases her.

In short, life is good.