wait your turn

“wait your turn”

Yes, this seems to be the motto of my life. I am not a demanding person. I take things as they come. One day at a time. I have always had faith in what goes around, comes around.

It took me 3 years to get into the special school I attended to pursue my career. While there, I worked my ass off and dedicated all my time. My efforts were rewarded by wonderful experiences I gained while there and upon graduating, I landed a wonderful job for a fantastic company and out of all of my classmates (possibly most of my colleagues), I believe I am indeed, more well off than most.

I’ve been at my current job for almost 6 years. It took me probably 3 years just to start earning the respect I deserve. But perhaps, it’s because of who I am. I was 24 when I started working here. I am 5 feet tall. I was a young, small thing… I absolutely believe that it inadvertently  made (and continues to make) people treat me like a child. It’s just something I deal with. Perhaps I should feel blessed that I will look younger than a really am for years to come. …. It is both a blessing and a curse.

Wait your turn ….

My love life.

I spent my 20’s looking for Mr. Right. Looking for Mr. He’s The ONE.

I spent 6 and 1/2 years waiting for “The Cuban” to grow up and marry me. Never happened and I am thankful. Gawd if I had married him!!!!

I spent a little over a year waiting for Ethan to fall in love with me. And when it came to be too painful, I asked him to leave. 

I spent nearly 2 years waiting for Patrick to pull himself together and realize I was not the only one who was failing our relationship. Waiting for Patrick to realize I was a living and breathing, flesh and blood woman waiting in an empty bed every night for him. Waiting for him to close up the lap top and love me the way I needed it. 

Wait your turn.

Now, I have Sylvanus, my frog prince, the love of my love. The man who saved me. The man who made me believe that I can have it all.  

Or can I?

Wait your turn.

Sylvanus is not mine to have. Not completely. He legally belongs to another. I sat back and watched Leap Day pass me by. It is true that I do not want to be the one proposing. I want to be proposed to, after all, I have been waiting so long for that day, but had I even wanted to ask him, it would have lead to no where.

There is something wonderful about meeting someone special. Both fresh and new in love and life. Together, you find love and you build a future.  Not knowing what that will take. Not knowing the hard work that comes into maintaining a life and love together. How could you? You are both new at this.

But that road, didn’t work for me.  

So, I choose a new one. Trying my hand with someone who is well versed in such things. Someone mature. Someone whom I appreciate just as much as he appreciates me. But, it is not an easy road to take. There are many speed bumps. There are many sudden turns and often delays.  

Patience is my gift. So I will wait my turn. My day will come and when it does, it will be beautiful.

“wait your turn”

My day will come.