The Rules of Cunnilingus

At Kevin’s behest, I am taking a crack at explaining this black art, with some help from an actual woman. Of course, the “actual woman” is the lovely and sexy Mina.

Rule 1: Pay attention to your woman.

What works for one woman may or may not work for another. I can suggest all kinds of techniques, but the best licker is the one who is reading his woman’s signs. Some women are very vocal, and god bless ‘em. (Mina is such a woman.) Others respond physically. Look at their breathing, their hands, their hips. Do they shove their hips in your face? They want more pressure. Do their hands tug at you? Get closer. Are her hands pushing your head off? Leave her alone. Is she spraying Mace on you? Call your lawyer.

Here’s more bad news. I could tell any woman, “Put your lips around his cock, suck hard and bob your head with increasing speed until you taste something salty squirting in your mouth,” and that would pretty much work for any guy. Sure, I could elaborate on other moves guys like, things to do with your hands, but giving a blowjob is a science. I give you a recipe, you follow it. Licking a woman is an art. Mina loves having two fingers inside her, gently curling on her g-spot while I rub the flat of my tongue back and forth on her clit. Yet, some women don’t want any fingers, some want their clit flipped with the tongue, some want it sucked, some want four fingers, some want one, some want one in the anus. And, “sheer ecstasy” for one woman can easily turn into “get off me!” for another.

And, since I’m on a roll, here’s another one: She probably can’t help you. I don’t know how many guys have imagined what it is like to have a cunt, but if you haven’t, let me point something out to you: you can’t see it. As a result, you can’t see what anyone else is doing down there, either. So, no, she probably doesn’t know what move in your arsenal she likes best. Sorry.

Here’s the good news: The things that make you good at giving tongue make you good at everything else in bed, too. The more you learn to read your woman, and understand what she responds to, the better you will be in every aspect of your sex life. The best lovers do not have a “moves list.” They interact, they exist, they CONNECT.

There isn’t much more that I can add here. Sylvanus is doing a wonderful job. It is important to remember what works with one lady, will probably not work with another. Direct HARD stimulation of my clit makes me want to rip a guy’s hair out (and not in the good way) I get over stimulated. I do want something inside my pussy when getting licked. My muscles need to have something to feel and clamp down on, it makes the whole experience yummier. As Sylvanus has said before, there is no way I can tell you what he does that feels so good. I can’t see and don’t feel the need to purchase a little mirror thats going to allow me to do so. I guess one day, I can stop him and ask him to show me just what he is doing. Another note about me personally, I am not the kind of woman who lies back and let’s the pleasure take her. It won’t happen. I HAVE to rock my hips and grind against him. Bless Sylvanus…. I have probably suffocated, brought him close to a bloody nose and almost taken off his fingers so many times and he still comes back for more. *smiles*

Rule 2: Pay attention to your WOMAN. If something works, keep doing that, and exactly that. She’s not a guy.

Guys, you know how you work. If squeezing is good, squeezing harder is better. If fast is sexy, faster is orgasmic. You find what works, and do it harder and faster and you blast that orgasm out in a New York Minute, wipe and zip, and you’re back at work and no one’s the wiser. Well, bravo, that teaches you precisely nothing about pleasing a woman. When you are down on a woman something that is working is working not just because of WHAT you are doing, but how you are doing it. Nothing spoils the perfect clit lick like applying too much pressure (or not enough). Giving her more isn’t the secret. Find the right thing, and give it to her until she makes herself come. Don’t get her happy and kick it into overdrive right when she gets to the edge, unless you want to tantalize her.

Absolutely true! Don’t go faster boys! Nothing ruins my orgasms quicker then when you do that! BTW this applies to fucking as well, at least with me. If I am moaning and getting close, don’t get excited and start going faster! Contain yourself! Pretty please? Keep doing what you are doing EXACTLY how you are doing it. Let HER tell you other wise. Let her tell you faster, harder… isn’t that hotter any ways?

Rule 3: Oral starts before you lick.

I know most guys would be find plopping on the couch naked and getting their cock sucked out of the clear blue sky. And, most women could be convinced. But, you can’t give great oral by just diving in tongue first and going to town. But again, she’s not a guy. The right sequence of events will not make her come. You have to engage her mind in it. If her mood isn’t there, the orgasm never will be. Is there a right way to build up to oral? No. Are there wrong ways? Absolutely. Does it take much? Not necessarily. Sometimes an authoritative pull of the hair and a push into bed is enough. Other times, an elaborate massage is needed. The point is that the woman needs to feel desired, and desirable. The more you make her feel like licking her is an eagerly-awaited privilege, and the less like a necessary pit stop before you can plug her with your cock, the better it will make her feel. But, by now, this is probably obvious to you.

But something guys forget: women are often very verbal. Talk to her! Tell her what you are thinking, how she looks. Use words and engage her brain. If there is any woman who has been said she is beautiful too many times during please comment below. Please.

For me, my mind is the key to my orgasm. I have to focus on what’s going on down there in order to orgasm. All women are different. Some women are blessed to be able to orgasm easily and quickly without a second thought. Others, like me, require a LOT of time. If my head is not there, my body won’t be either. Sylvanus has a way of changing my moods very easily. Bottom line boys, don’t get frustrated if she isn’t into it at that moment. Maybe talk to her about what could be going on and then once that is out of the way.. let the pleasure begin!

Rule 4: Just “be there” for the afterglow.

Okay, you’ve done it. She is writhing on the bed in a puddle of sweat, shivering and moaning. Bravo. Now what? Ram the cock home? Wrong answer. Push her head down? Also wrong. Just hold her. Seriously. Just give her a second to recover her senses, and to let her throbbing nerves calm enough to handle some contact. If she wants to give you some thank-you head, she will. I promise. If she wants you to reward yourself with some sex, she’ll let you know. But right after she comes, just be there. Don’t ever let good tongue turn into some sort of expectation of reward. Nothing lets the air out of a good orgasm faster than turning into a “You owe me _____.” Great oral is a gift, for both of you. Never take that away. Remember, the next time you’re down there, you want her to just relax and enjoy it, so you can work your magic again, right? If she knows that there is some rancid ball-licking in her future because she let you lick her…well, that won’t make her feel like someone you are craving for her goddess-level sexiness, will it?

I love this time. I feel like a used Raggedy Anne doll when he turns me to the side and holds me as I pant, my hair a mess. I always need just a few minutes to recover. Just a few.

This is also a time that it is important to understand your woman. Some women love to taste themselves on their men, some don’t. So, you need to know if she wants to be kissed. Maybe she doesn’t like your breath, and you need to have some water around to tone it down (or maybe some alcohol). What if she wants to be made a mess of? Maybe she likes having her juices smeared on her, maybe not. And, of course, there is the Grand Provision: “A woman’s wants today do not indicate future desires.” Maybe she loves one thing drunk and another sober. The point is, your “paying attention” duties do NOT end at orgasm.

And, for the love of God, please, do not ever, after giving oral say any of the following:

• “You sure take a long time.” Hey, you spent all day trying to play with her pussy, now you’re upset when you get to do it?
• “What did you eat?” As soon as your semen tastes like a Frosty, you can lecture her on how she tastes.
• “Your turn!”

Okay with the rules in place, here are a few things to try:
-Vary your position. Lie across her and have your face sideways, licking across her labia. Lick her from behind. Some women like to come more in certain positions. Use that to your advantage. Varied positions are always fun! I like finding new ways of getting stimulated. It’s wonderful for foreplay, but don’t forget what really makes her cum! I usually cum while on my back. Once in awhile I get on my knees and he licks me from behind. That is a very tough one for him I’m sure it makes him sore!

-Use toys once in a while. A vibrator or a dildo inside her (or your fingers) will completely change the complexion of what you are doing.

-Understand that putting something inside her while you lick often has a lot more to do with giving her muscle something to squeeze that necessarily creating a lot of friction. Remember - she’s not a guy. And if you don’t think I’m right, check out the design of a Rabbit vibrator sometime. All the vibration is on the clit, and the part that penetrates just churns against her muscle.

-Use your voice. Especially deep voices are great natural vibrators.

-Have fun! After all…if it’s not fun, why do it?