girl crush (and a meme)

As a little update, Sylvanus and I have been very busy packing for our move this weekend. My pink leather collar has been locked into place every day upon his return home. I have also been sleeping with my chains… life is good.

During a drive one day, Sylvanus and I got into a conversation that I started. I discussed how little girls get crushes on older women. I would like to think that this happens to all little girls.

To elaborate, I was under the age of 10. I can think of 2 women in specific that I just adored. I had a genuine crush on them. It was nothing sexual (I was less than 10 for God’s sake!) but i just adored these women.

One was a waitress at this Texas themed restaurant my family would frequent. Their costumes were very racy. This might very well be my first exposure to women as sexual creatures. They wore bikini tops with a leather vest. Bikini bottoms with ruffles on the back covered (somewhat) by leather chaps. Of course they wore boots and the cowgirl hats. Every girl had a color… red, yellow, purple… Honestly, I don’t remember what color my waitress wore, though aqua stands out in my mind. Nor, do I remember her name. I just remember how much I adored her. I would get a big smile on my face when I would see her. Come to think of it, I’m sure we (my family) had our picture taken with her.

OK back to my waitress friend… I can’t think of a better word than to say I adored her. I don’t know what it was. The costume? Her beauty? Her kindness? Did I admire what she did as a living? I don’t know.. but I had a major crush on her.

The 2nd woman I remember, was a secretary who worked for the company that shared the same building as my father’s business. As a child, I spent a lot of my summer days at my dad’s work. My mom would go and help him out and of course I would have to go along too. I quickly made friends with all the employees of the other company. Sharon, the secretary, became my new crush. She was a living Barbie doll… no joke. She was slender and curvaceous. Had thick blond hair… (lots of body and hairspray it was the 80s). She wore short skirts and tight shirts. Oh and let’s not forget the stilettos! She had them in all colors. Red, black, white… I remember them vividly. The heel was twisted and spiked like a unicorn’s horn and silver in color. The part that attached to the shoe was formed into a ribbon. She had long fingernails too. I wonder how she typed with those! Oh and like Barbie, she drove a corvette.

I loved Sharon… I adored her. I went to see her everyday and I loved helping her. I would file for her, sort the mail, whatever I could do. I remember one day she broke my heart because she told me I couldn’t come visit her as often as I had been because her boss felt I was interfering with her work. But it wasn’t that that separated us, she ended up moving to another state.

So what is it about little girl’s getting crushes on older women? I didn’t view this women as a mommy figure. It wasn’t anything sexual… I just adored these women and looked up to them. I had a crush on them. I would bring them gifts whenever I could too. A rose, a card, a stuffed animal… Am I the only one? Did you have a little girl crush? Men, did you go through something like this as a little boy with older men?

Oh and last week I got tagged by the Duke Orsino. I was supposed to write a 6 word memoir…. This is what I came up with:

once denied: now able to embrace

As that has been my love life these past 10 years… always denied what I desired the most. Now with Sylvanus, I am able to embrace all that I am and desire.

Instructions:
1. Write your own six word memoir
2. Post it on your blog and include a visual illustration if you’d like
3. Link to the person that tagged you in your post and to this original post if possible, so we can track it as it travels across the blogosphere
4. Tag five more blogs with links
5. And don’t forget to leave a comment on the tagged blogs with an invitation to play!

I won’t be tagging anyone, but feel free to do it on your own and let me know!